does the right hate single parents, too?
David on Jul 3rd 2007
I read a recent post on Pam’s House Blend about the Manford-Roach Family’s appearance on CNN. She did a great job and raised a few interesting points. The CNN article quotes Dr. James Dobson in a statement he released about Mary Cheney’s pregnancy.
The two most loving women in the world cannot provide a daddy for a little boy—any more than the two most loving men can be complete role models for a little girl.
Pam notes that this statement slams not only gay parents, but single parents as well. According to the 2000 census, of the 34.6 million households with children under the age of 18, 28% are being headed by a single parent. That’s more than 1 in 4 parents.
Of course, this isn’t a numbers game. It doesn’t matter if Dobson discriminates against 100 million people or against 1 person. We all have heard the now cliché quote that “an injustice to one is an injustice to all.” But when you lash out against some 10 million people (and their families), it tends to get a lot more attention.
And Dobson’s statement that boys need dads and girls need moms is in stark contrast to the more than 30 years of social science research on the subject. Despite what Dobson would like the world to believe, that social science research supports parenting by LGBTQ individuals. Being gay or straight doesn’t impact your ability to parent. In fact, Dobson’s continued distortion of this research is angering many of researchers he quotes.
Dobson and his organization, Focus on the Family, are charged with strengthening and defending families. Ironic, isn’t it?
Filed in children, dobson, general, mary cheney, research |
If readers are interested in an excellent academic book about single parenting that IMHO also sheds light on same-sex parenting and other changes in the American family, I recommend Rosanna Hertz’ Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice, which I reviewed on Mombian last fall.
Hello, I stumbled upon you article, found it interesting and would like to respond. Using words like “slams” or “lashing out” and the favorite “hate”are very sensational and misplaced. Seriously, what he said is a fact and no matter what skewed information you have….a man is incapable of providing the same type of parenting that a woman provides and vice versa. He is not “slamming” single parents…why do you have to write so scornfully? I was raised by a single mother and I had to help extensively with my two younger brothers, so much so that it effected my school work and my social life.
By the time my mother met a great man I was almost in high school and had no interest in listening to him or other authority for that matter. Now being an adult with 3 kids of my own, I found it hard to relate to my son on a father son level. This being the direct consequence of not having a father growing while up. He is 12 now and we have a great relationship, but it took a long time to cultivate. I am absolutely certain that my children would not be the same and are obviously much better off with a father and mother. My wife and I compliment each other the way we were made to. I have friends that are single parents and they are not bad parents, but the children do lack well roundedness and in some cases have a lack of respect for authority and they’re mother that having both parents will provide.
Of course.
Being a tolerant crowd, why do you think it so wrong for James Dobson to speak on this subject the way he does? Is he not qualified? I went to the “angering many researchers” article and not one of the Dr’s denies saying what Dobson said they said. Of course these people have an agenda and did not like being quoted by someone whos disagrees with them. Thats very obvious. Also there a lot of “sexual” adds on that page. To be taken seriously dont you think that there should be a move to clean up the sites that cater to the GLBT community? I mean it sure does validate the stereotype, does’nt it?
I am not against you or this blog. I support your right to express your opinion and would thinkl that you would allow the christian community to do the same. Thank you.
“Lack of respect for authority and they’re mother that
having both parents will provide….”
I didn’t realize that having 2 parent taught respect. So that is the KEY i have been missing… Forgive me I thought respect was instilled by good parenting, morality and raising a child up correctly –whether it be with one or two parents.
So in your scenario ONLY people raised in two-parent (man andwoman) homes have a chance of raising “well rounded young men or women?”
Ok why don’t you talk to Barrack Obama who was a young man was raised by grandparents — not a mother and father (but of course a man and woman so I am sure you will latch on that as being the deciding factor).
But there are countless other successful children of a solo parent families and alterantive families. But not in your acknowledgement apparently?? Hmmmmm….
The point is yes, in a perfect world children would have both mother and father and the happily ever Donna Reed, Leave it Beaver style home where the man and woman so “compliment” each other as in you “perfect marriage” but the world is not perfect and it’s diverse and maybe we should be glad for that.
There are a lot of different types of families out there.
As a child of a single parent I can sense you have a lot of resentment with the way you grew up. I am sorry about that. . I would think it would make you more committed to marriage and parenting. However, you oddly state you had lack of parenting skills from being raised by a single Mom. I have never heard that before and it’s strange.
In fact most kids of single parents are much more responsbile and mature than their peers and also less SPOILED because they often live on limited means and so learn the value of things and dont necessarily expect everything handed to them on silver platter. They learn the value of work. At least in good single parent families.
Everything in balance. A single mom must learn to have kids help out and take on some resonpsibility but also allow kids to have a childhood and achieve academically which is most important for the child’s future.
Apparently your mother did not do that but that does not mean it’s the same in all siggle parent families or in alternative families.
You are taking your own personal experience and biasies and superimposing them on ALL families of simliar make up.
Oh and by the way I am a part of the Chrsitian Community! I have nothing against Mr. Dobson and in fact enjoy some his radio shows and books. But I don’t agree with attacking certain groups of people in the name of Christianity, and check your bible neither would Jesus… My brand of Christianity doesn’t involved cutting down others or making myself out to be better than others because I happen to be blessed with a marriage or some other gift.
As for your problems with your son. Excuse me if you wish to blame inadequacy in your parenting on being raised without a father by all means go for it — good scape goat. I am sure there were areas of parenting that were difficult due to not having good role models, however, there are vast number of men raised without fathers (how about those with fathers overseas or fathers who are deceased) and they somehow manage to go on and parent quite well. So you are saying boys raised without father are also doomed to be inadaquate parents — I say hogwash… !
Sure it would be great to have dads always involved but God does have a way of creating whole and healthy people in all kinds of circumstacnes. Why not believe in the miracles he can provide instead of trashing those who are different than yourself.
Fact: Successful parenting CAN and IS done in LGBTQ individuals and by single parents.
Don’t cast your struggles on to everyone else.
My sons are wonderful with kids and great young men raised in a Godly home, and I expect they will make WONDERFUL husbands and fathers. But they also have learned to respect diversitya nd love PEOPLE - not just married Chrisitian people… Thank you very much
an irate single Mom and Christian