Family Pride’s Blog

This Sunday is Mother’s Day - a national day of celebration, recognizing the contributions of moms across the country.

As we write this, children in schools everywhere are busy gluing glitter to construction paper and writing poems for their mothers. While this is indeed a fantastic way to celebrate, it can also have some not-so-fantastic implications for some families.

How so? Consider 4-year-old Jessie, who has two dads. Jessie’s kindergarten class spent the afternoon talking about the great things that their moms do and creating artwork for Mother’s Day. When it was Jessie’s turn to talk about his mom, he didn’t know what to say. Jessie went home with a big “I love you, mom!” card for his two dads. His dads didn’t know how to handle the situation or what went wrong.

Instances like this occur all the time. Too many of our families are marginalized by gendered holidays and well-intentioned but ill-prepared schools. So how do we fix it?

It’s a big issue. First, we need to know how to talk to our children about our families. Download Family Pride’s Talking to Our Children resource and use it to jump-start conversations with your children. Second, know how to talk to your schools about being inclusive of all loving families. Download, print out and read Opening Doors, Opening More Doors and the Back to School Tool. Share them with your school community. Third, be as out as you can safely be. Had Jessie’s dads been visible and present to the teacher, the teacher would have had the tools to approach the situation differently.

Of course, the same is true for Father’s Day.

At Family Pride, instead of celebrating Mother’s or Father’s Day, we celebrate Parents Day. In 1994, Bill Clinton signed into law a resolution establishing the fourth Sunday of every July National Parents Day. On this day, we celebrate the contributions of all parents, regardless of gender, and recognize that families come in many different shapes and sizes.

What do you think? How do you celebrate your family?

Today is the day that the U.S. House of Representatives is set to vote on the Hate Crimes Prevention Act. According to a HRC press release:

As the U.S. House of Representatives is set to vote tomorrow (Thursday) on H.R. 1592, the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, anti-gay extremist organizations have embarked on a desperate last attempt to derail passage of the bill. Marking a new low in politics, these groups have embraced the work of a known white-supremacist filmmaker, callously invoked the Virginia Tech massacre, blatantly lied about the congressional record and even used the name and image of Jesus Christ in vain.

The Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act would strengthen the ability of law enforcement officials to investigate and prosecute hate crimes when a crime is committed because of a person’s sexual orientation, gender, gender identity or disability. The current hate crimes law applies only to violent crimes committed due to the victim’s race, color, national origin and religion.”

Yesterday afternoon, the radically conservative Family Research Council issued an action alert urging its supporters to call legislators around the country and released this statement:

This bill creates a caste system within American society where those who fit a certain category - ranging from race, disability, gender to sexual orientation and transgendered - would be seen as deserving special legal protection. The bill is most notable for the millions of Americans it leaves out, meaning if you or I are a victim of a violent crime - we matter less.”

With only hours until the vote, what can we do to counter this last-minute effort by the far right?

1. Sign the National Center for Transgender Equality’s petition supporting the Hate Crimes Prevention Act. There is great power in numbers!
2. Contact your representatives. Use this preformatted email from the People for the American Way.
3. Spread the word. Talk about the Hate Crimes Prevention Act at work today. Send an email to your contacts. Call friends and family.

Let’s make history today!

Groups for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) parents build community power and are valuable resources for the family equality movement. Moreover, they’re a great place to share ideas, discuss parenting tips and to find support.

Here are six tips that will make your parents group experience even more spectacular:

1. Don’t reinvent the wheel. If you want to be a part of a parents group, there may already be one in your local community to join. Family Pride offers a vast state-by-state listing of local groups. Check it out.
2. Establish a regular meeting time. It builds momentum and creates structure.
3. Harness the power of the internet (and recognize its limits). The internet may be your most powerful tool in working with your parents group or starting a group from scratch. Meetup.com offers countless LGBTQ parents meetups across the country. Tap into their network. Consider creating a Yahoo or Google group to organize your members. But remember, the internet is a means, not an end. The internet is not inclusive of all communities, especially lower-income communities. Don’t do all of your outreach online.
4. Build partners and coalitions. Don’t go it alone. Reach out to local LGBTQ friendly businesses and churches, bookstores, schools and local LGBTQ papers. You’ll be able to secure resources like free advertising or meeting space if you reach out.
5. Organize. The most effective parents groups are organized with phone trees, mission statements and written outreach plans. If you don’t know how to create these, download the resources from Family Pride’s Parents Group Corner.
6. Have fun. And keep in touch with Family Pride for ideas or resources.

Do you have any additional parents group tips? If so, we want to hear them. Leave a comment.

For 17 years now, Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida has celebrated Gay Day, an annual gay event held at the theme park. Now, Walt Disney World is putting a special focus on family during the Gay Day event. This new series of events is called Gay Day Family, and will be occurring June 1-3rd.

The event is being produced by Alison Burgos, Amy Alonso and Yesi Leon, who also produced the Girls in Wonderland parties at Gay Day. Many single mothers asked the producers if there would be day care at the Gay Day events, or if they would be allowed to bring a kid under 18. Instead of saying no, the producers decided they had to offer another choice to these parents, and that is how Gay Day Family was born.

“Disney is a place for kids and families,” Leon said. “We didn’t want gay families staying home, because they felt excluded. We’re creating a weekend that feels safe and welcoming for everyone.” Whether your family includes toddlers or teens, the Gay Day Family weekend has fun-filled offerings guaranteed to bring smiles to their faces. Grandparents, aunts and uncles, and family friends are welcome too, organizers say.

As part of the Gay Day Family vacation package, families get to stay at the Fairfield Inn at Marriott Village; roundtrip airport transfers; tickets to the Magic Kingdom and transportation from the Fairfield Inn; an invitation to a special family luau (including buffet, entertainment, and non-alcoholic drinks); invites to the Shamu picnic at SeaWorld (also including buffet and non-alcoholic drinks); entrance to the park and transportation to and from the park; a commemorative T-shirt; free breakfast every morning at the Fairfield; and limited free use of the Treasure Cove Kids Club. Other highlights among the events include a Medieval Times Dinner Tournament and a Disney Character Breakfast.

Sponsors of Gay Day Family include Jane and Jane magazine, Gay Parenting magazine, Miami and the Beaches, Miami Boutique Hotels, KB Toys, and us - the Family Pride Coalition.

More information is available at www.GayDayFamily.com or by calling 305-527-9760.  Look for a Gay Day Blog here by event organizer Yesi Leon in the coming weeks.

We are often emailed by LGBTQ parents or allies across the country that have secured victories in their communities. These victories, big and small, are all important and are fundamentally shaping the family equality movement. They are important reminders that victories don’t just occur in legislators and courtrooms, but rather in classrooms, neighborhoods and living rooms across the country.

Victory is turning a friend into an ally, or donating LGBTQ family books to a school library. Victory is telling an extended family member about why family equality is important to everyone. Victory is changing just one heart or one mind.

We recognize that small actions result in big change. These victories are important, and we want to share them with the greater Family Pride community.

As such, we’ve created a new tab at the top of this blog. In addition to tabs that read “home,” “about” and “banners,” you’ll notice a new tab: “victory.” This is your page to share your victories (or the victories of your loved ones, friends or the local community) with the world.

To list a victory, simply post it as a comment to the page. Let’s spread the word and recognize one and other for the accomplishments we are making across this country.

It’s no secret that the times are changing. The information age has birthed the connected age - a world of blogs, message boards, wikis, social networks, RSS feeds and countless other tools that are functional, fast and free. The world is getting smaller and we’re more connected than ever before. Information is exchanged at break neck speeds and, through the internet, grassroots advocacy and action are ignited faster and more effectively than ever.

In this new world, power is pushed to the edges. Everyday citizens are given a stronger voice and the tools to express it. Everyday citizens are given the ability to affect change like never before.

A recent article by Lane Hudson points to the fact that the gay rights movement must wake up to the importance of the blogosphere. It was picked up by Pam’s House blend and brought to our attention by Mombian:

It seems that the gay rights movement may be the least adept at knowing their value. At a recent event, a leader in the local DC gay rights movement told me that he “hates” blogs. Other gay rights leaders have been tone deaf when it comes to working with the blogosphere.”

We couldn’t agree with Lane Hudson more. With the advent of the blogosphere, organizations can no longer view themselves as “mouthpieces.” Dialogue occurs in two directions. And dialogue is necessary to strengthen this movement as a whole. This new, more connected world isn’t a threat - it’s an opportunity of monumental proportions.

Everyday, at Family Pride, we challenge ourselves to “wake up” just a little bit more to this new and exciting world. We recognize that people are much more likely to be part of a plan or a movement if they have a say in shaping it. It’s why we encourage people to comment on our blog, write guest posts and give us feedback. It’s why our new website plan is being shaped by our supporters through wikis.

As we continue to challenge ourselves and the organization to open new doors and travel new avenues, we want your input every step of the way. This is your movement.

Embracing the blogosphere is just scratching the surface. Wikis, social networks and other new technologies are powerful tools that are reshaping the way we interact and the way we work. Ultimately, if we use these tools effectively, we will be smarter, more strategic and more powerful than ever.

The world has changed. Let’s challenge ourselves to embrace it.

What do you think?

Tomorrow, April 26, is national “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.” Celebrate the 15th anniversary of this annual program by taking your children to your workplace. “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day” was founded by the Ms. Foundation for Women to create an opportunity for children to share and communication their expectations for the future.

As parents, we also have some expectations for our children’s future. We work to create a world that recognizes, respects, protects and celebrates all loving families. We believe that families are defined by love and commitment. We envision a country that celebrates a diversity of family constellations and that respects and commends individuals for stepping up, supporting one another and creating families.

Statistics show that when non-LGBTQ people know 3 or more LGBTQ people personally, they are more likely to support equality. Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day is the perfect opportunity to make your family visible and change hearts and minds across this country.

Our friends at TransKids Purple Rainbow, a national advocacy organization for transgender children, gave us a heads up about an exciting project that they have been working on with Barbara Walters and ABC News.

TransKids Purple Rainbow stated:

We hope to reach out to others who are in pain and have no where else to turn for help.  We also hope to educate those who can’t imagine how a little child could actually express that he or she was born trapped in the wrong body. 

The show will air on Friday, April 27th on ABC at 10:00PM but check local listings.

It seems that our participation in the Kevin Bacon Challenge is the gift that keeps on giving! Not only did the competition result in over $40,000 for our important work (making schools safe and inclusive, defeating anti-family legislation and promoting pro-family legislation, ensuring that LGBTQ families are present in the media, building community power through OUTSpoken trainings and local parents groups, and a long list of publications and resources), but it has also been an amazing opportunity for our families to be visible.

Just a few days ago, Family Pride co chair Ken Manford had a ten minute conversation with Kevin Bacon about LGBTQ families and why this fight for equality is so important (see his guest post). The conversation was recorded by our friends at sixdegrees.org (who hosted the Kevin Bacon Challenge). And now, it’s available to download! To listen to the full 10 minute interview with Kevin Bacon, click here. To listen to an abridged 3 minute interview, click here.

Tonight, Friday, April 20, Kevin Bacon is going to announce the six winners on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. So, set your VCRs and TiVos once again - and call up your family and friends who made this competition such a success.

As I look back on this competition, one thing stands out. As a community of LGBTQ parents and allies - friends, teachers, neighbors and coworkers - we are tremendously powerful. We are making change and building a better, more inclusive world for our families. With this struggle is coming great progress.

Situated smack-dab between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is this year’s 2nd annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day on June 1st. It is a day when Bloggers of all sexual orientations and gender identities come together and write in celebration and support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) families.

The event was developed by LGBT-parenting site Mombian and is sponsored by all of us at Family Pride (yay!). Together, we will raise awareness of LGBT families, their diverse backgrounds and how current discrimination is negatively impacting all families.

Our friend Dana Rudolph, founder and publisher of Mombian, explained:

I chose June 1 because it falls almost exactly between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. As such, it honors both equally, but also conveys that not all families fit into the traditional structure of one mother and one father. June 1st is also the start of Gay Pride Month, making it doubly appropriate.”

Last year, over 130 bloggers participated in Blogging for LBGT Families Day including lesbian moms, gay dads, adult children of LGBT parents, members of the transgender community, LGBT individuals without children, and non-LGBT allies. Countries represented included the United States as well as Australia, Canada, and the UK. Some bloggers told stories about their paths to parenthood, or tales about their children; some wrote about LGBT relatives or friends; others discussed current political events; and several spoke of why their faith compels them to support LGBT rights. Many affirmed that love was the defining characteristic of a family.

Dana went on to say:

Sharing our stories and opinions with each other and the world helps us realize our similarities and respect our differences. It gives strength to the LGBT community and our allies and helps others understand us. They can see that anti-LGBT legislation affects real families.”

Any blogger who supports the goal of the event is welcome to participate, whether they are LGBT or straight, parents or not. To do so, bloggers should write relevant posts on or before June 1, and notify Mombian that they are taking part. Mombian will showcase the full list of participants on June 1. The choice of subject is up to individual writers. Topics might include family anecdotes, paths to parenthood, a local or national issue of LGBT family rights, being raised in an LGBT family, having an LGBT relative, or what someone has learned from the LGBT family down the street.

For more details about the event, or to download promotional banners, visit Mombian’s Blogging for LGBT Families page.