Family Pride’s Blog

(This post was written by Family Pride’s Executive Director, Jennifer Chrisler.)

Greetings, friends! I never thought I’d have the time on an r family cruise to blog, but this time around I’ve brought my entire staff along to more evenly divide up the work. It helps to have (paid) friends

For the last three cruises (this one included) Family Pride has provided all of the educational and advocacy programming on the boat. We know the r family cruises are so important to our families. We jumped at the chance to reach so many people with our tools and resouces to secure equality for all loving families. And we continue to ratchet up our programming from cruise to cruise. This summer’s cruise from New York to the r family private island and back has been fantastic so far. Here are some highlights:

We started the week off right with a full day of workshops on Sunday. At 9am in the Dazzles Lounge (that’s right, Dazzles), Dr. Kim Bergman, Family Pride Board Co-Chair and family creation expert, and Gail Taylor, President of Growing Generations, talked with prospective parents about the many ways we can create our families these days.

At 10am, I was proud to present on making schools safe and inclusive for our families with Dustin Kight, Program and Education Associate of Family Pride. Dustin and David Jacques, our eCommunications Coordinator, were instrumental in bringing the Rainbow Report Card to our families. We built our workshop on the same philosophy as the Report Card–that our schools will never truly be safe and inclusive of our families until LGBTQ parents get active, out and involved in their schools. It’s not an easy process, but one we believe in, and strive to provide our parents with as many resources, connections, ideas and thoughts on getting started. The 40+ people in the room seemed to enjoy the workshop, as we fielded their questions and guided them through their personal situations, just like the Rainbow Report Card does.

At 11am, we were happy to bring Mitchell Gold to the stage. You may know Mitchell for his classy furniture, provocative ads, and inspiring work around faith-based discrimination in America. (Mitchell founded the organization Faith in America.) Mitchell gave an inspiring presentation to a packed room, sharing his knowledge of marketing and social history to impart an interesting array of tools to combat the “but it’s against my religious beliefs” anti-LGBTQ arguments.

We had our first major event at 1pm–a panel discussion called “The Personal and Political,” with Debbie Novotny (I tell you no lies), Mitchell Gold, and former Massacusetts State Senator Jarrett Barrios. The point of the panel was to encouage your average LGBTQ parent or ally to get active for family equality in their daily lives. Debbie shared the perspectives of a PFLAG mom (and a couple of risque jokes, to boot!), while Mitchell told the story of how he started his factory and his organization in the sleepy (conservative) town of Taylorsville, NC. Jarrett, the first openly gay state representative in Massachuetts, was instrumental in winning marriage equality in his state and keeping it there with the recent Constitutional Convention. This was a win we know had more to do with average citizens telling their stories and changing hearts and minds than anything else.

More than 250 people felt the power of their words (including Rosie O’Donnell). Family Pride staff was on hand to deliver materials and resouces to attendees to further develop themselves as activists once the cruise (sadly) comes to an end.

That’s all I can give you now, though, as I have a Major Donor Appreciation Dinner to attend. it’s important to recognize those people in our community who have the resources and the willingness to fund the work of Family Pride at such high levels. If you’re inspired by the work we do, as well, consider becoming a major donor today.

More to come on the programming later! Cheers!

Well, I’m back from Key West–well-rested and rinsed of sunscreen! I wanted to finish telling the story of our trip down. Let’s start with the list of who was there (and by there I mean on the bus):

Jennifer Chrisler, Executive Director of Family Pride; her spouse, former Massachusetts State Senator Cheryl Jacques; their twins, Tim and Tom; Cheryl’s parents, Norman and Eleanor; Cheryl’s brother, Tom, and his friend, Brad; former Massachusetts State Senator Jarrett Barrios, his partner Doug, and their two sons; Family Pride staff members (Kent Peacock, A. Charlene Leach and I); Arielle Rosen, Family Services Manager from the LA Gay and Lesbian Center; a lesbian couple from Massachusetts, the names of which I can’t recall (don’t worry, they told me they’d forget my names, too); and a group of guys looking for a gay-friendly but not gay-crazy cruise (not everyone on the r family cruises is partnered with kids).

What a bunch! With all the political muscle on that bus you’d think we talked shop the whole way down. No, no–that bus left far too early in the morning for all that. As Arielle said to me, upon seeing me for the first time since February when I trained families through our OUTSpoken program at the LAGLC, “In case you didn’t know, this is a sleeping bus.”

Well, it wasn’t quite that, but we did keep conversation light. Until the tire blew, that is.

We all felt the tip and grind of the bus swaying over to the left, into traffic. Luckily, the bus driver kept things straight (so to speak). Tim, the more anxious of Jenn and Cheryl’s twins, yelled out from the back, “Slow down! Slow down! The tire’s GOONNEE! SLOWW DOWWWN!”

We pulled off at a Dunkin Donuts and waited for our rescue. It came in the form of a slightly smaller, duplicate bus, with literally just enough seats for the 21 of us. I called Sara Leckey, our Development Associate and, as I mentioned last time, my new roommate in Boston. She’d gone down to New York early to visit friends again (she does that a lot) and hadn’t had to get up at the crack of dawn like the rest of us, so I figured she deserved a little teasing.

I told her that our bus’s engine had blown, that we definitely weren’t making it to the cruise, and that she, alone, would have to board and manage our many days of programming. She didn’t believe me until Jenn grabbed the phone and took my lead, building the story up. Jenn, of course, speaks with more authority than I do, so when she started telling Sara the names of r family vacations staff members Sara would have to seek out once she got on the boat, Sara shifted gears–into panic mode.

Well, I got back the phone and told Sara I’d call her in a bit to give her an update. Right now we’re just hoping to get out of the Dunkin Donuts parking lot, I said. Fifteen minutes later I gave her a call and asked, “Hey, Sara, is there such a thing as a July Fool’s?”

We’re shoving off again so I’m going to go check it out. It’s always fun to feel the boat start to slip out of port, the horn’s shaking the deck. More to come on this story later–it’s not quite done!

(This entry was written by Kent Peacock, Office Manager for Family Pride)

The word of the day was sunscreen. Yesterday afternoon the Family Pride staff ventured off the boat into the beating sun of Key West, Florida. For those who don’t know me yet–let me explain that I am about as Nordic as they come (see photo here). I have blond, blond hair, blue eyes, very pale skin. So today was a day of application and re-application. I say this by way of introduction–not to put a damper on our day’s experience

We got off the boat to pride flags & banners, welcoming the ship and the r family vacations crowd. The citizens of Key West were happy to see us, as always. The staff headed over to Duval Street, stepping in and out of airconditioned shops for ice cream, key lime slushes, and gelato. We took Duval all the way down to the water and the southernmost tip of the United States (about a 30 minute trek in the blazing, blazing sun), just about 90 miles from Cuba.

For those who haven’t been to Key West, it is a place like no other: big, gorgeous old houses with wrap around porches, palm trees, pride flags everywhere, conch shells, and roaming chickens and roosters! It was great to be in a place that was so welcoming of our families.

But I have to say I’m glad to be out of the sun–for now. My teammates won’t let me stay inside, safe from the blinding rays. They don’t suffer lobster disease like I do–turning red after a minute too long out of shade.

Hey All,

As of 2pm EST today, we’re docked at the port in Key West and families are gearing up for an afternoon of LGBTQ-friendly fun in town. Some of the Family Pride staff and I are venturing off the boat, in part to do some work. It’s hard for us nonprofit people to be without a Kinkos for a day or two, so we scoped one out. Oh the joyous sounds of copy machines…

Luis, an avid commentor on the Family Pride Blog, has suggested that we post photos from the cruise as we update. That’s a fantastic idea and one that we’ve considered, but the trick is that the Internet connection on the cruise is a bit slow (you know, us being out at sea and all). It might take a lifetime to get pictures posted, so unless we hatch a master plan, we’re going to wait until the cruise is over and create a retrospective for you.

We have some great photos–ones I’m already planning to go up on my walls at home. I hope you’ll all check back to hear more about our trip down and the fun and educational work we’re doing on the cruise. It’s a full week, but we’re commited to taking time to let those of you not on the cruise what’s happening here. It’s a great community builder–the r family cruise. Each day we’re even more grateful for the strong relationship between r family vacations and Family Pride as we continue to partner to bring both advocacy and entertainment to our families!

Time to pack a bag for Key West. Talk to you later!

(This entry was posted by Lisa Bahr, former Program & Education Associate and current cruise volunteer!)

It’s sunny, it’s bittersweet, and it’s completely fantastic! This is my first cruise. I spent Day 1 navigating my way around this colossus of a boat. I started to feel a bit seasick, so I took some pill the front desk graciously provided. Day 2 I spent in a sleepy haze, the after-effect of the seasickness medication. I’m feeling better now, but it is a little unnerving being able to feel the boat rock back and forth.

Thank goodness that yesterday morning we came back to land and docked at Port Canaveral, near the space station! Dustin, Sara and I spent the early afternoon basking in the sun and splashing in the waves at Cocoa Beach. While there, I witnessed a teachable moment that reminded me once again how important it is that LGBTQ people share their personal stories with strangers.

A lesbian couple had parked their towels next to ours and behind a family of a mom, dad and three kids. Soon, the mom started chatting to the couple about her family. She joked, “Number three was a surprise. Trust me, you girls need to be careful. Unexpected pregnancy is rough!”

The couple glanced at each other, and one said, “The cost of getting pregnant is expensive for us.” Thus began a conversation between the two families about the expense of insemination and the hardships of being same-sex parents. Through sharing their story, the lesbian couple was able to enlighten and educate. Now, when that mom and dad go vote, it is going to be that couple on Cocoa Beach that is in the back of their minds.

Now we’re back at sea and heading for Key West. I know we’re all excited to get on shore again and explore. In the meantime, I’m going to go back to enjoying the morning sun and helping out wherever I can. In fact, I see Dustin across the way, waving me over. Duty calls.

There’s nothing like a week in which you pack up your whole life, move to a new city, open a new office, and ready yourself for your first cruise ever! Friday, June 29, the Family Pride staff taped up the last boxes in the DC office that needed to be shipped up to 41 Winter Street, our new digs in downtown Boston. And we opened those same boxes in our fourth floor office near Boston Common bright and early Monday morning!

Now we’re sitting pretty on the r family vacations summer 2007 cruise, but that’s getting ahead of the story. Here’s how we got through last week, and how we ended up where we are today:

Heading out Saturday morning, I drove up from DC to Boston in my car, with Sara Leckey, Development Associate at Family Pride, in tow. (Actually she was in the seat beside me, but I digress…) As any good Family Pride staffer would, Sara and I maximized the moving experience by taking the opportunity to stop off over night in Brooklyn and visit friends. She and I started working at Family Pride on the same day over a year ago (we like to call it our “workiversary”) and have grown quite close since then–thus it only made sense that we would move in together once we shifted from DC to Boston. By Tuesday night of last week, our apartment in nearby Somerville was mostly unpacked (if not a little bare). And the office–well that’s another story entirely.

As many of you know, we lost phone service in both DC and Boston when we opened the new office–a fluke of expansion. The same can be said for our Internet connection and–shh, don’t tell anyone–we had to steal wireless signals from our neighbors all last week just to get by. It’s like the nonprofit equivalent of roughing it while camping in the woods. But we knew there were only so many problems we could fix, printers we could set up, and photos of your families we could tack up on our walls; we had to prepare ourselves for the fastly approaching r family cruise!

Just a week after I left my house in DC for good, I woke up at the crack of down–literally, 5:30am–to drive around Boston picking up Family Pride staff members to deliver them to Jennifer Chrisler’s new home in Newton, MA. Jenn had arranged for a shuttle bus to take the staff and some lucky others to the port on New York City’s West Side. The drive is 4.5 hours long. We left promptly at 8am and needed to get there around 1pm. Danger, apparently, is our middle name.

It was a morning of intense hustle and bustle as we loaded everyone onto the bus. And $130 in parking tickets later (Somerville isn’t very forgiving of new residents without time to get their parking stickers), I was more than happy to leave my car in Jenn’s driveway, safe for a week from overzealous meter maids.

The bus ride was eventful, to say the least, especially since it almost cost us the cruise, but I can’t write about that now. We’ve got a late-night staff meeting planned and if I don’t run now I’ll be late. Check back tomorrow morning. I’ll finish this story soon!

I caught an article in TIME over the weekend titled “Gay Family Values.” The article points out that though the right has successfully passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage in 11 states, passing adoption bans by LGBTQ parents is a different story.

After winning constitutional amendments in 11 states to ban gay marriage in 2004, conservatives put gay adoption in their crosshairs last year–and misfired in every state they targeted. Since then, they have continued to suffer legislative defeats in states like Arkansas, which banned gay marriage in 2004 but earlier this year saw a bill to prohibit gay adoption die in committee. Only Florida denies gays and lesbians the right to adopt under any circumstances.

It’s an interesting and bizarre paradox. Ban gay marriage but allow gay adoption? What does this trend say about our movement and about the mindset of mainstream America?

The TIME article speculates that gay adoption may be less about gay rights and more about finding homes for children in need. It’s an “ends justify the means” argument that is particularly dangerous for our movement.

I don’t like the mentality of “well, 120,000 children need homes and there’s nowhere else to put them so I guess having a gay parent is better than nothing.”

It’s the motivation that matters to me. We should be motivated to protect LGBTQ families with the same rights as everyone else because it’s a matter of equality. Not just because children need homes. Even if there wasn’t a crisis in our foster care system - that even if every children had a home - we’d still be fighting for equal treatment and protection under the law for LGBTQ parented families.

I’d like to think that mainstream America is motivated by equality, but this strange paradox says otherwise. What do you think?

A Family Research Council study says that being gay reduces your lifespan by 24 years. According to the study, this alleged shortened life span is due to AIDS, drug use and poor driving. But it doesn’t stop there. Apparently, gays also contribute less to society. That’s because we bear children less frequently and drain the medical system due to AIDS and drug problems.

The study’s running commentary points out that disproportionate spending on AIDS and HIV research seems unfair because “no one has to… engage in homosexual sex.”

Is this some kind of tasteless joke? No. It’s note a joke, but it sure is tasteless. Perhaps the researchers should read up on the largely heterosexual AIDS epidemic in Africa.

The commentary also attacks LGBTQ parented families. Why? Gay parenting is a bad idea because gays don’t live as long. “‘Gay adoption’ is ill-advised since, on average, a homosexual couple aged 35 yr. would be about as close to demise as a man-woman couple aged 55 yr.”

Just when you think it can’t get worse, the study states: “…gay rights reduces the constitutional rights of assembly, free speech, and parental control of non-homosexuals.” Surprisingly, the authors couldn’t dream up any justification for this statement.

It’s not without surprise that this “study” was funded by the vehemently homophobic Family Research Council. I seriously doubt that legitimacy of the conclusion that gays live, on average, 24 years less than their non-gay counterparts. But even if LGBTQ individuals have a shorter lifespan, so what? That’s justification for making us second-class citizens? That’s reason to let the AIDS epidemics in this country and abroad spin out of control? Perhaps all the gays should be carted away to prison camps where our impact on society can be minimized. Or did history already teach us that lesson?

The level of hate that this group channels never ceases to amaze me. If you’re interested in reading the study for yourself, click here.

What do you make of all this?

I came across an interesting Washington Post op-ed published on July 5th regarding marriage equality and the hysteria that it seems to cause. It’s true; opponents warn of slippery slopes, crumbling intuitions and the inevitable erosion of society’s very fabric. The more ridiculous of marriage equality opponents caution that women will be marrying monkeys and men will be eloping with emus. But of course, none of that actually happens. As the Washington Post article points out, let’s look to Massachusetts to dispel these myths.

Marriage equality was legalized in Massachusetts back in 2004. And no, “the sky isn’t falling.” In fact, life goes on as normal for most folks. The difference is this: the inalienable rights of thousands of LGBTQ couples are now recognized legally.

Despite dire predictions, the institution of marriage didn’t crumble under the weight of homosexuals seeking the rights and responsibility that come with it. The sky didn’t fall in Massachusetts. Nor has it buckled in the District of Columbia and the five states that offer civil unions or domestic partnerships to gay couples. Washington state’s domestic partnership law goes into effect next month. Oregon’s domestic partnership law and New Hampshire’s civil unions take effect in January 2008. Acceptance of gay marriage is by no means widespread. Marriage is restricted to one man and one woman by constitutional amendment in 26 states and by state law in 19 others. But the tide is slowly changing. Opinion polls show growing acceptance of gay rights.

Indeed, slowly but surely, the opinion polls are changing. Heart by heart and mind by mind, we are ensuring that this movement will be victorious.

Progressive movements always win. We can look back at women’s suffrage, civil rights, disability rights, etc., and a common thread emerges. Progress always wins. Because these movements are rooted in power and truth, there is no force strong enough to hold them back.

We may be out numbered and grossly out funded, but because equality is in inalienable truth rooted in our existence as a human being, we are unstoppable.

As many of you know, the Family Pride team will be providing the dynamic workshops, programs and speakers for the passengers on this summer’s Rosie Cruise (July 7-14). In addition, our team will be blogging live from the ship to share our experience with everyone back home! So stay tuned for updates!

The trip stirred controversy a few months back when the itinerary was re-routed from Bermuda to Florida in order to avoid the island’s protestors - a decision that Family Pride supports.

Our team looks forward to seeing many of you aboard the cruise, and is excited to bring the experience to everyone back home on the mainland.