From time-to-time we have an opportunity to act as a community to address injustice and speak with a common voice about the needs and desires of our families. The situation in Orange County, CA where a minority of parents in a private Catholic school has petitioned for removal of twins in the school's kindergarten class because their parents are gay is just one of those times. (See article at the end of this e-newsletter.)
The principal, pastor and superintendent of the school have taken a stand in support of inclusion and refused to discriminate against this family. As your national family organization, we encourage you to e-mail the principal and pastor expressing your support and thanks for their stand for all families. We are asking you to send messages thanking them for extending the same rights and protections to all families and for realizing that our families want what all other families want for their children: a safe and welcoming school experience where children can thrive and reach their optimum potential.
To reach the principal, Sr. Mary Vianney, e-mail mvianney@sjbschool.net . To reach the pastor, Father Martin Denzowl, e-mail frmartin@sjboc.org .
SunServe, Fort Lauderdale's gay and lesbian social services agency, joins forces with the Washington, DC-based Family Pride Coalition to present the second annual "Valuing Our Families" conference April 8-10, 2005. This gathering of families and allies will take place at the Metropolitan Community Church's Sunshine Cathedral in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
The weekend conference will include more than 20 workshops and panels on a range of family issues, and will include activities for children, educational panels on marriage and parenting laws in Florida and a family picnic. In addition, participants are invited to a special evening gala event to honor LGBT family advocates. Actress Sharon Gless (Queer as Folk") was the recipient of the inaugural Valuing Our Families" award, and this year will present that honor to Rosie and Kelli O'Donnell. Kelli O'Donnell is a former Nickelodeon marketing executive, and is a co-founder of R Family Vacations, a travel company serving the LGBT family community. Rosie O'Donnell is an award-winning entertainer, and the founder of the For All Kids Foundation, Inc. Both have been outspoken advocates for LGBT equality, particularly around issues of parenting and marriage. They are the parents of four children.
The O'Donnell's have been such remarkable and generous champions of LGBT families, not only in their high profile public life, but also in their own household, said SunServe's Jim Lopresti, conference co-chair. It is for this tireless dedication and commitment at every level that we honor them with our national Valuing Our Families Award.
We are so proud to once again join forces with SunServe and other Fort Lauderdale community organizations to provide Florida families and our allies with an opportunity to gather and gain strength through advocacy, educational and support opportunities, said Aimee Gelnaw, executive director of the Family Pride Coalition.
In addition to the host organization, the Sunshine Cathedral MCC, other co-sponsors of the conference include the National Conference for Community and Justice; Seniors Active in a Gay Environment (SAGE); Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG)/Florida, South Florida Family Pride; and the National Organization for Women (NOW)/Broward. Nominations are also being sought for community awards to be presented at the gala event. For more information, or for nomination forms, go to www.sunserve.org . Deadline for nomination submission is Feb. 28.
The Family Pride Coalition is proud to announce that it will present its first-ever Texas LGBT Family Conference on Sat., Feb. 26 in Dallas, Texas . The Cathedral of Hope has generously agreed to host this event. In partnership with the Lesbian/Gay Rights Lobby (LGRL) of Texas, Lambda Legal, PFLAG, Dallas Family Pride, Austin Rainbow Parents, other local parenting groups, Texas family law attorneys and faith leaders, the Family Pride Coalition will present a one-day conference featuring panel discussions and workshops on a variety of issues for LGBT parents and those considering parenthood, as well as PFLAG parents/grandparents and youth programming by COLAGE for those nine years and older.
This event is scheduled two weeks prior to the LGRL rally and lobby day in Austin, March 13-14. Child care provided by Cathedral of Hope child care volunteers. Registration will be available soon for the conference. For more information, check out www.familypride.org .
In conversations with our families, both online and at Family Pride Coalition events, the issue of meeting the challenges of our children with special needs emerges regularly. As your national LGBT family organization, we applaud your commitment to create the best possible lives and opportunities for your children and acknowledge that this journey is often fraught with challenges, unanswered questions, isolation and a great need to network and communicate with others.
To address this specific need within our national parenting community, the Family Pride Coalition has sponsored workshops for parents attending our events. Now, in the interest of broadening access to the greatest number of people, we have launched a Special Needs Online Community to further support and enhance dialogue around these issues. Many parents have already joined and found support and additional resources through this unique list-serv. If you, or anyone you know, would like to join this list, please click on the link below and register for this online community. We welcome you and will continue to seek ways to support the courageous work that you do as parents.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FamilyPride_Special_Needs_Chat
The Family Pride Coalition is proud to welcome the new Family Pride DC local parenting group at a parenting conference Sat., April 30 . This event is co-sponsored by Family Pride Coalition with Whitman-Walker's newest program, Family Pride DC and COLAGE. Watch for further details or call Ruti at (202) 331-3775 to receive information.
The Lesbian and Gay Family Building Project, with co-sponsors Family Pride Coalition and Empire State Pride Agenda, is planning a Family Weekend Conference for LGBT parents, prospective parents and their kids in Syracuse, NY Nov. 11-13, 2005. We expect this event to bring together LGBT families from all over upstate New York and beyond. We promise an exciting weekend of meeting and socializing with other families like yours, workshops for adults about LGBT parenting and family building, childcare/ special programming for children of all ages, off-site family outings, a resource fair and a family dance. Conference hotel room rates are $109/night. We will work to keep registration and meal costs reasonable and to offer financial support to families that need it. We're asking you to respond as soon as possible with your non-binding RSVP. We know this is a long time from now, but we do not want to over- or under-commit in our contract with the conference hotel, which needs to be signed very soon. Please respond to LesGayFamBldg@aol.com with your interest in our conference.
Freedom to Marry Week 2005 will begin with Freedom to Marry Day on Sat., Feb. 12. Freedom To Marry week provides an opportunity for LGBT parents, those considering parenthood and our friends and families with a chance to reaffirm our commitment to justice and equality for LGBT families.
We need to hear your voice in this historic moment. Join with your friends and family in your hometown, February 12-19 to reaffirm our advances, celebrate our relationships and move our cause forward. With anti-gay activists and policy makers at all levels of government working against us, you and your family are the marriage movement's strongest allies.
The Freedom To Marry Day Resource Kit is a fantastic resource that has everything you need to get started on planning and executing events both within your chapter and your community. Whether it is a big event or a small party for your friends, whatever you choose to do will make a real difference as we work to change the hearts and minds of those around us.
Whether it is a big event or a small party for your friends, whatever you choose to do will make a real difference as we work to change the hearts and minds of those around us. This is the kind of work that has brought us to this historic time -- a time when 60 percent of American voters say they support either civil unions or full marriage equality for same-sex couples. Your efforts are paying off, so don't stop now!
The Freedom to Marry Day Resource Kit is available at http://www.freedomtomarry.org/taking_action.asp .
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By Joel Rubin and William Lobdell
Los Angeles Times Staff Writers
January 2, 2005
In a clash that pits Catholic teachings against shifting values of American society, a group of parishioners and parents has accused Orange County church leaders of defying Pope John Paul II by allowing a gay couple to enroll their two boys in a diocese school.
Eighteen people signed a letter last month demanding that St. John the Baptist School in Costa Mesa accept only families that sign a pledge to live by Catholic doctrine a move that effectively would kick the boys out of school. The church regards homosexual acts as sinful, and in 2003 the pontiff condemned marriage and adoption by same-sex couples.
"This is not a radical or mean-spirited approach to Catholic education," read the letter. "It is a straightforward assurance to any prospective parent that their child will be taught the fullness of Roman Catholic doctrine."
But Father Martin Benzoni, who oversees the 550-student elementary and middle school, last week rejected the group's demands. He released a new policy stating that a child's education comes first and that a family's background "does not constitute an absolute obstacle to enrollment in the school."
Benzoni acknowledged the conflict between the two-father family and the teachings of the church, but said that the boys both kindergarteners, adopted by a pair of Costa Mesa men had been baptized in the faith and deserved a Catholic education.
"I firmly believe that this policy is in line with the teaching of the Catholic Church," said Benzoni, who is a member of the conservative Norbertine order that runs the school and parish for the diocese.
Dismayed by the decision, some parents said they plan to ask the Vatican for help, while others said they may pull their children from the school.
"The teachings of the church seem to have been abandoned," said parent John R. Nixon. "We send our children to a Catholic school ... because we expect and demand that the teachings of our church will be ... adhered to. If our Catholic school is no longer teaching and living Catholic doctrine, we might as well send our children to public schools."
The leader of one conservative Catholic organization agreed, contending that unless the boys leave, the school must either fail to teach Catholic marriage values or subject the brothers to humiliation.
"There's no way those kids cannot be hurt in a Catholic school if that school teaches the faith," said Stephen G. Brady, president of the Roman Catholic Faithful, based in Illinois.
"Is the church going to teach them that their parents are going to hell for the lifestyle they are living?"
But several other conservative and liberal Catholic leaders backed the school, saying that regardless of the church's views on homosexuality and same-sex unions, it would be wrong to punish the children.
"To single out these kids because of their gay parents would be invidious," said William Donohue, president of the conservative Catholic League. "You cannot burden the innocent."
The fathers of the two boys declined to be interviewed.
Parents said they have grown increasingly upset since the men enrolled their children at the start of this school year. Anger built as the two men were both listed as fathers in the school directory and one volunteered as a teacher's aide in class.
The protesting parents said that the school is violating a church teaching on same-sex unions released by Pope John Paul II in 2003.
The pontiff encouraged Catholics to vigorously protest domestic partnerships and, "above all, to avoid exposing young people to erroneous ideas about sexuality and marriage that would deprive them of their necessary defenses and contribute to the spread of the phenomenon."
They also say the school is sacrificing the religious education of other children in the boys' class.
"If I was a teacher in that classroom, I would not say anything to make those children question their caregivers," said Paul Krieger, whose daughter attends St. John the Baptist. "Which means I would not be teaching the faith. I would be kind to two children and relinquish my duties to the other 30 in the classroom."
Krieger and others also voiced concern that by allowing the two boys to remain at the school, church and school officials are setting a precedent that could eventually lead to liberalization of the church's teachings on sexuality.
Many of the angry parents portrayed the debate as part of a broader campaign by gay and lesbian Catholics to gain greater acceptance within the church. "The boys are being used as pawns by these men to [further] their agenda," said Monica Sii, who has four children at St. John's.
Michael Joseph Sundstedt, a Newport Beach attorney advising the group of parents, said they want families enrolling their children in St. John the Baptist to sign a "parental moral covenant" agreeing to abide by Catholic teachings. While unusual in Catholic schools, similar declarations are required by many Protestant Christian schools.
The two fathers might sign the declaration even though they could not abide by it "that's between them and their maker," Sundstedt said. "But I strongly suspect that those parents wouldn't sign the agreement."
But Father Gerald M. Horan, superintendent of schools run by the Diocese of Orange, rejected the idea of a parental covenant. If the school barred gay parents from enrolling their children, they would also have to ban children of parents who violate other church teachings, including those who are divorced, use birth control or weren't married in the church, he said.
"This is the quagmire that [the parents'] position represents," Horan said. "It's a slippery slope to go down."
It's unclear how many parents at the school are aware of the debate or how many object to the boys' enrollment. But one mother said she and several other parents support the school's decision.
"It's a shame that a minority of loonies chooses to hate instead of love," said Katie Flores, whose daughter is a classmate of the boys. "Let he [who is] without sin cast the first stone."
The controversy brings into focus the gulf between the views of American Catholics many of whom, for instance, support abortion rights and birth control and key teachings of the church.
Father Jim Schexnayder, head of a national network of Catholic ministries that encourages the participation of gays in the church, said he knew of a handful of similar cases throughout the country in which parents complained when gay couples enrolled their children.
And a lesbian couple in Oregon has sued a Catholic school, claiming their daughter was rejected because of their lifestyle.
"While the church has teachings on [homosexuality], people do not have the right to judgment or presumption," he said. "These are opportunities for teaching and understanding and compassion, not for condemnation."
But the parents at St. John the Baptist said they won't give up the fight even if they withdraw their children from the school.
"We're taking a stand for the faith," said parent Ken Stashik. "This is much larger than what's going on in a small Catholic school in a small town."
Said his wife, Jackie: "In 20 or 30 years, when they ask, 'When did Catholic schools change, when did they stop teaching the faith?,' I will be able to say September 2004. And I can say I did nothing or I stood up."