Family Pride’s Blog

It all started when my coworker, Lisa, sent me a link to a website that rated our blog as “R” and advised children under 17 to be accompanied with a parent or guardian while viewing. The reason? We use words like gay and lesbian.

And we advise strong and sarcastic caution when reading Mombian’s blog; hers is rated NC-17 due to the use of dyke.

Though the website’s rating system is meant to be humorous (and should be taken with a grain of salt), it does speak to the power of words. Specifically, words that relate to sexuality.

On one hand, I acknowledge that words like fag and dyke shouldn’t be used as insults and adjectives (i.e., that shirt is so gay). But, on the other hand, there can be power in the reclamation of words. When we give a new meaning to an oppressive word, we take power from the oppressor and place it in our hands. Because I am gay, I get to take back that power.

It’s a controversial subject, but words like dyke and fag can’t be taken at face value; they must be taken in context. Who’s saying it and how it’s said determines what it means and whether or not it’s appropriate.

Of course, I don’t expect a blog rating system meant as a joke to take these considerations into account. In fact, with the number of times we use dyke and fag in this post, I suspect we’ll be branded with at least an “X” rating. But I do expect schools, institutions, businesses, organizations and everyday people to understand the power of these words and what they mean to some LGBTQ people.

Congratulations to the Manford-Roach family for sharing their family story with America on CNN. Ken Manford is co-chair of Family Pride’s Board of Directors, an active member of OUTSpoken and an inspiration to our staff and LGBTQ parented families across this country.

The article highlights the decision of Ken and his partner, Jeffery Roach, to adopt their son, Jackson, from Guatemala in 2001. It also discusses the legal and prejudicial barriers that LGBTQ couples face when starting families citing stats and laws from various states.

According to the article and a 2006 Pew Research Center poll, in the last seven years alone, support of gay and lesbian adoption has increased from 38% to 46% in America. What does that mean for us? It means that we’re making great headway, but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Research has also shown that when non-LGBTQ individuals know three or more LGBTQ individuals personally, they are more likely to support family equality. When Rosie O’Donnell came out, she famously stated: “I don’t think American knows what a gay parent looks like.”

Well, that is changing as LGBTQ parents like Ken and Jeffery step up to the plate, come out and speak out, thereby educating their communities about the discrimination families like theirs face. It makes things personal and it changes hearts and minds.

I encourage you to check out the CNN article and to watch the slideshow.

One year ago today, I stepped into the Family Pride office for the first time as a member of the FP team. A lot has happened in the past 365 days. In addition to traveling around the country training our OUTSpoken families and all the other work that goes into our programming, I have put on skits and dances, rocked crying babies to sleep, hauled 40 lbs of equipment around an airport for 14 hours, almost suffocated in a deflating bouncy-house after a power failure, got lost for two hours in the chaos of Detroit, worked 13 hour days in 100+ degree heat for ten days straight (aka, Family Week!), and made lifelong friendships with my co-workers (not to mention countless frustrations with our printer, which always seems to be low on toner). Most importantly though, I got to meet your amazing families and witness firsthand that Family Pride’s message is not empty rhetoric, that love really is what makes a family. Continue Reading »

The Family Pride monthly eNewsletter keeps you in the loop when it comes to the family equality movement, event registrations and all the information that you need to know. Plus, by joining our eNews, we’ll send you region specific action alerts as they happen. Don’t miss out! Click here to join our eNews!

Safe and inclusive schools are always on our minds. Just last week, we released the Rainbow Report Card to work towards that ideal. It’s ironic that just one day after its official release, a news story broke that a high school in New Jersey blacked out a picture of two male students kissing in every copy of the school’s year book, deeming it “inappropriate.”

But the story doesn’t end there.

Advocates in New Jersey and across the country were quick to respond. Garden State Equality issued an action alert rallying up the troops. The story quickly made national headlines. Not only was the school’s action marginalizing, it was illegal. In New Jersey, it’s illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation, gender identity or gender expression.

The school released a statement of apology and announced that the year book would be reissued (and the picture unmarked).

This situation speaks to the power of our community and our ability to speak up, step up and right a wrong. Our schools should safe and inclusive, with curriculums supportive of equality and freedom rather than discrimination and censorship.

We are pleased to bring you this guest blog by Jim Johnson. Jim blogs at Straight, Not Narrow, where he advocates for GLBT equality in politics and the church.

If I hear one more right-wing zealot prattle on about “preserving the traditional family” I’m going to puke. Back in October, 2004, I learned once and for all what the word family meant, and it didn’t resemble the “traditional” model that some people believe is the anchor of our society.

My wife Bette passed away suddenly on October 11, 2004.  It was at that time, the lowest point of my life, that two gay men showed me what being family was truly about.

One of those gay men was my half-brother Michael. Our mother had worked very hard to keep us apart growing up, and it was not until her death in 1992 that we began to establish a loving adult relationship and started learning how to be brothers. Continue Reading »

Today, a study from the Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy at the UCLA School of Law reports that another decade of research points clearly to employment discrimination against the LGBTQ community.

According to a press release regarding the study:

15% to 43% of lesbian, gay, or bisexual (LGB) respondents surveyed since the mid-1990s reported experiencing employment discrimination based on sexual orientation. These numbers are remarkably
similar to conclusions from a survey of studies conducted in 1992, which found that 16% to 68% of LGB respondents reported experiencing employment discrimination at some point in their lives.

The transgender community is also facing workplace discrimination:

Transgender individuals reported similar levels of discrimination, with 20% to 57% of transgender respondents experiencing employment discrimination based on their gender identity at some point in their life.

The study also reveals that gay men make 10%-32% less than their straight counterparts. Regardless of sexual orientation, women across the board make less than men. There has been no detailed wage income analysis of the transgender popular.

LGBTQ parents must pay special attention to employment discrimination and workplace policies. It’s important to secure such things as paternity and adoption leave. Explore five ways to make your workplace more inclusive.

With just one month until Provincetown Family Week, we have an exciting announcement! Family Pride will be live blogging from the shores of Provincetown throughout the week. If you’ll be attending Family Week, this will be a great opportunity for your friends and family back home to follow along on this transformative vacation. Or, if you’re unable to make it to Provincetown, you can participate in Family Week digitally through the live blogging event.

In many ways, this live blogging initiative will make Family Week a national event by including and connecting our families, friends and allies from coast to coast.

Who will be authoring the posts? We’ll be including as many voices as possible, including our entire staff and the friends we meet along the way. We’ll also be sharing pictures though our blog all week long.

If you’re a blogger or prospective blogger, you won’t want to miss our Blogging Workshop with Dana Rudolph from Mombian.com on July 29. Details coming soon! We can’t wait to see you at Family Week - whether it is in person or online!

Last week, I got to touch a little bit on straight privilege. This past weekend, I had an experience that reminded me, yet again, why it is so important that we ALL take action when we see injustice, no matter how big or small it may be.

A friend of mine is a huge Detroit Tigers fan, and on Sunday, we drove to Philadelphia to catch the Tigers play the Phillies. One of the most amusing parts of baseball games is the various “cams” they have on the Jumbotron… you know, the dance cam, the wave-your-hats cam, and the kiss cam. Fun, right? Except this time, when the Phillies “kiss cam,” after showing various (straight) couples smooching, zoomed in on two men and the crowd erupted into laughter. I was not amused, and told the Phillies public relations office myself in a letter:

I’m writing to express my disappointment about an incident that occurred on Sunday, June 17, at the game against the Tigers.  The “kiss cam” that’s used to entertain fans is supposed to be a lighthearted, fun moment for the crowd to enjoy. On Sunday, your kiss cam (after a few minutes of showing lovely couples pecking) zoomed in on two men standing next to each other, and the crowd erupted in laughter. “Why is that funny?” I wondered to myself. What if they DID kiss? Would it still be funny? Would their love still be a joke, not recognized as the same commitment as any of the other couples your kiss cam featured? Or would the crowd be so stunned that *gasp* some men kiss men that the stadium would’ve been silent? But instead, your kiss cam operator thought it would be amusing to mock gay people (a group that has it hard enough without being ridiculed during a national pastime). I am very disappointed that your stadium would condone such behavior from its employees.

I would’ve reveled in delight, had the cameraperson actually tried to be inclusive of gays and lesbians, and those two men had kissed. Instead, families like mine are a laughingstock at your stadium. I don’t think it’s funny, and I won’t be attending any more Phillies games (and I’m glad the Tigers won).

Regards,
Lisa Bahr

Now, I realize that the Phillies “kiss cam” is not the biggest threat to equality. But it’s little pieces like this that add up to the big puzzle. That email took me three minutes to write, and now someone at the Phillies is going to think twice about how to be inclusive of our families. It is absolutely vital that every single one of us takes action when we feel unsafe or threatened; the only thing that’s going to change this country is changing hearts and minds of the people in it.

Yesterday’s guest blog from Sara Whitman sounds like an oddly familiar story - traffic jams, long distance, kids in the back and their unending fascination with poop and pee (always a favorite). But, what stood out for me was the comment about driving a Volvo wagon. Volvo has been a long time supporter of LGBTQ families and committed to the work of Family Pride. While Sara’s joke about all lesbians driving Volvos was funny, it is a reminder that our community is loyal to those companies that support our issues and our organizations.    

So, we are looking for your help so that we can show Volvo that our community supports companies that support us.  

As Sara’s blog mentioned, we have many a Volvo driving around in our community and we would love to send Volvo pictures and stories of our members with their Volvos - old, new, family vehicles, buses, Volvos in all of their forms! If you own a Volvo or have friends or family members that do, please send us photos of families, friends and allies with their Volvos. Send along a story as well - of a road trip, general experience, family time in the car!  We want to be visible and thank Volvo for their support!  We will be sending Volvo all of the photos and stories we receive.  And, in exchange for your effort, we’ll send you a free Family Pride t-shirt just for participating!

Please send any photos or stories to David at david.jacques@familypride.org.  We look forward to seeing your faces and reading your road tales. Be sure to include your name and address so we can send you a t-shirt.