Family Pride’s Blog

A little over a week ago, we brought you the story of Cathy James, an OUTSpoken lesbian mom in Florida who attended the ultra-conservative Family Impact Summit in Tampa. In case you missed the story, click here. Today, Cathy speaks out about her experience.

I want to thank David for asking me to comment on my experience at the Family Impact Summit. Jim Burroway from Box Turtle Bulletin pretty much summed up the interaction I had with the panelists so I would like to tell you about the press conference and a few comments I have after 2 weeks of reflection.

When I found out in mid-August that a large group of national anti-gay leaders and speakers would be meeting in mid-September about 4 miles from my house, I was aggravated. Under the leadership of Nadine Smith, Executive Director of Equality Florida, a half dozen local gay leaders joined with some heavy-hitters of our own, to plan a press conference and witness rally on the afternoon before the conference started. Speakers at the press conference included: Nadine Smith, Equality Florida; Wayne Besen, Truth Wins Out; Rev. Irene Monroe, Faith In America; Sally Phillips, Hillsborough Florida GLBT Democratic Caucus; Rev. Phyllis Hunt, MCC Tampa; Marty Rouse, Human Rights Campaign; Barbara Leavitt, spouse of former ex-gay; Rev. Cedric A. Harmon, Americans United for Separation of Church & State; Michelle Kenoyer, a non-gay ally who lives about 5 miles from the site of the summit.

My aggravation turned to anger when my Florida District 56 State Representative Trey Traviesa and the Hillsborough County Supervisor of Elections became sponsors of the summit.

While planning the press conference I kept feeling that our response was too national. These bigots were in MY backyard and I was not happy about it. I talked with several friends about what WE could do. I didn’t want to waste a vacation day and $100 to attend the summit only to be told I am an abomination. We talked about a protest on Saturday. My Holy Spirit moment came when the summit opened up Free Sessions on both Friday and Saturday.

The Free Session on Saturday was a town hall entitled “Defending Marriage: What’s at Stake? My good friend Zeke and I signed up to attend. As a cradle Catholic who attended 12 years of Catholic school and 2 more at a Baptist college, I will never shy away from a discussion of religion. It was difficult sitting through the homophobic, ridiculous and illogical statements by the moderator Rena Lindevaldsen and panelists Peter Sprigg and John Stemberger, but my blood was boiling as the statistics expert Dale O’Leary said that I was much more likely to have psychological disorders and addictions than she was and that my partner and I are harmful to our child.

In pondering what I heard and what I said as scribed by Jim Burroway, I have the following observations:

• Be thoroughly familiar with what the anti-gay crowd is pushing to the religious community. They believe that they have a tried and true system to refute our demand for same-gender rights including marriage. The program, produced by Focus on the Family, is called Ten Persuasive Answers to the Question … “Why not gay marriage?” by Glenn T. Stanton. The pamphlet that accompanies the DVD they gave to all participants tells the reader to “Master the responses to these questions and you will be well-suited to defend the family.” You can study these questions here (1-5) and here (6-10).

• Do not ever be silent when someone is spewing hatred of our community. If you do not have the talking points or the courage to speak out, become an OUTspoken family. Family Pride will provide you with the materials to give you the knowledge and courage to combat our detractors. Seek out a Family Pride workshop or contact Family Pride and offer to help them conduct a workshop in your area.

• Do not accept bigotry as religious truth. Religious teachings that justify bigotry must not be sanctioned by our religious communities. Rather, they must be publicly exposed and denounced. Check out http://www.faithinamerica.info.

• Do not allow anti-gay bigots to use the “values” card. I am a values voter too! I value diversity. I value equality. I value my family.

• BE OUT & INVOLVED – It is so easy to stay at home and leave the work to others. Trust me, I did that until about 2001, but I found out that in Florida as a non-biological mom I have no legal rights in my child’s life. Be out in every part of your life – with family, at work, at church, at your child’s school. Serve on the board of your homeowners’ association, serve in ministries at your church, volunteer with the local or statewide LGBT advocacy group, volunteer at your child’s school, start a Family Pride chapter if your area does not have one.

• Financially support the work of Family Pride, other national, state and local advocacy organizations and political candidates that advocate for all citizens. Remember, they work hard for your family every day.

I’m not sure that this pontification is what David had in mind when he asked me to write a blog, but remember … be careful what you ask for!!

Cathy James is a founder and board member of Securing Our Children’s Rights, Inc., a statewide organization committed to repealing the ban on adoption by gay Floridians. She can be reached at cathy@ourchildrensrights.org.

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