Barbara Walters interviews transgender children
David on Apr 23rd 2007
Our friends at TransKids Purple Rainbow, a national advocacy organization for transgender children, gave us a heads up about an exciting project that they have been working on with Barbara Walters and ABC News.
TransKids Purple Rainbow stated:
We hope to reach out to others who are in pain and have no where else to turn for help. We also hope to educate those who can’t imagine how a little child could actually express that he or she was born trapped in the wrong body.
The show will air on Friday, April 27th on ABC at 10:00PM but check local listings.
Filed in action, children, general |
Thank you for bringing this subject out with a mainstream, well-known interviewer. We participated in the HBO documentary “Middlesexes”, but few of the folks in the midwest subscribe to premium cable. Getting and keeping the conversation going on these subjects amongst ALL of society is so important. Thanks to you again, and to Barbara Walters and ABC.
Thank You for letting the kids know its ok to feel different and to let them know they are’nt alone out there…..
It would of been a big help for many of Us “TG” to known where to go for help and understanding without trying to “FIT” in to the “NORM”
Thank you Barbara Walters and ABC.
Barbara; Do you have specialists from the American Psychoanalytic Association speaking? You need this perspective. I would not know who is respected in your field, and who just makes a splash.
You do not know such similar fundamentals in the field of psychological development. Please look further.
Thank you,
Sharon Muhlenkort
Barbara, thank you for doing this for these special children! I knew that when I was six years old I was in the wrong body. Now I am a 42 year old adult and struggling just to live my life! God save the children.
I wish I could speak for my cat Mack
He is a hermaphrodite and one of the few I have found online that has had kittens…
If Mack could talk
he would tell you ..
he is happy being a mother and a father..you can see his labour on youtube at Suedeuce I have posted some shots of the proud..MA PA
…
When I told my vetmmm he told me that they existed but most are neutered and spayed for they had complicated births and generally died without a csection…
Mack did have a difficult labour and had difficulties nursing and it was lucky his girlfriend had kittens a week later so she was able to help and teach him alot…
the kittens are now a month old..mack nurses his kittens and his girlfriend Miyas…
When I adopted Mack and Miya ,,,I knew they were special as I named them after the strongest man in the world Mack Miya…
so I can say that Mack is a happy man and a happy woman and if you asked him what sex he was..he would just say Im a cat…
and Im special cause I can make and have babies.
I thought Mack was special because of his unique markings on the outside but now I really know he is special because of whats inside…
a big loving heart that is always there as my friend and I could care less if he was a guy or a girl..hes just a great cat..
so for all those humans like Mack that feel different…here are .some words from Mack Miya who at could lift 300 lbs with one arm until his 50s.and was only 5ft8…thats unique..he always said..”if it doesnt kill you…it will make you stronger…”
So Mack is beautiful and his unique kittens are ready for adoption so if there is a hermaphrodite child who would like a unique cat..well his kittens are very special and meant for special people.
What an informative program this was. I just watched the 20/20 program addressing transgender “phobics”, and the children who were/are suffering within their own bodies they do not feel their own.
These chilldren and young adults, I say Praise to for being who they are, you know your own body is what I tell everyone I know.
Stay strong everyone, not all the world is as cruel as you may think. Love yourself, love your family, and love LIFE.
Stay strong!
Nancie1186@optonline.net
Sharon,
English please. Exactly what are you trying to say with you verbiage? Are you trying to impress others, or yourself?
What is your field?
We all need to Learn, Love and Accept everyone on our desperate planet. After all, who are we to judge? Every child on Earth should grow up happy and healthy, that’s ALL that should matter.
God Bless these children!!! I hope that everyone can find happeness.
Great job Barbara
I have a definite problem with the entire show. It appeared to glorify children who “believe” they are another sex. I have done some research since the airing and have found that these “special” kids are nothing more than young transvestites or cross-dressers. And the parents…they seem to believe that they are enlightened due to the fact that they aid their children’s fantasies even so far as to give them hormones. What the h*ll is wrong with this world, parents and kids. Boys are boys and girls are girls and if they want to be another sex then they are homosexual.
Boo Boo, Your a very sad person..Get help.
I don’t feel that this could be considered a birth defect. God doesn’t makes mistakes. Maybe these children have a hormone imbalance. Biological boys need more testosterone if they are feeling a little girly. Same with biological girls, they can nurture their female side and take estrogens. I feel that alot of homosexuals may just have a chemical and hormonal imbalance. There is alot of confusion about this. I would just have to pray about it. I will be praying for all these children and what they are dealing with.
I am not going to speak for everyone but some of you are part of the childrens problem people just like you.NO they are not TRANSVESTITE KIDS and YES there are mistakes of birth .There are children with birth defects all the time .What would you call it when a child had a penus and a vajj ??????? Oh everyone should have one of each.It’s a birth defect and I believe that it is possible to
be born in the wrong body.I also believe gay people don’t just spring up like flowers in a garden.You either are or you ain’t and no one can make you what you are not.It’s in the genes ,chromosomes
It’s the genetic makeup and I do not believe gays can turn straight.They can fight it and maybe try the striaght life but you can’t make a turnip a watermelon
As the parent of a transgendered child who elected two months ago to end her life rather than continue with the abuse and embarresment from a “whollier-than-thou” self righteous “Christian” society, I was profoundly moved by Ms. Walters documentary. Ms. Walters captured the essence of the excrutiating pain that not only befalls the parent, but more importantly, the child. And to you God freaks, who think that God dosen’t make mistakes, ór believes an extra shot of éstrogen or testrotrogen will make it “ÖK”, to you I say, there is a special place in Hell reserved for people like you. I have lived through a nightmare beyond anything you could imagine. I have lost my daughter. I don’t need your religious biased judgements dictating how my daughter or her parents were sinners.
god don’t make mistakes people
i do believe that people are predisposed to a sexual orientation from birth
i work with kids and i see it sometimes
also you see tomboys and femine boys too
check this out a boy grows up, no male role model is present
he is raised by his six aunts and 5 grandmothers and he has 8 sisters
all he sees is females so he acts accordingly to fit in(feminine)
same with a girl raised by dad no mother present has eight brothers
shes going adjust (tomboy) shes going to do reject girl stuff shes gonna climb trees and fight
i think the parents perpetuate this whole thing doctors too
when i grew up (80’s) there was no syndrome/ no disorder
if your son comes to you and says mommy im a girl what do you do
secretly behind dad back go buy him a lace nighty, no you sit down
and tell him what god gave you he gave you god don’t make mistakes kiddo, all the hormones in the world are not ,going to stop people from
calling him/her freak
and its worse if he/ she went through 4 grades at a school as a boy then
in the fifth grade becomes susan
your setting up this child to become another suicide\colombine shooting case cause kids in school are mean as hell
what kind of kids are we turning out in society
the whole thing is crazy if god gave you a penis guess what you are,
guess what you aint
and when he/she grows up he/she will be gay because you told him its ok to be a girl, so hes gonna like men and have a penis or have it cut off
but still will be a man
did you see that special on 20/20
we should teach our children to be happy with who they are fat/ skinny
gay/ straight what ever, not to try as hard as you can to be an odd ball
wooo weee we living in a modern day sodom and gohmorrah
people doing just doing anything
get in church people get…… in …..chuch
I am one of those children of long ago…who survived…My family loves me and I love me….I am who I am.
To the parents of these children…..Love them with all your might for they will surely suffer a great deal of hardship,validate their existence.
The program that Ms Walters brought to the forefront this evening brought back searing memories of long ago and my heart goes out to the parents who are facing the long road of seeing their child tormented/beat up/ridiculed by bigoted uneducated people.
It’s not our place as humans to judge. God loves all and he is the ultimate judge. Whether we think transgender is right or wrong, it’s not our place to make judgements. Christians who make judgments and criticize are not accurate representatives of Christ’s love. For those of you who have had bad experiences with “judging Christians” I ask that you not judge Christ by their behavior alone. Its disgusting that those who would claim to be Christians condemn and ridicule others. Oh, and just in case you missed the lesson in Sunday School, love others as you would love yourself.
The Special by Barbara Walters was very informative and helpful to parents struggling to raise TG children.
ABC, Thank you for devoting your resources to highlighting the struggle of TG children and their families.
if your child is a boy(penis) you must tell him
you are a boy, not go buying no dresses
if your child is a girl( vagina) tell her she is a girl
talk to your children thats when you buy dresses
don’t let them just sit there confused talk to them about
sexuality and feelings too.
the saddest thing i ever saw that little boy on
20/20 jumping around in a one piece bathing suit
happy as a hog ,his little you know what poking up in the front of his suit
it just was so crazy looking too me
I believe that knowledge is power. The information provided in Barbara Walter’s report on the issue of transgendered children was insightful and finally puts this sensitive issue into popular discussion. As a student of San Francisco State University (research institution cited in Walter’s report) and a gay male, I am well acquainted with the discussion surrounding gender and sexual identity. Walter’s report highlights an important but incomplete analysis of gender identity, orientation or persuasion. I have followed the evolution of popular discussion in various media (i.e. TV, newsprint, movies, blog) of GLBT issues for the last 5 years. The issue of gender identity is not confined to transgendered individuals. Gender identity is coupled with sexual orientation on some level however I would argue (as does a large body of peer-reviewed psychological research) that in certain individuals these lines are blurred and crossed.
I self-identify as homosexual and have no qualms about expressing my orientation to anyone, however, I perceive myself and am perceived by most others to be a masculine male. Some of my gay friends even say that I am hiding my inner “girl.” However, I think that it is perfectly reasonable to be masculine, feminine, or both (or neither) regardless of sexual orientation. Essentially, I agree with the body of scientific research that for the most part argues that it is perfectly healthy to blur the lines of gender and sex, and that it is the oppressiveness of an intolerant society that causes deconstructive manifestations of sexual identity disorder. If you read and comprehend the diagnostic information in the DSM IV for Sexual Identity Disorder then this is also apparent, which is why this DSM classification should not stand. The classification for homosexuality as a psychological disorder was removed long ago because it was found that there were no negative manifestations of same-sex behavior except when acted out in society. Nonetheless, perhaps as transgendered individuals are more public about who they are then sexual identity disorder will also be removed. (read more http://www.priory.com/psych/disparat.htm). In reading the diagnostic criteria for GID it is obvious that the negative effects (which are a requirement for the definition of disorder) manifest themselves only when the transgendered or gender-”confused” are ridiculed for their behavior.
Bottom line: when it comes to gender, sex, masculine, feminine, sexual orientation the lines society draws for what is “acceptable” can never change who someone is or aspires to be. I believe that no good can come from confining children, adolescents or adults from exploring and hopefully finding who they are. Nurture and nature are only classifications of pathways to who we are, nurture and nature do not define lines of what is good or bad. The next time you encounter someone who does not fit your idea of normal when it comes to sexual or gender persuasion and you feel intolerant, ask yourself if they being who they are really impedes you from being who you are. I hope you will realize that those who you see as abnormal do not prevent you from being “normal.” Live and let live, cooperation and communication are the only way our country will survive our own ignorance and intolerance.
Reply to Sharon Muhlenkort Above
As far as I can find with some internet browsing, Sharon Muhlenkort is a PhD operating out of Oakland, CA, just across the Bay from me. She has no professional research publications in the more reputable psychological journals. Additionally, she cites the American Psychoanalytical Association in her blog which is an imaginary organization which she has confused with the American Psychological Association (APA). If she were a reputable source of mental health information I would have expected her to know the proper name for one of the largest professional organizations of mental health professionals. Beware of where you get your information.
For instance, after reading my blog above you may think that I am an educated psychologist. If you made this conclusion, I apologize for misleading you, I am no mental health professional. I am a physical scientist conducting active research in my field and have no experience in psychological research. However, I have read a large body of professional literature on the subject addressed throughout this blog and would encourage everyone else here to get on Google Scholar and visit your local library to learn more about this and anything else on which you should be more informed. I hope that Dr. Sharon Muhlenkort was simply trying to state that while Barbara Walter’s report highlights the human experience of these children she did not address much of the science behind the issue.
Please keep posting.
Megadude,
HER little “you know what” is a penis, no big deal, there are about 3 billion of them out there (~6 billion people on Earth*~50% male=3 billion penises). You make a good point that we should talk to our children about sexuality and feelings especially when they are confused. However, I do not agree that we tell our children that because they have a penis or a vagina they must act a certain way. Do you believe that because wider hips are normally attributed to a woman’s physique, that we should tell a boy who has wide hips that his hips are wide for birthing children, and that we should tell him to grow a uterus? Or how about a girl with a large labia or clitoris that may be visible through tight fitting clothes? Or a boy with a small genitalia that are not apparent in tight fitting clothes? Your scenario and the one’s I presented seem equally ridiculous and are both good examples of bad parenting. I’m not advocating that society completely lose all of its tradition of sexually-determined gender, just that we be open to modifications to this tradition.
These children touch my heart.
They were very brave to expose their truths and fears publicly. I have no idea how participating in this show will effect them years from now.
Hopefully, with continued support and love from family and better understanding from community . . . they will be able to look bad with pride at their courage and have compassion for themselves.
I would love to have a copy of the show to share with others.
Might it air again?
How can I get a copy?
Bonnie,
I suggest you contact ABC directly for that information and to encourage their network to continue reporting on this issue.
In the meantime, there are many videos on Google Videos and YouTube that offer anecdotes and that document transgendered life.
We should not let children make decisions like this. They still believe in the toothfairy and santa, and are able to make a decision i am the wrong sex.?
That is why we are the parents. If your child thought they were a nudits would you let them run around naked if the law said it was ok.
sp: nudist
It is not judgemental to stand up for Chrisitan values. As christians we have been compremising our ethics to long. No prayer in school 10 commandents gone etc.
it’s important to consider that every child is different, every set of circumstances and families that surround them are different, and no theory is going to help everyone of them. a boy I know was about 3 and loved to wear his sister’s pink shoes. he preferred to be called a princess and loathed being called a prince, he liked to dance like a woman (better than most women I know), and was easily upset when he was playing a little game of sports where he’d get hit by a real soft ball. he looked like a sweet little girl, though at 3 that’s not too unusual. his father read a book that gave some possible reasons why he didn’t like to associate with his male identity. the author indicates that a boy needs to choose to be a boy, to say, “I want to be a boy. I want to be like daddy.” he was away from his family, not by choice, for about 4 months when he was around 2-2.5. that may have interrupted the bonding and internal declaration(?). over the past 5-6 months, it’s bizarre, but he’s looking more like a boy in his mannerisms, and the games he likes to play, he seems to like his daddy a lot more as well. he’s still a sensitive kid and very aware of how he’s being treated and quite a little communicator at age 4. again, this is just another consideration to throw into the mix. not to offend or hurt anyone who may have had a different experience. thanks for listening.
I guess there’s lots of personal levels of what it means to “be a Christian.” I believe in Jesus, I believe in God and I believe the most important part of that belief is to love one another. You don’t have to understand what it’s like to be gay or transgender if you’re not….love them for who they are. What we think we believe about something, and what we really believe when it becomes personal in our own life, are usually two totally different things. If all parents loved their children for who they are on the inside, the world would sure be a better place.
I have read somewhere….and admit have only researched this because I own a hermaphrodite cat..and funny since he doesnt have society stigmas…all the cats treat him same..if anything he gets along with everyone the best..I guess he feels both sexes..
my point is I have read somewhere..that in the womb ..the first months..all fetus seem female then develop male sexual organs…so perhaps these are not birth defects…but miracles of nature…
so check Egyptian mythology..on how they felt man and women were started…boy this will get the bible thumpers going…
they felt that we started as scarab …dung beetles..as many insects are hermaphrodite….
They felt it was through their god ATUM…thought to be their bisexual god..the Great HESHE…whom they felt masturbated with his shadow to produce children by spittng out his son and vomiting his daughter.,….
There has been so many generations…I am Generation X…society made us so generic…perhaps this will be the
SEXUAL GENERATION…when society doesnt think that there is mistakes just miracles of a world we should worry more about and planet we should care more about..than worry and care what someone has in their pants.
LETS NOT WORRY ABOUT IT LET KIDS BE KIDS AND STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE ALL THE SAME WHEN ITS REALLY THE DIFFERENCES WE ADMIRE MOST…AS LONG AS A CELEBRITY IS DOING IT ….SO MAYBE WE NEED A CELEBRITY HERMAPHRODITE TO MAKE IT COOL
Thank you Barbara Walters and 20/20 for your heart-felt, touching expose on transgender kids and their families. God bless these children and their families, they are truly brave and special people. As cruel as some elements of society are, including some of the previous posters here, it is a wonderful thing to see how supportive and loving the parents were during last night’s show. It was heart-wrenching to see the pain they felt, more importantly to see the pain felt by the children.
As much as it hurts a family member to have to deal with a transgender child, I would just remind people that those parents, as much as THAT part of their life makes them grieve, they have many other aspects of life that bring them joy: their other children, their spouse, their job (if they enjoy it), their friends, hobbies etc. etc. Not least of which is the fact that they still have their trans child, who has not decided to commit suicide and is still there in their life. But the transgender child has NO happiness. ALL aspects of life are like hell. Until they can live and express themselves how they feel, they can never be happy. To those of you on here who would deny them that chance, you should seriously take a long, deep look into the mirror. The smiles those kids had…you would extinguish those and replace them with tears of pain? Did you see Riley break down last night, and the pain in her face? Imagine that you have the same mind and emotions as you have this exact same minute, yet all of a sudden you were living in the body of the opposite sex. What if you men woke up, with the same minds you have this minute, and were all of a sudden in a women’s body? What if some of you women had the exact same minds you do right now, but all of a sudden were forced to live in a man’s body?
And to the posters who have said that sexual orientation impacts gender identity, you could not be more wrong. Gender identity is a completely different and separate topic. It’s not an issue that arises because of someone’s sexual orientation. It’s about expressing who you are on the most fundamental level. Two of the three kids on the show last night are not even old enough to have sexual inclinations. The two topics are not at all related.
I really hope that Ms. Walters and 20/20 do more shows on this topic in the future. No, I am not calling on them to devote their programming to it, or to start a crusade for trans people. But at some point in the future, it would be nice to see a more complete look at the topic. Oprah Winfrey had a show on the subject a couple of years ago, and then the entire thing disappeard from the media’s view. But the violence and bigotry trans people face does not go away. On average 1-2 of them are violently murdered every MONTH in the U.S. by people who have the exact some views as some of the posters on here. How many more are attacked otherwise? Thank God those kids last night had the parents they did. They will actually have the chance to grow up and live happy, loving lives. Imagine if they had some of you as parents? Would you beat them because they wanted to wear a dress? Would you call them a “faggot” because they wanted to wear makeup and look pretty? Worse yet, would you murder your own child because of the shame you perceive they are bringing on you?? Those things have all happened many times over. Some of you are beyond disgusting to promote such hate and bigotry.
Again, I hope to see more shows regarding this topic. For the transgender person, life is truly a battle, not because of nature, but because of society. For every story like last night, there are hundreds of others like the ones you see on talk shows that show trans people as freaks. For all of the lucky kids that were shown last night with loving families, there are hundreds even thousands of others who are disowned by their families. Beaten, spit on, abused by their own parents and eventually kicked out of the house as teenagers to fend for themselves. They are unable to get a job anywhere, and often have to resort to suicide to end their suffering, or the alternative of life, which brings with it for many prostitution and other sex work as the only possibility of income. For those who are forced to make their own way without supporting families, even if they have other options besides prostitution, they are faced with the choice of trying to make quick money that way in order to pay for surgeries and hormones at a young age of say 20, or having to save and wait until their 30s. The choice to transition by one’s teens or early 20’s brings with it the opportunity to successfully assimilate into society as the gender the person identifies with. But to wait until later in life, brings with it the ordeal of looking very much like a crossdresser and never being able to fully achieve acceptance from society.
Good luck and God bless the kids and their families that were on last night’s show!!
Thank you Jane!!!!!!!!!! And megadude you are just wrong on so many levels. We come from a very Roman Catholic background and before this happened in our family I would have said that you should just pray and accept this cross, but boy oh boy does that ever change when it is a child of your own.. My son knew at 3 years of age that he shouldn’t be in a female body. The shame, confusion and depression this child has gone through breaks my heart. We (my family) didn’t have all of this knowledge in the eighties. We took him to a psychologist who told us to let him be the tomboy we thought he was but everyone once in a while demand he dress like a girl (weddings,etc.) I feel very guilty now for doing that to him; how embarrasing that was for him. I kept hoping puberty would change him and that he would start dressing and acting more girly. He did try; but it just depressed him more; he felt like he was cross dressing. In high school he confessed that he thought he was a lesbian and that surely he would go to hell. I told him a loving God would never let that happen. Then a year or so later he told me, that yes he was attracted to girls but not as a woman, but as a man in the wrong body. I love this child with all my heart and we have helped him go through hormone therapy and surgery. He is happy, has a girlfriend and a bright future ahead of him. Will his life ever be easy? That is one that our society will have to work on but I can tell you that every single solitary soul we have ever divulged this information to has been absolutely supportive. We surely have been blessed by God. The only person who really had something negative to say was our pastor. He said we were changing something fundamental that God had created. To that I say: When we are dead and gone and have only a soul, I believe my son’s will be the memories, feelings and tendencies that have brought him to live as a man. I pray that we all stop judging people that we don’t know and don’t understand. Please remember that 99.9% of people are not going to live a life that will cause them discomfort (homosexual, transgendered, etc) and make their waking hours a living hell. There is no CHOICE in any of this. God Bless you who have written supportive and loving comments. Parents, love your children unconditionally. They need to know they aren’t weird or evil. Thank you all for listening.
I think the show on Transgender children was very enlighting. My heart goes out to all families with something like that.
I have enough love and acceptance to accept all Gods children.
I am almost 60, I am Jewish, my sister is gay and so is my son, whom I love dearly. They did not choose to be born that way.
Cross dressing, homosexual, transgender etc. I believe that something at birth hormonoly or chemicaly is the cause. God does not make mistakes, he loves all people. If people knew more of the exact thing they despise they might learn more and be able to accept the fact that these things cannot be reversed.
Its very sad for the children and their families, but I do hope this special shed a little light. Children need love and acceptance and you staunch bigoted people need mental help from Drs.
May God bless each and every person and to the unenlighted get help, for someday you never know how you would react if someone in your family were different than what we know should be.
I am proud to be an open loving person.
It’s a dangerous, sad world out there and many people die and suffer a great deal everyday as a result of illness, war, crime, and freak accidents. Those are real issues. We should steer away from negativity and look at those trans-gender children as unique people not as infectious diseases, and discuss the matter moderately to protect the innocence of all children while dictating our opinions. I feel that the entire controversey surrounding this subject could ultimatley effect the children in the long run in either a positive or very ugly way. Let’s not worry about other peoples prefrences because sexual prefrences do not make humans bad characters, just different.
I wish the best for those kids and their parents. Everyone has a right to be who they choose and it’s easier said than done. But I am hopeful that those children will be very successful someday with all of the courage they possess.
The program was very educating.
Best,
SKG
megadude. What a name for someone who really has it together. Are you truly so insecure in your own sexuality that you feel it neccessary to try to squelch the path of another?
Any of you who think that a person, at any age, wakes up one day and wants to complicate their life with such a painful process, you seriously need to either crawl back under your redneck rock, or you need to pull your head out ofyour butt and look around.
How dare you judge. How dare you look down on another human being for their complications. May your own idiosyncrasies and complications be exposed to the same judgement and ridicule that you place upon others.
How sad.
On the flip, I want to say to those who are trying to understand, or who understand as best they can, good for you. May you be blessed with happiness.
I only wish those who don’t understand this “invisible wheelchair” or prison would have to live under the circumstances we/these children live every day! What about the truth will set you free or honesty? Didn’t God promote honesty! Living transgender is living in a private prison every day of ones life while they are in the wrong body. You have to create an alter ego just to get by day to day because you are a different gender and most want to hide their secret if it can’t be fixed. Everyday you live a lie because your gender doesn’t match your brain! I grew up in a generation that no one dealt with this! I told my entire family and they walked away and it was never brought up again! How would you feel? Please continue shows like this and help these children! God doesn’t make mistakes he just saying “at this time” get up and walk out of your invisible wheelchairs!
Even before I begin, let me say that I am that 5 year old child who is transgendered. Only that was 50 years ago and times were different then and gender stereotypes were different then too. So I am an expert on what happens throughout ones life when sexual reorientation “doesn’t” happen. I spent the last 24 hours since the broadcast thinking how very lucky those children are who have parents that will encourage and support their childs sexual direction.
I wish there was something I could do to help them. I need the same help. However, since I am nearer the end of my life than I am at the beginning, My prayers are SO dedicated to them.
I was thrilled to see such intimate and important bonding between the parents and their daughters. One day, and trust me on this… those girls will be asked by someone…Remember when you were a little girl?…if those girls can comfortably say yes they will be fairly well adjusted psychologically and emotionally. Probably capable of leading a normal life. Our society needs to be ready to accept them, not reject them.
If anyone thinks having a “secret self” is easy. Wow. Daisy (the writer) can assure that at least 50% of my life has been focused on cultivating my female self. If these girls can be allowed to blossom they shall indeed have enough energy to live their lives. I think the schools should allow ALL the girls to wear sex appropriate clothing. And my hat has to go off to the siblings. They need just as much support, Moms and Dads. Cuz, when you are gone and your daughters are older they will still need each other and I think those parents are just amazing in their acceptance of their childrens reality. Maybe some day those girls can take a bath or shower and actually be willing to look down at their private parts without shame or disgust. I 50 years later still refuse to even look at my genitalia becuse it makes me want to cry. So I don’t look.
If those children are not supported and encouraged to seek out their own sexual identity then they go into the closet. The closet contains a whole lot of trouble. Addictions to that which is feminine. So I always had to view pornography to see female genitalia. I would want to be that image of a girl or woman. Clothing fetishes particularly bras and panties. Sexual activities involving others, likely unsafe. Bad marriages, cuckolding… a lot of time and energy spent on trying to be a woman.
Time wasted and ill advised. Better to help these girls now while they can be helped. Now , I’ll go back and read the previous 35 comments o this issue. Best wishes to those special families.
I really don’t understand the people who dismiss this condition with statements like “God doesn’t make mistakes”
Either God creates hermaphrodites or he doesn’t, then what list of birth defects is he responsible for? (seriously - that’s not a rhetorical question) If he does, and God doesn’t make mistakes, then your argument makes even less sense.
These kids have a birth defect. It doesn’t have anything to do with homosexuality. It’s about gender.
Barbara Walters - thanks for the informative and moving special! I hope these kids - and others like them - can find the completeness in their life that the majority of us take for granted…
Sorry, 2nd paragraph above should read:
Either God creates hermaphrodites or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t then what list of birth defects is he responsible for?
Note: I’m not saying Gender Dysphoria has anything to do with hermaphroditism. Hermaphroditism is only one of thousands of possible birth defects, many of which cause all sorts of gender issues.
Let me begin by saying I have gay and lesbian friends I love dearly, like family. I also believe that God doesn’t make mistakes. I have an Autistic son whom I love dearly. My life has been completely changed and improved by him, so to me he is perfect. The child you see in a wheelchair with a birth defect has a purpose, no less than that of the leader of a country. Their purpose may be as simple as a means to soften our hearts and remind of us of our blessings.
Everyone tries to simplify God’s plan into concrete terms written on a page, in an article or on a blog. These perceptions of the plan are constantly debated to no avail.
We must never lose sight of our freedoms. If these parents so choose to encourage their children in transgender roles, I can respect that decision. I don’t have to agree with it. Likewise, I will raise my children according to true Christian values and expect the same respect in turn. My children will be taught to love everyone regardless of their circumstance. We will never speak ill of anyone in our house and we would appreciate the same respect as Christians. Just like we will wait for the appropriate time to teach our children about drinking, drugs, and heterosexual behavior, we will also choose the time to explain to them homosexual behavior. My only issue is when these values are introduced too early without our consent. Same sex mock weddings have no place in a kindergarten class. (like my sister-in-law’s school in MA)
Also, I wonder if these children in the television special were taught for any length of time about what is “normal” gender behavior. I know my daughter would think she was Superman and jump off a building if I let her. I also had to teach her that running into the middle of the road was dangerous.
I know some can relate to these children and gender identity, but what if they are just being kids and the parents did not encourage them enough to be “normal” and the kids realize later as they enter adolescence that they are truly heterosexual and identify with their birth gender. Will their self esteems be even more harmed in the future? Is this truly a breakthrough in good parenting or setting these children up for even more confusion? We may never know.
I have read from too many people here who truly believe that we should be teaching our children what is right, according to our traditional upbringing and training. That is the very problem that Barbara Walters was bringing to light via her study in transgendered children. Who taught us the impact of black history in the United States? Who interpreted the Bible to tell us that transgendered is not possible in God’s creation or is a sin? Do transgendered children make us any more uncomfortable than anything that we are equally not familiar with? Were there weapons of mass destruction in Irag? Is not “normal” a conditioning that could be wrong because it is based on falsehoods or limited exposure? Jesus said nothing against surgery or medicine to repair birthdefects or for cosmetic enhancement. Can’t we get it that we have people of deep faith killing others of deep faith and none of us are all right? We have been mislead in school through biased teaching, we have been mislead in church through biased teaching, we have been mislead by our politicians through biased teaching and we have been mislead by our families through biased teaching. Any judgement we each might be accountable to will be based on our individual efforts to do what is right and not based on the flawed biased teaching we’ve have been raised with. Eternal life comes purely, according to Jesus, by loving God with everything we have a choice to love Him with and loving our neighbor as ourself (the one who shows us mercy). Transgendered bigotry kills where as allowing loving expression promotes truth. All parents should start by acknowledging they don’t know all there is to know because they have been potentially mistaught and the human specie, in it’s entirety, is just scratching the surface of what there is to know. All parents should then take responsibility to provide a safe and healthy environment for their children to learn more than they. It is not the responsibility for parents to continue to enforce lies based on the traditions of their respective ghetto of birth.
First, I want to say I am a mom of three beautiful kids 2 boys and one lovely girl. My oldest is 14, he is a smart, kind, weird and very funny boy who makes me laugh on a daily basis. My daughter, who is 5 is tender, shy and hilarious, and she brightens my day. My third is my baby boy, who is 4 and sweet, bouncy and cuddly as can be. Since my youngest are so close in age there are times he wants to play with her toys and her with his. He even on occasion plays house and puts on his sisters costumes. Sometimes even saying he wanted to be a girl, never to the extreme as Riley. My oldest boy had dolls, for me, it taught him to be gentle and paved the way for him to be a good father. Today, he has a crush on a pretty girl in his Judo Class. He didn’t become “GAY”, just because he played house or played with a doll. Seeing the desperation of that sweet child wanting to be what she felt in her heart and soul touched my heart. I finally understood what it really meant to be transgender, and look at my kids behavior. My 4 year old gets jealous, but in the same turn he loves boy toys and climbing and he thinks that in his future he wants to marry a girl. He plays with his sister, as I said before, and when I paint her nails he wanted me to paint his nails and put barrettes in his hair, but he wants a girlfriend someday. He is curious about the natural differences between himself and girls. He understands, at this age, he’s a boy and accepts this; it doesn’t haunt him, hurt him and make him feel wrong. There is a huge difference between a transgender child and a child who is lucky enough to not have to question who they are, especially at such a young age. No child should have to worry about such hard issues, not even us as adults have answers for. Who in their right mind would. It’s not like their asking to be different, to hurt and feel wrong.
As for those who put their blind beliefs in their “RELIGON”, and not actual truth, God doesn’t make mistakes! What an ignorant statement. Who said God has a hand in this? Maybe God started us off, but as a parent watching a child come of age, God has left things to us and biology. We as humans are fragile and are still growing and learning. As we have witnessed, biology is not always perfect, and has showed us how fragile our genetics’ are. No one is made the same, and to group us in the same basket is not only stupid but blindly ignorant. Anything in this world is done by our hand. Whether it is violence, an act of kindness or the building of a city, so, instead of pointing fingers and blaming those who are just trying to do what is best in their lives, we should instead need to come together and try to make this small planet a better place to live - As God intended.
To those parents living with a transgender child, I say; May God Bless you and yours. Your bravery and strength will grow a tolerant child who will help make this world a better place to live.
Religion is bad when it is based on traditions (as it usually is); I have to agree with that statement.
I, and I can only speak for myself, never said that these transgendered children were mistakes by any means.
Each and every one of us without exception is born with temptations. There are no temptations worse than others, but some are definitely more visible than others when they are embraced. Gluttony is one where some people succumb to the temptation of food, drugs, drinking or money. It is very easy for people to be down right mean as they are tempted to be daily. Infidelity, murder and the list goes on and on.
I cannot and will not judge these children and parents because I can be easily judged as well. My issues are just different and at some time I am sure those with homosexual temptations could look down on me as well because they do not understand my temptations.
One thing for certain is that our temptations harm our emotional well-being. Mine almost caused me to take my own life on two occasions. No laws or acceptance will ever remove the painful emotions we feel because of our behavior when it is not in sync with the wonderful person God would have us be.
Are there any words that Christians can use to show how much they and God love everyone that would gain their acceptance? There will always be bigots in every realm and there will come a day where Christians will be the only ones persecuted. Tolerance will be expected for all, but Christians.
If a child was born with another type of birth defect (let’s say for arguments sake) “a leg backwards”. There would be no lesson from God or that anyone else could learn from that. The only response would be why don’t the parents correct that problem for the child! There are millions of documented cases of abnormality at birth or genetics! These wonderful parents are correcting the problem and they should be applauded for being wonderful and loving parents who have surpassed ignornance and social stigma! There would be no lesson learned from us or taught by God by a child having a leg backwards or some other form of deformity! No social lesson! Except that the parents should restore the child to a more normal state for a better quality of life.
Think about it.
Jane Welle
Jane, I completely agree with you. If a child were born without a leg, I’m sure any parent would get them a prosthetic (sp?) one at the appropriate age to correct their problem. Anyone who says that “God doesn’t make mistakes” is making a completely false assumption that indeed God didn’t intend for a person to be born transgender.
To many, that seems such a frightening prospect, but terribly difficult things happen to everyone throughout life, and all are part of God’s plan. Why do we lose loved ones far too soon? Why did that shooting happen at Virginia Tech?…or so many other tragedies that happen to families on a daily basis? We all have to deal with adversity. It is absolutely reasonable to believe that indeed being born transgender, while certainly a terribly difficult thing to deal with, is part of God’s plan for that child and their family. That is certainly my belief.
We should all applaud these parents for helping their children achieve happiness. Too many parents would not do the same thing. A few have gone so far as to kill their children for being trans or gay, and many many more have disowned them and kicked them out….many of those kids are likely to become drug addicts, prostitutes, commit suicide, etc. The kids in this program will likely lead successful lives because they have a loving, supportive family. For any other family the same is true…love and support lead to far better children (most of the time if not all) than does violence and emotional abuse.
Finally, to those people who say you are born one way so it goes against God to change that…what an ignorant statement. Should Siamese twins not be given the chance to have surgery? Should someone be born without a limb, can they not have prostethic (sp?) surgery? What about one day if we invent technology that allows blind people to see….according to your logic someone born blind would not be allowed morally to correct their problem. What kind of warped thinking is that? It’s no different for a trans person…if they are born with this problem, they should be able to correct it just as siamese twins do, children born with both sexes, etc. For goodness sakes, you men aren’t born circumcised are you? Maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to have that surgery performed on you either.
Jane and Jessica,
What if the problem can’t be “fixed”? Would you like to walk into my son’s special ed classroom and tell the children there that they are mistakes and they serve no purpose? That is blatant ignorance. Everyone is so quick to “understand” God’s purpose if they can envelope and bracket the ideas into a neat package. Hypocritical is the thought that homosexuals and transgenders serve a purpose by living by the gender they feel whereas children with other deformities that can’t be “fixed” are simply at a loss. My son’s special ed teacher has no arms. She has hands at her shoulders. She is quite talented with her hands and she serves a grand purpose. Because of her deformity she is VERY understanding of how these children feel. If she were born “normal” she would probably not be as kind, gentle and understanding. She is not an exception to the “God doesn’t make mistakes” mentality. Yes, it makes us all stop and realize how blessed we are. I even feel guilty that I am healthy at times, but God has a different purpose and plan for me.
I can guarantee you these children with gender issues serve a grand purpose beyond all our understanding. They are not mistakes just like my Autistic son is not a mistake. I am doing everything in my power to see to it that he is healed. Ironically enough, there are persons who think that doing everything to heal Autistic children makes a statement that we wouldn’t love them just the way they are. That is wrong.
Welcome to my world. Let’s be clear. It is very cavalier and arbitrary at what points natural variations and diversities are judged to be “defects.” Assigning the label “defect” implies something is “wrong” and should be “fixed.” Transgender and homosexual behavior has been documented in virtually all mammals and abounds in fish, birds and reptiles as well. However, only humans seem to find the arrogance to insist these variations are more than the simple, though unusual, occourances they are.
For every child whose parents are aware of their trangender situation there are at least hundreds of thousands like myself who flew under the radar screen and far into middle-age before coming to terms with ourselves. Growing up before the internet and with even university libraries devoid of useful literature placed me and my generation of transgender folks among those starved for information. Let us celebrate an end to those days, years and generations of ignorance and prejudice.
Only one to three percent of the population can walk in my shoes. Still that means there are likely 75,000 TG children born in America every year. They are not broken or “defective.” There are no medical or psychological therapies that shown to “fix” anything. None of us (or anyone “normal,” for that matter) made a “choice” to be the gender we are. However, we can all make the choice to meet each other where we are, and to be respectful. Don’t judge me by the hand I happen to be dealt. Judge me on way I play that hand and live my life. That may include bringing consistency among the body, the brain and the “M” or “F” on one’s drivers license.
A big “THANK YOU!” to you, Barbara Walters.
Sharpie,
???….I’m not sure you read my post, because I was pretty much making the same point that you were. God doesn’t make mistakes, every way each one of us turns out is planned by Him. And in our own special way we will contribute to His plan here on earth. Any so-called Christian who can’t see that is not following Christ. While autism might be far different than transgenderism, the fact is that both, like other “afflictions”, are problems that cause great difficulty for those affected. I really don’t want to speak for you, but I know if I had a child who was born autistic, I would do anything in my power to help them overcome that and live a “normal”, healthy life. I don’t think anyone would condemn me for doing that either. But for some reason, if a parent has a child who is transgender, and they do everything in their power to correct that, they are condemned by some.
To everyone else,
I am a Christian, and nowhere does my faith tell me to hate other people. Even if you can’t understand them, if they aren’t harming you then why would you hate them or condemn them? It is not your right to judge. Satan is using your bigotry against you and pulling hate over your eyes so that you might be blinded from love. To any transgender person who has never believed in Christ or followed any kind of spiritual life, it is for them I shed tears for because it is by the hands of charlatans they are pushed away from Christ, not by those who actually understand His message. Christ does love you, and understands your pain and is there for you. I pray that you will find it because He loves you for who YOU are, transgender and all.
There are passages in the Bible where crossdressing and homosexuality are addressed. They are for the most part old testament passages, particularly in the book of Leviticus. They are right next to other archaic passages. There are a few passages from the New Testament that come to mind that defend trans and gay people. The main passage comes from Galatians 3:
“But before faith came, we were kept under the law, shut up unto the faith which should afterward be revealed. Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster. For ye are all the children of God by faith in Jesus Christ. For as many of you as have been baptised into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for we are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Whether we receive Christ or not does not depend on those old laws, but whether or not we have faith in Him as our Savior. If the laws were so important, did Christ not condemn the pharisees for following them to the letter? Jesus even taught on the Sabbath, in violation of Semetic law. What was important was the Love he showed and the Faith it instilled. Love and Faith above all else are the Words which will bring you to Him.
I am a Christian and I am also trans. Nowhere do the two conflict. My relationship with Christ is the most important thing in my life. It is in man’s nature to be judgemental. Everyone is born with that to some degree or another. But the important thing is to overcome those negative aspects of our personalities such as bigotry…Satan uses them to blind us. Much of Christ’s time here on Earth was spent with people that most of society would look down upon. If you have truly received Christ’s message then you will know that Christ loves us all. He alone can judge us, because he knows our hearts. He doesn’t judge as you judge, His ways are higher than ours and none of us can understand them, so do not judge and love everyone as He has taught.
Sharpie,
I think you grossly misunderstood the comments of Jane and Jessica. They weren’t implying that simply because your child “can’t be fixed” that “God made a mistake.” They were just saying that because “God does not make mistakes” that allowing these children to become who they are (that is, their true gender, not that given to them by biology) is what we can do, call it a “fix.”
Additionally, you seem to have lost hope that your child’s condition “can’t be fixed,” medical science is making great advances in understanding autism. I believe that autism will be a highly treatable and potentially preventable disorder in the years to come.
I have to say that many posters are invoking “God” in this discussion. Being that I am a proud atheist (as I’m sure most of you are proud Christians), I never considered the occurence of transgendered people (or anything else for that matter) to be the decision of some Almighty Power.
Just like most every other condition of the human experience, the occurence of TGism is due to the feedback between nature and nurture. But, the bottom line that I think the public needs to get into their heads is that no matter how it occurs (nature, nurture, God, Allah, fairies) TGism is REAL and it must be addressed by society. Families of TG children need the support of the entire community, regardless of whether a particular child is going through a “phase” or is truly TG we all must recognize the importance of raising children to be WHO THEY ARE, NOT WHAT WE WANT THEM TO BE.
This show was based on the sick, twisted and lost of the liberal left. Starring Barb Walters, ABC, Hilliary and Obama supported and all those folks who have truly missed the boat! Kids will believe anything their parents tell them and wow, these were some dippy, far left crackpot parents who should be in prison for what they have produced in these helpless kids. Damn them! Parents such as these couldn’t raise goldfish and have no business out of jail or the nut house. I for obe won’t give in to gay this or gay that, trans this am gay marriage that. It’s non stop garbage being pushedwhom s upon us in hope of softening our view and acceptance of this perverse culture and lifestyle. I will however campaign for any candidate who will speak out against this sin of sins. For those of you who will try and counter my words, it won’t matter. See yaw at the great judgement!!!!!!!
Oh. I almost forgot……..Praise the Lord for our supreme court who outlawed partial birth abortion. Bet that really stung deep to the abortion mongers out there. And thank George Bush for his appointing of real men two the supreme court. Thank you God for sparing our children from being mutilated. Now we must focus on banning abortion altogether.. The left says it’s a woman’s choice. How about the little girls whose heads were smashed during the partial birth abortion proceedure. Guess they will never get their right to choose. God help us!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica,
I still disagree about sexual orientation and TG to be separate topics. Nor do I think that a TG child is any more prone to homo- or heterosexuality than any other child. I don’t think that one causes the other, instead, much like every other biological, psychology, and physiological process, it is the feedback between these two elements that produces the end result of Gay Straight Bi TG Masculine Feminine.
As a proxy for this relationship allow me to describe some stereotypes that blatantly associate sexual orientation, biological sex, and gender roles.
Straight Men are Masculine
Straight Women are Feminine
Gay Men are Feminine (sissy)
Lesbian Women are Masculine (butch)
It’s also interesting that you associate the word “faggot” (a term normally used to describe homosexual men, SEXUALITY) with normally feminine behavior of wearing “makeup” and “looking pretty” (GENDER IDENTITY).
Although, it is obvious that these stereotypes are not always true they do have some bearing in reality. Suggested reading for you: numerous studies addressing the relationship between sexual and gender identity (google scholar it) and Sissyphobia: Gay men and effeminate behavior By Tim Bergling.
Bottom line, nothing in psychological development can truly be separated from any other element of psychological development. Sexual identity and gender identity go hand in hand one way or another.
Even more, the fact that the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender community is described as the glbT community instead of the GLB community is that we are all in the same boat, people castigated by society for their sexual and gender identity.
I think on this we can agree, G-L-B-TG-S-M-F we all need to live together and when someone being themselves does no physical harm to you, then we should leave them be, or better yet, help them become who they are.
Dee,
Although I am an atheist, I am not ignorant to the Bible. Didn’t Jesus tell the Apostles to help the weak and infirm, to build a community, to not judge lest ye’ be judged?
It seems that your blog seeks to belittle the hardships of families facing real problems that no amount of going to church is going to fix, that your words promote a divisive community, and that your words judge how these parents choose to raise their children.
Additionally, please keep to the subject of this blog as it is in good blog ethic to not deviate from the topic in subject specific forums such as this one. This blog is to address Transgender issues, not a forum for the politics of abortion or religion. Your opinion on these matters should be posted elsewhere.
See you at the final judgement where we will both just be decomposing corpses and nothing more.
[…] are a few of the more than 50 comments we’ve gotten in response to our initial post about the episode: I believe that knowledge is power. The information provided in Barbara […]
Dee,
I too am a Christian; in fact a Catholic Christian who does not believe in abortion. But you are confusing the issues here. My child was born transgendered. I did not in any way, shape or form try to persuade him that he was different or should feel different. Why on God’s earth would I try to make his and our lives difficult. He has been haunted by feeling different and the guilt that has ensued since he was three years old. I don’t wish that on anyone. Medical science can change these children to a point that can make their life bearable even fruitful. My son is a wonderful, loving and NON judgmental human being who hopes to help transgendered children in his psychology practice one day. I really don’t care whether you support any of this or not. But I do care that you are guilty of judging and namecalling what you can’t possibly understand. It is people like you who scatter hate. Who knows what fires you may ignite in the name of Christianity. Did you know the violence and harassment that is perpetuated on these children and adults? Does that sound Christian? Is it fair that I have to wonder if my son is ok at any given moment? If only you walked in any of these children’s shoes for a day or more you might change your tune.
http://www.gender.org.uk/about/04embryo/43_comt1.htm
Everyone should check out this site. I was watching discovery health tonight. there was a show about Chimersiam. there was a baby in texas born with 2 dna. This baby was half male and half female. On one side the baby had a uterus and the other testical. Maybe this will help. there has been at lease 2 cases that 2 dna was present and no outside traits. If your child is transgender you should look in to this.
the show on Discovery Health was titled : I’m My Own Twin: Chimersiam,
As a TG person I’m disappointed to death at this point in this thread. “I think,” “I believe,” “I feel,” “I am not ignorant,” “You don’t understand,” etc. Teddie, I know you mean well, but you’ve really missed the point. Please don’t let this become a fascination with exceedingly rare oddity. Consider that if you are in a room with thirty people chances are greater than seventy-five percent the at least one of them is transgender.
More to the point, there is a lot of substantial, credible, serious research that has been published in respected peer reviewed journals. Hirshfield (1910) and Ellis (1914), Benjamin (1964), Bullough (1993) among others. But, Dr. Eric Villian, UCLA School of Medicine in 2003 is the first I know of to make a firm connection to genetics (not prenatal hormones.) Louann Brizendine, Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute in San Francisco, “The Female Brain,” 2006, agrees everything starts with genetics and can later be influenced by hormones. Dr. Joan Roughgarden, Stanford University biologist, “Evolution’s Rainbow”, 2004, is a fascinating study of transgender behavior in fish, birds, reptiles, and more. These are just a tiny sample of the solid work that has been done and continues.
It is certain that I (and perhaps Daisy and a few others) have studied more than most because of my direct personal experience. Yet I continue to be disappointed that I see so many opinions with so little evidence of knowledge.
Andy Rooney once said, “Some people aren’t entitled to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.” If you don’t have time for more than TV and talk radio, you don’t have time for learning. Now, go pick ten books by respected doctors, biologists, geneticists, and psychologists who have spent years on the subject and read them. I still may not agree with you, but at least you will be entitled to your opinion.
Thank you Barbara van Horn for putting some good sources of information (peer-reviewed science journals) that will help shed legitimate light on this topic.
I’m so sick and tired of people saying that a child can’t know if they are born in the wrong body. I assure you from personal experience that they can. My parents never encouraged me to be a girl, but they didn’t discourage me either. They knew I needed to be who I was and that was that. It turned out that I was wired female and no amount of counseling, parental pressure of hormone therapy (Believe me, the surge of testosterone during puberty only made things worse and didn’t chase away the girl feelings) was going to change it.
I was born that way and that is all there is to it. I don’t want to change my mind, only my body to match my mind. Look, all of us who are transgender know that we are a particular gender just like anyone who is happy in their birth gender knows that they are that gender. I own my gender, not my parents, not my doctor, not you and certainly not the gender police. I own it so why can’t some people just leave us alone.
Props to FamilyPride for a great job.
Kelly,
I really do know how you feel. I am encouraged to know that soon enough the research will show conclusively (for most researchers in the field it already has) that being TG, TS, gay, lesbian or straight is a function of our genetics. In the billions of possible combinations there are a few that place us to the right or left of where most people find themselves. As Bishop John Shelby Spong says, “You don’t choose. You awaken.” Once you are awake your choices are to embrace who you are or be miserable your whole life. Nurture can help you or harm you, but it can’t make or unmake what you are.
I am concerned that many influential Americans, like many Americans in general, are frankly, scientifically illiterate. They have studied little since their school days (if then) and are victims of confirmation bias where they hear only what they already have decided to believe and rationalize away inconvenient truth. The rising generations of younger Americans will do much better in spite of concerted efforts by many to prevent school age children from learning what we now know is true.
Truth at times may be slow coming and can be resisted, but, like gravity, it is relentless and eventually wins.
Blessings,
Barbara
Whenever I read a thread such as this it invokes much emotion. Some is warmth and happiness that there ARE good people in this world. Christians and non-Christians alike who are non-judgemental and either put forth the effort to educate themselves about a subject they know nothing about or, at the least, make no comments at all. It also brings up anger and sadness. When dealing with people who are born with this birth defect, like these children, people use the phrases “I don’t believe in it….”, “It’s a sin….”, “Perverted lifestyle…”, etc. To people like myself those words are ludicrous. This is a birth defect, plain and simple. This is not a sin any more then being born with Elephantiasis. There was a time when “good Christians” said that those suffering from epolipsy were possessed by demons.
I am a woman who was born with the birth defect commonly known as transsexualism. I DID recognize it early, at around 3 or 4. In the 1950’s there was NO source of information on the subject. What information WAS available told of institutionalization, electro-shock therapy and even lobotomies. That lack of data unnecessarily ruined (and ended) many, many lives; not only for those who suffered from this but also those family, friends, spouses and children who were affected by sufferers who didn’t seek treatment until much later in their adult lives. We were “forced” into trying to do the best that we could.
I am one of the lucky ones. I transitioned and had surgery many, many years ago but still well into adulthood, with established relationships, marriages, children. I was lucky, I lost no friends and no family; most lose everything. I did lose my job when I started transition.
When I was trying to be a “man” I was not a very good one. I surrounded myself with a “buffer zone”, not wanting anyone to EVER know, or even suspect, what turmoil was going on inside. Even though I was “brought up” in the church I deserted it because I just never thought I was worthy of being there, living the lie I was living. I was an alcoholic and I smoked cigarettes. The alcohol was a tool that “numbed” my values and allowed me to follow my quest of “finding the right person” that would be the whole answer to my “problems”. The next one would be the “right” one, I convinced myself of that. That behavior resulted in 4 marriages, too-many-to-count affairs and countless hurt human beings.
Then one day I found some literature that cried to me: “You are NOT the only person on earth who feels like you do”…. and “There IS treatment available. It was the starting point of a new life.
I was always a woman so there was no “changing genders”. I simply had treatment of a birth defect to alter some of my external appearances so that other people could also know I was a woman and interact with me accordingly. I no longer smoke or drink. Neither was a conscious decision to quit; it’s just that they no longer had to be a part of my life. I am very monogamous. I went back to the church and I am now a leader in mine as an Ordained Deacon. I am very active in mainstream politics and may possibly run for public office in the not-too-distant future. I am a mother, grandmother, sister and friend. I have been blessed with more friends than anyone deserves. I love life, I love people and I am at peace with my God and myself.
In this country we are so hung-up on anything “sexual” that we bury our heads in the sand. Because of that most meaningful research is done in other countries. THERE ARE CHILDREN BORN WITH THIS DEFECT EVERYDAY. TO TURN A BLIND EYE TO THAT FACT IS IMMORAL, UNETHICAL AND SHOULD BE CRIMINAL. If any of you want I could produce 50, 100 adults tomorrow who could testify to you about what their lives were like, the hurt, the pain, the suffering, ruin, wasted lives; BECAUSE NO ONE WOULD LISTEN TO THEM WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN.
We obviously must be cautious when we deal with this. Of all the kids who display some sort of atypical gender behaviour, a very small percentage of those have probably been born with this defect. But don’t you all think that it is worth acknowledging the condition? Don’t you think it’s worth funding for research to find a way to more easily diagnose it? Aren’t our children worth it?
Terri
i watched the 20/20 program.I too am a tg person i knew i was different at 5 yrs old. My mother told me “you are a boy” live with it .. i lived with it but suffered with “IT” all my life..I am a tg cd person with a wife (Married 40 years) two children and two grandchildren.. My wife knows now and we are accepting of who I am. My wife’s greatest sadness is that she did not know 40 years ago. Since my secret is out to her she see’s an all new person in the “PERSON” she married . I no longer have this secret to hide the secret was “Who I Am”
I think parents put it in thier kids head to be TG. Let’s say, my son likes to play with dolls. I can either 1) fullfill a self proclaimed prophecy by convincing him he is TG because he has an intest in mothering by allowing him to play with them and encouraging his femine side, or 2) I can see it as him wanting a little sister and assume that’s all it is. I think people see something and run with it. If a person pushes an issue, they will naturally conform to it. On the Barbara Walters show, the little boy was confronted with two dolls. A boy and a girl. The person holding them asked him, “which one are you most like?” He said, “This is me right now (pointing to the boy), but this is what I want to be (pointing to the girl). Now, he didn’t say this is me and point to the girl. He said that was what he wanted to be. People don’t have a choice. What if there was no way to get a sex change? Well, I don’t think people would even be talking about this stuff. And if this is truly a medical condition, then why has it just recently “came out of the closet” so to speak. Why hasn’t this been diagnosed for thousands of years? I’ll tell you why, because all it is is perversion. Ever person is prone to be perverse. Ever person has a desire for evil. We are all born with a tendency to sin; to fornicate, to lie, to hate, etc. And the tendency to want to change your sex goes right along with the list. Just because you want to do it doesn’t mean it should be ok. If I had a tendency to want to want to marry an animal, should that be legal? No. There is a standard called the Bible that has seemed to be lost ever since they stopped teaching it in schools. God help our country!
hey you ought to walk in the shoes of someone who is tg or ts you make it sound so simple. The reason you hear about transgendered people now is that it has come to the attention of many families/doctors and educators.I have lived with being tg since i was 5 yrs old prior to the 1960’s there was little understanding into gender this is not sexual orientation. It has nothing to do with the bible nothing !!
OK, I have been reading ALOT of the blogs.
All I can say is, people, parents ask yourself…
if your child had a feeling of hunger, would you tell this (your) child NO, you are not hungry?
This must be an uncontrollable feeling for these children, young adults and adults alike. You know your own body, do some of you people ACTUALLY believe these individuals choose this? The ridicule, the seclusion, the hating of themselves because they feel there is something “wrong” with them? All of this and the negative comments make me sick.
The next time all you “negative” and unaccepting people have a child who is hungry, tell them they cannot eat. That is exactly what you are saying to these people.
Later!
Nance
Hey You,
You don’t seem to know much about psychology, biology, sociology, or history. I suggest you read up before you formulate an opinion on this issue and any other for that matter.
1. With regard to the child and doll scenario to which you referred, keep in mind that this is a child, one who has not had any proper education in the realms of logic, philosophy, public speaking, etc., all of which allow us adults to formulate perfected, fitted sentences that explain exactly what we mean. To quibble over the child’s words is essentially a poor argument against the child’s claim of gender identity.
2. It’s unfortunate that your view of parenting is so provincial. Regardless of whether a child is in fact TG or simply interested in exploring his/her gender, a good parent would address their concerns with the child instead of stifling their development with an iron fist. Parents often forget to balance nurturing a child for who they are instead of molding them into what the parent wants the child to become.
3. With regard to your comment about the lack of historical record for TG, you couldn’t have made a more ill-founded argument. The fact is that your logic is invalid. To say that because TG has not been recognized by science for thousands of years and therefore is an invention of modern society and not a fact of human biology and psychology is ludacris. I suppose that because we discovered DNA in the 1950s and didn’t know about it for thousands of years that it was an invention of the liberal left and not science fact!
4. Although I am an atheist and find your invocation of the Lord’s help on this matter utterly deplorable and disgusting. It reminds me of racist Christians in the 1960s who fought against human rights and the plight of black Americans in the name of God.
Finally, please educate yourself, seek knowledge, you represent what’s wrong with this country: Bible thumping, religious double talkers who choose pedophilic preachers and a “C” student (Bush) as leaders. God better help this country, because there is no way YOU will.
> And if this is truly a medical condition, then why has it just
> recently “came out of the closet” so to speak. Why hasn’t this been
> diagnosed for thousands of years?
Well, up to several hundred years ago, witches and evil spirits caused disease. People with mental illness were possessed by the devil. And, of course, back then, the earth was flat and the sun revolved around it.
You might want to do some more reading on the topic. I think you’ll find plenty of references to the condition. It can even be found in the animal kingdom.
I doubt that knowledge will change the mind of anybody who has decided for religious reasons that science is just wrong.
Hey You
How could you imagine a child as young as 4 years old want to sin, want to fornicate.. although you state we are all born with the tendency to do this. These are CHILDREN. Your reference to “marry an animal” is completely absurd, how can you compare this?
The fact is that this is what these people feel (keyword PEOPLE), how can you reference the Bible and frown on mankind? Which.. is exactly what you are doing.
I am not TG, have not a family member tg, nor personally known anyone, but Please these people are no less of a person than you.
You could have many individuals going to your SAME Church, etc, and you may even be friends with some.. and do not even know it. Open your mind, this is the world.
We can go into the AIDS issue, if it was never in the public eye, would it exist? Yes it would, we as a society finally put a name to it. Think before you type. What about cancer? Would it exist? Yes it would, when “we” put a name to it.. I can go on, and on. Do not judge what you are not familair with. Do yourself a favor, study before you dismiss.
Thanks
Nancie
Yes, What Bob said! Thank you Bob
I feel that if this is the same as a birth defect as some of you put it, then there should be something the medical field could find in the body, blood, brain chemistry etc.. to back TG up. Maybe genetics, like alot of my family probably have the “obese” gene, hahah: but seriously, I surely do not want to judge. I am confuised about TG. I am a Christian. I know alot of us have brought our faith in to this blog. If you are a person of faith then everything you do and think is based to that. Yes we put our foot in our mouth and hurt people unknowingly and of course we sin. But we are covered by Christ blood. We are not perfect and we know it. I am thankful for the Grace of God. ok Not to preach so anyway I hope that some scientific explaination can be made of this. I am short, I wish i was tall, I am not model material but this is how God made me. I did not have a choice. You can call me Vertically Challanged, yes i have heard it before. But I dont go around wearing shoes with lifts. I accept it and know, hey this is just my body on earth. My soul is beauitful and it lives forever. I am not considering surgery to make me taller. I have family members :most of them: that are tall, in my mind i feel i am supposted to be tall. Maybe i should walk around in platform shoes and say I am Transheight. Ok as you can see this does not make since, but This Show and whole blog is crazy. Barbara Walters is just trying to get the spot light of Rosie O’donnel and the View issue.
But back on a seriout note:
We have to remember this is a Fallen World, It started in the Garden with Eve.,,it is not perfect and Satan loves every hardship he can put on us. But remember God will not allow anything to be put on you that you cannot handle with him. God did not create these children to be transgender. I do not have enough time to expound in this area. If anyone of you are interested post your question.
TONY EVANS is a pastor in Dallas, TX. He has preached on this subject. These people do not truly have a birth defect. They are just Confused IN their Sexual Idenity. You can get more info at TonyEvans.org.
I pray ya’ll don’t post and hit me to hard. just trying to give a different view point.
thanks, teddie
To those extreme religious folk. Go pray for your self and worry about what is affecting you. I would leave more threads, but I have a pretty busy schedule and can’t sit at my computer all day. These families are facing their own hardship and struggles and need support not the rants and raves of the paranoid and delusional. Do us all a favor, go spend time with your friends and family instead of plopping your butt at the computer all day long. Teddie, I have the fat gene too, but I fight it tooth and nail, with my magic friend Mr. Treadmill, and when I injuried my foot playing football with my kids, I used Ms. Stability ball…You seem more open, then most and I am proud of you for trying to see all the angles to this issue. I’m Agnostic, I believe in God but I don’t follow any religion, I don’t like being lead, and try to base my ideas on knowledge from many sources not just one. People tend to follow blindly, and that is dangerous.
Thank You all, you threads are informative and interesting. Most of you seem intelligent, tolerant and kind hearted. There is still hope for mankind.
Take care and Good luck in all endevors!
“We do not see things as they are. We see them as we are.” The Talmud
I wish everyone peace and acceptance….and I pray for those who seem so unaccepting of the differences in others. Is love something only for those who believe in a Higher Power? Is it to be shown only to others who are “just like you”? Anyone of us could have been born in another place, in another time, in another body. We do have the choice to be kind to others and to be supportive. We don’t have to understand all the differences….we’re all human beings, isn’t that enough? I’m a 45 yr. old straight married mom of 4. I have two gay siblings. Do I understand what it’s like to be gay? No. No more than they know what it’s like to be straight. (And yes, they knew from a very young age) Are we close? Yes! Do we love, support, hang out together with our families and friends? Yes! Who was the one who had to get over herself years ago and learn the real meaning of love? Me! (It was called “growing up”!)
I cried when I watched the show. The love the parents have for their kids… to put themselves out there to help them (even if they don’t totally “understand”) is what being a loving parent is all about. Not an easy road for the parents, but they’re putting their children’s needs above their own comfort zone. I pray for everyone who is struggling with inner or outer acceptance. Aren’t we all in some way or another? Peace to you all today.
Teddie,
May God bless you and hold you in His Hands. You seem to have a good heart and you are trying so hard to not be judgmental. There are some errors in your reasoning though.
You seem to dismiss out-of-hand ANY possibility that this is a birth defect; that God “doesn’t make mistakes”. There are so many deformities that occur in uteri due to the very complex balance of things that need to happen in a proper sequence for fetal development.
Medical research indicates that 2-3% of all babies are born with some significant birth defect. A baby can be born with Down’s Syndrome, Elephantitist, brain anomalies, Autism, Hydrocephalus, cleft lip/palate, clubfoot, Cerebral palsy, Spina Bifida and hundreds of others including a condition called Intersexed (nee Hermaphrodite). Intersexed is a condition wherein the baby presents with ambiguous genitalia, that is, some combination of male and female. These are all indisputable fact.
It is also fact that much medically research has determined that there are distinct differences between male and female brains. It is also fact that medical research has determined there is a distinct correlation between “natal” female brains and women’s brains who were born with male physical characteristics. Is it SUCH a stretch to conclude that maybe some babies are born with brains that developed as female and the body developed male due to some in uteri abnormality? Remember, we ALL start out female in the womb.
Let me state right now that I do not believe a man can become a woman or that a woman can become a man. We (male to female) are born with a women’s brain. If a person born a man decided to grow breasts and have his penis amputated or turned into a vagina I would have to conclude that he was, in fact, either mentally ill or suffering from severe psychological disorders. It has been proven that you cannot successfully raise a child who was born male as a female.
There are many documented cases of this. The most celebrated of these is the little twin boy whose penis was severely harmed during a circumcision. The Doctor convinced the parents that it was a lot easier to construct a vagina and that he would never have a functioning penis. Well, they tried. They gave him hormones and the doctor surgically constructed a vagina. He grew up as a “woman”. Guess what? It didn’t work. Deep within his “soul” he knew he was a man. Later on in life he tried transitioning back to male. The damage had already been done. He ended up taking his own life.
Let’s look at the spiritual or religious aspect of this. If this is truly a birth defect then how does religion enter into the equation at all? If a child is born with a Cleft palate and treatment is sought so the child will not have to go through life with this burden. Would you call that a sin? Would you deny that child treatment because “you didn’t think it was right”? God make mistakes. I do not believe God makes mistakes either. Yet He causes or allows all these birth defects to occur, including transsexualism. As a woman of very deep faith, I believe there is a reason for everything….. HIS reason. One that we may not understand. I truly believe deep within my soul that He allowed me to be born this way for His Purpose. Do I know what it is? No, but I think I am much closer right now than I have ever been. I DO walk His path every minute of every day. It may even be to spend the rest of my life trying to bring some light to people living in darkness as it concerns this medical condition. I not only talk the talk, I also walk the walk.
One’s Faith Journey is a very personal and private experience. Oh, it can be wonderful to enjoy the fellowship of other people of faith while worshipping together but, in the end, it all comes down to a personal relationship between us and our God. What anyone else says about me is irrelevent to that. I am very comfortable with my personal relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ and our common Father. I will pray that you are also. If you doubt, come and walk with me for awhile. You will be welcome.
Terri
If anyone is truly interest in this subject here is a link with great information.
http://harrybenjaminsyndrome-info.org/
Terri
I thought the show was excellent. My concern, what about what the bible says, boys shouldn’t dress like girls and vise versa?
Laurie……… I have trouble with what the bible says yes i am a christian but i knew i was different at 5 yrs old i prayed i could be just a plain person boy or girl but i suffered in the inbetween place called being transgendered.I went to bed with the bible under my pillow.. nothing happened no solace (sp)i told mom but this was in the 40’s yes over 60 years i have carried and kept this very difficult secret. At 11 i spent 3 days visiting family friends and i played dressup with their daughter. all day … i was so in heaven i knew this was right for once i felt normal yes normal.. as a guy i feel as thought i am pretending.. my wife just found out and now we are once again happy as i now feel so much better that she knows but to the world i’m still a guy.she was saddened that i never told her years ago.all these past years i suffered and my family suffered never knowing why i was always unhappy .now the family sees me as a much happier person but they do not know why and we will not tell them .. i wanted to die with this secret… Life was not easy hiding my true self
Laurie,
Ah, yes. What the Bible says. The difficulty with understanding the Bible is that so few know how to study it. The Christian who believes the Bible should be read as though it is a newspaper written today just for them is never going to comprehend very much of it. Who was speaking? Who were the listeners? What was the occasion? What was the authority for the dispensation? What was the social and political context of the scripture? What were the customs and traditions of the times and people? Much, perhaps most, of these can’t be discerned simply be reading a passage. Recall that Jewish writers (that’s just about all of them) wrote for meaning and not for factual history. Jews properly ask, “What does this mean?” while Americans ask, “What does this say?”
Concerning dressing in clothing of the opposite sex Deuteronomy 22:5 has a single sentence. Some scholars suggest the sanction is intended to prevent a person from performing a role or task assigned specifically to a certain sex. Virtually every role of responsibility and authority was given to men. Hence, for example, preventing women from entering certain parts of the temple or to approach the holy of holies mattered. This is about control rather than gender morality. Nonetheless, if you believe the purity codes are an essential part of your faith, you can’t pick out the ones you like and ignore the rest. Consider verse 28 which says if a man rapes a virgin he must pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver, marry the girl and never divorce her.
I am thankful that the Savior brought a new dispensation of mercy, love and common sense. But even in New Testament times knowledge was limited in many areas. Paul admonishes the Romans that men and women should not exchange natural relations for unnatural ones. That lesbian or gay relations might truly be “natural” for some humans isn’t known to Paul. Yet, Paul’s basic tenets are correct. He says, “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” He adds, “Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy.” Sexual immorality here is aimed at men and women with “natural” desires but immoral behavior.
All humans are fully capable and obliged to “behave decently.” No issues of gender identity or sexual orientation obviate or interfere with this universal foundation for living well.
I am still having trouble with the relationship of the Bible and being Transgendered.where do those trangendered people fit in who may not believe in the Bibles writtings?
My young adult daughter is gay and over the past 2 yrs. has decided she’s a man. I am accepting but do not think she should go thr