Family Pride’s Blog

I’m excited to share this cross-post with you, thanks to our friend Dana Rudolph of Mombian.com. 

The New York Times reported today on the Evesham, New Jersey School District’s decision to uphold a ban on the film That’s a Family, because of its inclusion of children with same-sex parents. (See my post on the matter.)

The Times tries to remain a neutral reporter, offering opinions both for and against showing such subject matter (depictions of same-sex families, not sex education) to children of elementary-school age. The big point they overlook, however, is that there are children of same-sex families already in preschools and elementary school classrooms. These kids know about same-sex families from birth—or at least from the point they can say “Mommy and Mama” or “Daddy and Papa.” This blows the whole “third grade is too early” argument out of the water.

When schools ban films and books showing same-sex families, they also make our children feel like oddballs and outcasts. No one would think of showing an educational film today that didn’t include racial diversity, and for good reason. Same principle should apply here. This isn’t a matter of teaching children about some distant community. This is about teaching children to respect others who may be sitting right next to them, sharing a juice box.

Furthermore, as I wrote a couple of weeks ago for Bay Windows (and have said before), “it is ridiculous to imagine notifying parents every time a child from an LGBT family wants to share family photos during show and tell or write an essay about going on an R Family cruise.”

They can ban curriculum items (films, books, etc.) that depict same-sex families, or have parents “opt out” of scheduled discussions, but to fully expunge us from the classroom, they’ll have to expel our children or limit their freedom to talk about their own families. And with most schools desperate for parent volunteers, do they really want to tell our children they can’t bring both parents to the school potluck? I make a darn good lasagna and my partner makes a mean batch of oatmeal cookies.

The Family Pride Family Poetry Contest finalists are up! Click here to vote for your favorite poem. Here’s a sample of what you’ll find:

Leaves, leaves drift and flutter
piles and piles among the gutter
red, orange, yellow and green
arrange themselves for the autumn scene
some fall off and finally drop
their friends make room for their landing spot
when you walk, look to see
watch where you step, we’re a family

If there’s one thing you do today, you should watch this video. It’s currently making the rounds online.

In this touching, un-edited clip, the Republican mayor of San Diego announces that he supports marriage equality. He says that he can’t look his lesbian daughter or gay staffers in the face and tell them that their love is unequal.

Watch the clip and let us know what you think.

Are you sad or mad every time you see ads, commercials, or general images of “family” and there are no lgbt families in sight? Well, we found an amazing opportunity to visually showcase our families!

Snapfish.com is looking for photos to complete a project called - America at Home project - the largest collaborative photo project ever attempted.

Join some of the best photographers in the world who are taking photos of particular topics relating to the rituals, events and emotions of Home. Each day you will receive an assignment (see web site) and will be invited to join the clicks heard ’round the nation. You will submit your photos of the people, places and things that best describe what Home means to you and perhaps have one selected for inclusion in the America at Home book and exhibition.

Opportunities like these, give us the chance to change hearts and minds by simply seeing us as “normal,” or “equal” to the traditional concept of a mom and dad equaling family. We are just as loving, supportive, silly, fun, boring, etc. as our non-lgbt counterparts. So snap away and help us continue to shift the paradigm and share the love!

Click here to learn more about the project. It’s online activism made easy.

The road to equality sure has its ups and downs, but the secret is not to dwell on either. So long as we stay on message, hold our heads up high and keep fighting the good fight, we’ll continue to make progress and learn from the challenges we encounter.

Having said that, it sure has been a rough week. Tuesday marked a 4 - 3 split decision from Maryland’s Court of Appeals, reversing a lower court decision and upholding the state law barring gay and lesbian couples from marrying.

The majority opinion said that while the court agrees that marriage is a fundamental right, it says there is no fundamental right to marry someone of the same sex.

Then, to add insult to injury, Gov. Schwarzenegger “terminated” the California marriage bill for the second time in a row. The bill would have granted gays and lesbians marriage rights in California, and was overwhelmingly approved in the state’s legislature.

The only thing that would change his mind, he said Monday, is if voters overturned Proposition 22 which was passed by the electorate in 2000 to stop gay marriage, but which courts have ruled only applies to marriages performed out of state.

“It would be wrong for the people to vote for something and for me to then overturn it,” Schwarzenegger told reporters at a news conference.

As cheesy Terminator puns flood my mind, all I can think is, “Arnold, we’ll be back….”

For a quick, doable action - sign Equality California’s 2007 Marriage Petition. Why? According to Equality California:

Because California lawmakers have once again made history by passing AB 43, the Religious Freedom and Civil Marriage Protection Act. For the second time, the Legislature has passed a bill, authored by Assemblymember Mark Leno and sponsored by EQCA, granting same-sex couples the choice to marry.

In 2005, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger vetoed the marriage bill, and now we have a second chance to urge him to support fairness and equality for all Californians. We have a second chance to let the governor know that we aren’t going anywhere – and that our numbers are growing.

Even if you’re not from the Golden State, let’s send a message of strength in numbers to Gov. Schwarzenegger! Sign the petition today!

As we know from the feedback we got on the Rainbow Report Card, a lot of LGBTQ parents out there are generally pleased with the school environments their kids are in. Oftentimes these parents find it hard to get energized around pushing for specific LGBTQ inclusive policies at their schools because the schools are already doing a decent job of including our families. It’s an understandable dilemma. You don’t want to rock the boat because the boat—right now, at least—is moving along pretty well.

Or is it?

The problem with generally good schools without specific policies that protect our families is that, in the event that there ever is a serious problem or incident, you, the parent, may have little to no legal ground to stand on, should you need to take the issue to the police or courts. A school with a fantastically inclusive principal may unknowingly hire a homophobic teacher, who sometime during the year tells the kids that “married mom and dad couples” are the only real kind of parents in the world. Catastrophe! So you go to the principal, normally an ally, and for a number of reasons—she/he is worried about backlash from the school board, a local teachers union, etc.—she/he gives you the cold shoulder. All of a sudden the great school you thought your children were in no longer seems so great. Where do you turn?

If you’d started earlier, before the homophobic incident, working with the administration to put their good behavior toward LGBTQ families on paper—writing and implementing nondiscrimination & anti-harassment policies, curricular changes to include our families, etc.—you’d be able to show the principal that her or his inaction was against school policy and potentially illegal.

No one wants to imagine a time in which this conversation would take place. But it’s better to plan ahead than be caught unawares. Think of protective school policies like life insurance—invest in it now so it’s there for you later.

To find out more about protecting the children of LGBTQ parents in schools, fill out the Rainbow Report Card, an interactive, personalized online tool that gives doable recommendations to parents and allies on how to make schools safe and inclusive of all loving families.

In stark contrast to adoption.com, parents.com is welcoming lesbian mom, author and blogger, Harlyn Aizley, to their site. Parents.com is owned by Meredith Corporation (publishers of Family Circle Magazine, Parents Magazine, House Beautiful, etc.)… so, needless to say, this is a big step for them!

So, take a look at blog, and maybe leave a comment or two - the louder we are and the more frequently we visit the site, the louder the applause for their decision to have all loving families represented on parents.com.

Not to mention, the blog is well written, funny and all around, a good read. Click here to check it out.

Reminder: 48 hours until the deadline for the Family Poetry Contest! If you haven’t entered yet, click here.

At lot can change in a few years.

When I was interviewing for my current job at Family Pride, there were four staff members. That was a year and a half ago.

Now, we have more employees that that in our Programming Department alone. Today marks Julia Bean’s first day of work at Family Pride as our tenth staff member. Julia joins us as a Program and Education Associate. She earned her BA in Sociology from the University of Maine, and has extensive experience in mentoring and volunteering in diverse communities. Bean is an adult child of a lesbian mother who volunteered during Family Week in Provincetown.

Jenn Chrisler, our Executive Director commented on our explosive growth:

I am thrilled with the addition of four highly qualified and dedicated new staff members. Nina, Daniel, Ariana and Julia bring a diverse and extensive set of skills and experience to Family Pride and will make us all the better at working with and representing LGBTQ families. Our continuing growth will allow Family Pride to reach more LGBT families, make further progress in educating the community and advance our rights across the country.

Kudos the Family Pride team, and to all of you who make our work possible!