guest post: creating my family through adoption
David on Aug 20th 2007
On May 13, 2007, I met the most important person in my life. On that day I met my son for the very first time. It was far away, in central Vietnam. He was just shy of five months old, I was just about to turn 31, and we were just about to become a family. On May 14, a traditional ceremony called the Giving and Receiving Ceremony was held, and according to Vietnamese law and tradition I became Parker’s Dad, and he my son. Two weeks later we returned to the USA. My time in Vietnam was magical, not only did I gain a wonderful son, but I got to experience an amazingly beautiful country and people.I adopted Parker An (‘An’ was his given Vietnamese name – now his middle name) after a process that took about nine months. That time was full of lots of waiting, very anxious waiting…for paperwork, approvals, for his placement with me, to travel, and finally to meet him and bring him home, back to NE Ohio, where we live. I had thought about having children for years, since high school at least, and later it was something I planned on once I settled down with a husband. It even entered the discussion with a couple of guys I dated. I ended up not waiting for the husband, and decided to adopt on my own.
It’s been a wonderful decision, and an amazing journey. I can’t imagine my life without Parker An. He just makes the entire world seem like a better place. I hope to adopt at least one more child, hopefully from Vietnam, again. I’m sure Parker would love a sibling, and I’d certainly like more kids.
My family has been amazingly supportive of me, and my decision. My parents are in love with Parker; he is the first grandson and gets doted on quite a bit! His three cousins adore him, and my friends have all been incredibly supportive and helpful.
Parker is just about to turn eight months old, and he’s grown so much in the time I’ve known him. He’s crawling, mimicking sounds and movements I make, beginning to eat food, and pulling himself up to stand. Watching him grow is a real joy. I am very lucky to have him.
I can’t encourage would-be parents to consider adoption enough. If you do the research and are prepared, it is an amazing, wonderful, and fulfilling thing to undertake. I am also a sperm donor to a lesbian couple, two of my best friends…and I considered surrogacy or some way of raising biological kids, as well. After having adopted Parker An, though, I no longer think of having biological kids as being any different from having a child who came into your family through adoption.
I really didn’t encounter any issues relating to being gay. Vietnam allows single persons or heterosexual married couples to adopt; since I’m single it wasn’t an issue. More of an issue was simply being a single man. Very few international adoption agencies will work with single men, and there are only a handful of countries that allow single men to adopt. As more single men (I know a few others) venture into adoption, perhaps that will change. You can visit our little family blog at www.CobaltDragon.com.
Filed in adoption, children, general |
