a growing trend: conservative states support gay parenting?
David on Jul 9th 2007
I caught an article in TIME over the weekend titled “Gay Family Values.” The article points out that though the right has successfully passed constitutional amendments banning gay marriage in 11 states, passing adoption bans by LGBTQ parents is a different story.
After winning constitutional amendments in 11 states to ban gay marriage in 2004, conservatives put gay adoption in their crosshairs last year–and misfired in every state they targeted. Since then, they have continued to suffer legislative defeats in states like Arkansas, which banned gay marriage in 2004 but earlier this year saw a bill to prohibit gay adoption die in committee. Only Florida denies gays and lesbians the right to adopt under any circumstances.
It’s an interesting and bizarre paradox. Ban gay marriage but allow gay adoption? What does this trend say about our movement and about the mindset of mainstream America?
The TIME article speculates that gay adoption may be less about gay rights and more about finding homes for children in need. It’s an “ends justify the means” argument that is particularly dangerous for our movement.
I don’t like the mentality of “well, 120,000 children need homes and there’s nowhere else to put them so I guess having a gay parent is better than nothing.”
It’s the motivation that matters to me. We should be motivated to protect LGBTQ families with the same rights as everyone else because it’s a matter of equality. Not just because children need homes. Even if there wasn’t a crisis in our foster care system - that even if every children had a home - we’d still be fighting for equal treatment and protection under the law for LGBTQ parented families.
I’d like to think that mainstream America is motivated by equality, but this strange paradox says otherwise. What do you think?
Filed in adoption, children, general |
I go back and forth with a conservative woman on another Forum.
When the topic was gay adoption, she came in and said she’d changed her mind about adoption from con to pro and was now rethinking all of her previously held convictions.
You’re probably right about the majority but for others it may be a baby step in the right direction.
Interesting. What forum?
Up until recently it was called Blogging Baby. Now it’s Parent Dish. It’s where I first ran across Dana of Mombian and two male gay adoptive parents from San Francisco (who also have blogs).
It’s a good cross section of opinions except when the trolls take over.
The woman isn’t a hateful troll; just a product I suppose of her upbringing, etc. She’s intelligent and she has that saving grace, a sense of humor. The liberal (me) and the conservative (her) have found a lot of common ground.
I was so encouraged to read that comment.
I know it’s harder from the perspective of a GLBT person but sometimes change does come in increments. And sometimes if we wait for the purest of motives, we’ll wait forever.
It’s a good thing for children to have loving homes and it’s a good thing for couples who desperately want children to be able to have them. While I agree that it might be insulting to be considered a dumping ground for kids, still it’s a start.
People fear what they don’t know. As people see for themselves that GLBT families are like any other, perceptions will change in all but the most intransigent. But first the families have to be there.
Meantime, we keep working on marriage in all the states but I think most importantly we work to repeal Federal DOMA or all the state laws in the world won’t help.
Am I making any sense at all? We want the same thing but I’ve never been in your shoes. I can be supportive but I’ll never feel the same pain.
Yes, I understand what you are saying. I agree that visibility fundamentally changes the way people view LGBTQ families — once they see and meet these beautiful families, their opinions always change. Once the fear is lifted, they understand that ALL families are bonded by one thing: love.
Hopefully, friendlier adoption laws will kindle the kind of visibility that these families need.
Thanks David. I was trying to present another view and I’m glad you understood that.
“It’s a good thing for children to have loving homes and it’s a good thing for couples who desperately want children to be able to have them. While I agree that it might be insulting to be considered a dumping ground for kids, still it’s a start.
People fear what they don’t know. As people see for themselves that GLBT families are like any other, perceptions will change in all but the most intransigent.”
Way to say it ann. It’s definitely wise and prudent for David to watch the motive as well as the action. Thanks Dave for making the tough thought processes. Motives are important to watch.
At the same time, as I agreed with Ann, I think this movement, regardless of the motive, will have positive effects in terms of enhancing visibility of gay families. Families with same-sex (and hopefully trans-sex) parents will now become an increasing norm. More and more people will have to deal with the fact that the family down the steet from your own, is Mommy and Ma, Daddy and Pop. Shaking hands, saying hi. Watching the small ones go biking and playing chalk, procrastinating homework (lol) It’s now an everyone affair, and gay parents are in that everyone.
I’ll leave it to the Dads and Moms to decide when politics should be the conversation topic….
Gulp, he he
Oh David I just saw your praise of Ann. I appreciate you praising her.