Family Pride’s Blog

Today is my first blog posting and I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself and explain why I decided to join the Family Pride team.

My political consciousness began at a very early age thanks to my parents’ teachings. They were both involved in the Chicano movement of the 1970s, aimed at ending discrimination against people of Mexican descent in the Southwest. I was taught to be proud of who I was, to never abandon my culture and to never forget the struggle that our people have faced and continue to endure. This acknowledgement of persecution has enabled me to take action against injustice in various instances in my life.

My first exposure to LGBT issues came during the 1992 Senate Democratic primary in Texas. I was in the fifth grade. Jose Angel Gutierrez, a leader of La Raza Unida Party, a long-defunct all Chicano political party that my parents were a part of in the seventies, was running for the Democratic nomination for the U.S. Senate.

I went with my dad to a forum where Jose Angel was going to speak. Gutierrez was seen as being too radical (both within the Mexican-American community and outside of it) and many were unwilling to support him.

Several people in the audience were members of the American GI Forum, a Mexican-American civil rights organization from the previous generation that butted heads with many in the Chicano movement, and they were ready to take him on. The GI Forum is mostly comprised of military veterans that fought against discrimination against Mexicans within the ranks and later in the population in general. They wanted to know where Jose Angel stood on a controversial issue at the time: Clinton’s “don’t ask don’t tell” policy.

When confronted, Jose Angel spoke passionately about how he had fought discrimination his whole life and this was no different. An entire group of people was being shut out of an institution, the way Mexicans had been kept out of political office and jobs for so long. He was adamant that you can’t split hairs when it comes to persecution and went further, saying that not being vocal in another group’s struggle makes you guilty of persecuting that group.

The speech really resonated with me and instilled in me a principle that has led me to work on everything from workers’ rights issues and the fight to end violence against women, to immigrants’ rights and now the LGBT movement.

I’m leaps and bounds away from supporting “don’t ask, don’t tell” but it was that exchange that first exposed me to the LGBT struggle. I believe that working together and realizing the parallels within each of our struggles is a necessary component to overcoming the challenges that face each of our communities.

We can, and should, all be allies in one struggle or another.

If your Labor Day gatherings were anything like mine, a certain bathroom sex scandal was the topic of choice. As summer unofficially comes to a close, let’s take a moment to refocus on some of the more important issues for our families.

There was a groundbreaking victory in Maine on Thursday. A tip of our hat to our friends and neighbors at GLAD. EqualityMaine’s website posted this statement regarding the decision:

This morning, Maine’s Law Court issued a ruling that paves the way for two siblings in foster care to be jointly adopted by the two women who have raised them for the past six years. At last, Ann Courtney and Marilyn Kirby of Portland will be able to form a permanent, legal parental relationship with their foster children, 10-year-old “M” and her brother, six-year-old “R”.  The case was argued by attorneys at Gay & Lesbian Advocates & Defenders.

Also on Thursday, in a historic ruling, an Iowa judge ordered Polk County officials to accept marriage certificates from same-sex couples. Less than 24 hours later, the county won a stay of the judge’s order, halting marriage equality. Nonetheless, some 27 same-sex couples were able to file for applications, and Sean Fritz and Tim McQuillan of Ames, Iowa were able to get married and return their license to the courthouse in time. Thus, they are the first official same-sex couple to be married in the state.

I think it will be interesting to hear the reactions of presidential candidates regarding the Iowa decision. Many candidates have expressed their belief that marriage equality is a state issue - so shouldn’t we expect to see those same candidates support this big leap for equality in Iowa? Only time will tell.

Stay tuned. September is shaping up to be a historic month for our families.

This morning I was reading an article about the ongoing marriage battle in California. The article quoted VoteYesMarriage.com, an anti-gay family equality organization dedicated to barring marriage equality in the Sunshine State.

I decided the check out VoteYesMarriage.com for myself. Drawn in by the smiling faces of the diverse opposite-sex couples that lined the page header, I clicked the link labeled “why we must stop the judges and politicians.” This is what I discovered:

The California Marriage Amendment is Essential
to Preserve Marriage for the Sake of the Children

Do you see how marriage provides an important foundation for children?… Marriage is especially important for the raising of children. Research shows a child does best when raised by a father and mother who are married. On average, marriage serves the well-being of children — by raising boys and girls who are better educated, physically healthier, emotionally more stable, and less likely to get involved with drugs, drop out of school, get pregnant before marriage, or become victims of violent crime.

Perhaps the folks at VoteYesMarriage.com are forgetting something. Straight people aren’t the only ones with children; 20% of gay men and 33% of lesbians have children. So, then, I ask: don’t our children deserve the protection of marriage since it is so important?

And what about the “research” that shows a child does best when raised by a mother and a father who are married? There are indeed decades of research on the subject compiled by a great many sources. In 2006, Family Pride invited those researchers to our first ever Academic Symposium. For better or worse, we wanted to provide academics with a space to present their findings and share their research with the country. The consensus was this: LGBTQ parents are no better or worse than their non-LGBTQ counterparts. Not a single piece of research showed otherwise.

So, let’s protect children. Let’s ensure that their families have legal rights. Let’s ensure that social security survivor benefits will be transferred from one partner to another. Let’s ensure they can be covered by the health care of either parent (if it is a two-parent household). Let’s make sure that nondiscrimination policies are in place at all levels.

If VoteYesMarriage.com really wants to protect families, they should start with the families that need it most.

There has been so much in the news about the Larry Craig scandal. In case you have been living under a rock, he’s the Republican Senator from Idaho that was nabbed by police in a Minneapolis airport men’s room for alleged lewd conduct. Craig, who is married with three children, has now gone out of his way to assert that he isn’t gay.

The fact is, rumors of Craig being gay aren’t new. Allegations date back to the 80s. And Mike Rogers of BlogActive “outed” Craig last October.

There have been mixed reactions to this latest scandal even within our own community.

Loudest is the cry of hypocrisy; a cry that is certainly warranted given Craig’s staunch opposition to equal rights. He’s about as conservative as they get. Without fail, time and time again, Craig has voted against our families on important legislation.

Hypocrite or not, many people have sympathized with Craig - even in our own community. How many of us made fun of gays in high school so that we wouldn’t be picked on ourselves? How many of us had boyfriends or girlfriends so that people wouldn’t question our sexuality? It’s a time of inner conflict and fear. Granted, making a gay joke isn’t nearly as harmful as voting against ENDA, but still… a parallel does exist.

But there’s also a lot of outrage being directed towards the Minneapolis police department. These type of “bag the fag” operations have long been used to harass and shame gays. A lot of individuals and organizations have spoken out against these tactics.

And as gay parents, many of us are torn. We don’t want police singling out and targeting gay men. But on the other hand, we don’t want lewd behavior occurring in a place where our children might see it. It’s a tough call and there’s no easy answer.

With all the publicity and media hoopla surrounding this scandal, I think that it is important, as parents, to recognize the less obvious victims of the situation. Our hearts certainly go out to Craig’s three children in what must certainly be a difficult and trying time for them and their family.