the truth about straight privilege
Lisa on Jun 14th 2007
A few weeks ago, Dustin wrote about what it really means to be an ally. In that entry, he hit on a really important point: friends are not synonymous with allies. A friend is someone who says they support your fight for marriage equality; an ally goes to your senator’s office with you. One of the ways to make friends realize the importance of being allies is making sure they recognize not only the discrimination LGBTQ people face, but also are aware of the privilege that comes with being (or being perceived as) straight.
As a straight ally, I understand that I’m afforded privileges that LGBTQ people aren’t. In fact, I can pretty much guarantee that:
- I can be affectionate with my significant other in public without fear of violence.
- My sexual orientation will be represented in TV shows, books, magazines, and music.
- I won’t be excluded from any religious community for being heterosexual.
- Nobody will ask me to defend my heterosexuality.
- I can find sexual education literature for my sexual orientation.
- My orientation is represented in my local, state, and national representatives.
- If I need legal help, I won’t be discriminated against because I’m straight.
- None of my family will disown me because of my orientation.
- I don’t have to fear emotional, psychological, economical, or physical abuse from family or friends who find out I’m straight.
- I can easily find a doctor or therapist willing to talk openly about my sexuality.
- Nobody will use my sexual orientation as a slur against me.
- I can be open about being straight without fear of losing my job.
- I won’t be accused of being abused or an abuser because of my orientation.
- I don’t have to be afraid to be myself.
Not to mention the 1,138 federal right and privileges I will get, should I choose to marry whomever I please. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. White privilege, male privilege, even Christian privilege are constant in our society. There are overlaps, there are intersections, and there are so many layers to the topic of privilege that I can’t do it justice in one blog post. I encourage all of you to start a conversation in the comments.
As a straight person, I recognize that I will never completely understand what it’s like to be LGBTQ. That doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person. It just means that as long as there’s a problem, I am part of that problem unless I actively work for a solution.
Filed in general |
Excellent blog post! Hopefully this will get picked up by the non-gay blogs as well. That’s really where this exposure is needed.
You’ve hit on all the major privileges that many, if not all, straight men and women take for granted. When they go to a church or a court house to get married, how many of them even realize that they are instantaneously getting so many rights and privileges just by being opposite sex and signing on the dotted line?
As a gay man who has been in a loving, caring, monogamous, same sex relationship for almost eleven years, it’s more than aggravating to us that so many people in our society just don’t get it.
Or even worse, are those that do get it and refuse to allow “us” to participate in society on equal “legal” footing.
It is all about rights. Civil rights!
“ACTIVELY work”. That is a phrase worth remembering everyday.
Luis-
Not all! There’s lots of us straight people who are proactively aware of our privilege. It’s everyone’s job to make sure that more people are not only aware of it, but also know what they can actively be doing to create a truly equal world. One good way to start is to encourage all of your friends-soon-to-be-allies to join our eNews and check out our “52 Ways” on the publications page of our website.
[…] week, I got to touch a little bit on straight privilege. This past weekend, I had an experience that reminded me, yet again, why it is so important that we […]
HI Lisa,
You are definately right about straight people having privliges, I actually was straight and married to a man for 13yrs and never realized how much I took my rights for granted. Now as a openly gay mom, I will fight to make sure everyone has the same rights, that it is equal….I am appauled that people have such an issue with being straight or gay….for me it is about love, but until I fell in love with a woman, and as some people say “crossed over” I never realized how rude people could be…..
Ralph…
Good job. I will certainly file this away for future reference.
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