Family Pride’s Blog

On Friday night, I caught part of the much talked about 20/20 Barbara Walters interview with transgender children. Overall, I was impressed with the program and its portrayal of transgender youth and their families. In a time when legislation about gender identity and expression is being considered in a number of states, this kind of visibility is vital. I hope this show cleared up some of the misconceptions around gender identity and helped change the hearts and minds of the people who viewed it. If nothing else, it has definitely sparked an important dialogue.

Here are a few of the more than 50 comments we’ve gotten in response to our initial post about the episode:

I believe that knowledge is power. The information provided in Barbara Walter’s report on the issue of transgendered children was insightful and finally puts this sensitive issue into popular discussion.” - Bob

As the parent of a transgendered child who elected two months ago to end her life rather than continue with the abuse and embarresment from a “whollier-than-thou” self righteous “Christian” society, I was profoundly moved by Ms. Walters documentary. Ms. Walters captured the essence of the excrutiating pain that not only befalls the parent, but more importantly, the child.” - David and Linda

Even before I begin, let me say that I am that 5 year old child who is transgendered. Only that was 50 years ago and times were different then and gender stereotypes were different then too. So I am an expert on what happens throughout ones life when sexual reorientation “doesn’t” happen. I spent the last 24 hours since the broadcast thinking how very lucky those children are who have parents that will encourage and support their childs sexual direction.” - Daisy

Let us know what you think.

We are often emailed by LGBTQ parents or allies across the country that have secured victories in their communities. These victories, big and small, are all important and are fundamentally shaping the family equality movement. They are important reminders that victories don’t just occur in legislators and courtrooms, but rather in classrooms, neighborhoods and living rooms across the country.

Victory is turning a friend into an ally, or donating LGBTQ family books to a school library. Victory is telling an extended family member about why family equality is important to everyone. Victory is changing just one heart or one mind.

We recognize that small actions result in big change. These victories are important, and we want to share them with the greater Family Pride community.

As such, we’ve created a new tab at the top of this blog. In addition to tabs that read “home,” “about” and “banners,” you’ll notice a new tab: “victory.” This is your page to share your victories (or the victories of your loved ones, friends or the local community) with the world.

To list a victory, simply post it as a comment to the page. Let’s spread the word and recognize one and other for the accomplishments we are making across this country.

It’s no secret that the times are changing. The information age has birthed the connected age - a world of blogs, message boards, wikis, social networks, RSS feeds and countless other tools that are functional, fast and free. The world is getting smaller and we’re more connected than ever before. Information is exchanged at break neck speeds and, through the internet, grassroots advocacy and action are ignited faster and more effectively than ever.

In this new world, power is pushed to the edges. Everyday citizens are given a stronger voice and the tools to express it. Everyday citizens are given the ability to affect change like never before.

A recent article by Lane Hudson points to the fact that the gay rights movement must wake up to the importance of the blogosphere. It was picked up by Pam’s House blend and brought to our attention by Mombian:

It seems that the gay rights movement may be the least adept at knowing their value. At a recent event, a leader in the local DC gay rights movement told me that he “hates” blogs. Other gay rights leaders have been tone deaf when it comes to working with the blogosphere.”

We couldn’t agree with Lane Hudson more. With the advent of the blogosphere, organizations can no longer view themselves as “mouthpieces.” Dialogue occurs in two directions. And dialogue is necessary to strengthen this movement as a whole. This new, more connected world isn’t a threat - it’s an opportunity of monumental proportions.

Everyday, at Family Pride, we challenge ourselves to “wake up” just a little bit more to this new and exciting world. We recognize that people are much more likely to be part of a plan or a movement if they have a say in shaping it. It’s why we encourage people to comment on our blog, write guest posts and give us feedback. It’s why our new website plan is being shaped by our supporters through wikis.

As we continue to challenge ourselves and the organization to open new doors and travel new avenues, we want your input every step of the way. This is your movement.

Embracing the blogosphere is just scratching the surface. Wikis, social networks and other new technologies are powerful tools that are reshaping the way we interact and the way we work. Ultimately, if we use these tools effectively, we will be smarter, more strategic and more powerful than ever.

The world has changed. Let’s challenge ourselves to embrace it.

What do you think?

Tomorrow, April 26, is national “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.” Celebrate the 15th anniversary of this annual program by taking your children to your workplace. “Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day” was founded by the Ms. Foundation for Women to create an opportunity for children to share and communication their expectations for the future.

As parents, we also have some expectations for our children’s future. We work to create a world that recognizes, respects, protects and celebrates all loving families. We believe that families are defined by love and commitment. We envision a country that celebrates a diversity of family constellations and that respects and commends individuals for stepping up, supporting one another and creating families.

Statistics show that when non-LGBTQ people know 3 or more LGBTQ people personally, they are more likely to support equality. Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day is the perfect opportunity to make your family visible and change hearts and minds across this country.

As many of may have heard, last week R Family Vacations, organizers of vacations designed specifically for the gay and lesbian community, announced that they would be rerouting their July 2007 R Family Cruise amid warnings of protests. Over the last several months, Gregg and Kelli were repeatedly warned by Bermuda officials that there was a serious and vocal contingent of local churches planning to protest our arrival at the Bermuda stop. Because of this, the R Family team decided to reroute the cruise to Port Canaveral and Key West.

I want to write to you to express my support for R Family Vacations and their decision to reroute the July 2007 cruise. As you know Family Pride has an incredible partnership with R Family that allows them to entertain your families while Family Pride provides critical education about our battle for equality.

I understand the difficult choices that those who plan events for our families are sometimes faced with and I unequivocally support the decision to reroute the July cruise. The fact that Gregg and Kelli’s number one concern is to ensure the safety and fun for our families on these very special vacations is to be applauded.

I understand that some people might be disappointed by the change in itinerary or concerned that we not back down to threats from hate mongers. However, Gregg and Kelli respect that not every family would want to be involved in such a highly charged encounter and made the decisions that protects ALL families. We support Gregg & Kelli’s belief that being political on a family vacation should be a choice – not required by all those on board.

Gregg and Kelli have promised families one thing – fun, inclusive family vacations for LGBT parents, their children and those who love them. They are not a political organization and I think we should understand that they are honoring the mission statement of their business. They do, however, provide very generous support to many of the LGBT organizations that do the important work of fighting for our equality – including Family Pride. Our exclusive partnership with R Family Vacations exists precisely because they want to support an organization that is best equipped to do the work of educating, activating, engaging and challenging people about their stereotypes and misinformation about LGBT people and parents. That is why, with R Family Vacations support, we will continue the work of making sure our families are accepted in every corner of our country and beyond.

As usual, Family Pride will be providing all of the educational content, training and workshops aboard the cruise and we will speak specifically about how parents can advocate on behalf of the children and their families in the face of hostile environments. I urge you to attend one or more of these workshops as a step in ensuring a better world for our families and our children.

I strongly urge you to express your support of our families by joining me and R Family Vacations on the July Cruise from New York. One of the best ways we can show the Bermuda officials the harm the hate mongers caused is to remind them of the success of this cruise and the lost opportunity for Bermuda in not hosting our wonderful families as tourists in their country.

I look forward to seeing you all on this cruise – and thank you in advance for your continued support of R Family Vacations. This unique business is vitally important for our community and I hope you will do everything in your power to ensure its success – including traveling with us in July to fun ports of call.

Jennifer Chrisler, Executive Director
Family Pride

Our friends at TransKids Purple Rainbow, a national advocacy organization for transgender children, gave us a heads up about an exciting project that they have been working on with Barbara Walters and ABC News.

TransKids Purple Rainbow stated:

We hope to reach out to others who are in pain and have no where else to turn for help.  We also hope to educate those who can’t imagine how a little child could actually express that he or she was born trapped in the wrong body. 

The show will air on Friday, April 27th on ABC at 10:00PM but check local listings.

It seems that our participation in the Kevin Bacon Challenge is the gift that keeps on giving! Not only did the competition result in over $40,000 for our important work (making schools safe and inclusive, defeating anti-family legislation and promoting pro-family legislation, ensuring that LGBTQ families are present in the media, building community power through OUTSpoken trainings and local parents groups, and a long list of publications and resources), but it has also been an amazing opportunity for our families to be visible.

Just a few days ago, Family Pride co chair Ken Manford had a ten minute conversation with Kevin Bacon about LGBTQ families and why this fight for equality is so important (see his guest post). The conversation was recorded by our friends at sixdegrees.org (who hosted the Kevin Bacon Challenge). And now, it’s available to download! To listen to the full 10 minute interview with Kevin Bacon, click here. To listen to an abridged 3 minute interview, click here.

Tonight, Friday, April 20, Kevin Bacon is going to announce the six winners on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. So, set your VCRs and TiVos once again - and call up your family and friends who made this competition such a success.

As I look back on this competition, one thing stands out. As a community of LGBTQ parents and allies - friends, teachers, neighbors and coworkers - we are tremendously powerful. We are making change and building a better, more inclusive world for our families. With this struggle is coming great progress.

Situated smack-dab between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is this year’s 2nd annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day on June 1st. It is a day when Bloggers of all sexual orientations and gender identities come together and write in celebration and support of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) families.

The event was developed by LGBT-parenting site Mombian and is sponsored by all of us at Family Pride (yay!). Together, we will raise awareness of LGBT families, their diverse backgrounds and how current discrimination is negatively impacting all families.

Our friend Dana Rudolph, founder and publisher of Mombian, explained:

I chose June 1 because it falls almost exactly between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. As such, it honors both equally, but also conveys that not all families fit into the traditional structure of one mother and one father. June 1st is also the start of Gay Pride Month, making it doubly appropriate.”

Last year, over 130 bloggers participated in Blogging for LBGT Families Day including lesbian moms, gay dads, adult children of LGBT parents, members of the transgender community, LGBT individuals without children, and non-LGBT allies. Countries represented included the United States as well as Australia, Canada, and the UK. Some bloggers told stories about their paths to parenthood, or tales about their children; some wrote about LGBT relatives or friends; others discussed current political events; and several spoke of why their faith compels them to support LGBT rights. Many affirmed that love was the defining characteristic of a family.

Dana went on to say:

Sharing our stories and opinions with each other and the world helps us realize our similarities and respect our differences. It gives strength to the LGBT community and our allies and helps others understand us. They can see that anti-LGBT legislation affects real families.”

Any blogger who supports the goal of the event is welcome to participate, whether they are LGBT or straight, parents or not. To do so, bloggers should write relevant posts on or before June 1, and notify Mombian that they are taking part. Mombian will showcase the full list of participants on June 1. The choice of subject is up to individual writers. Topics might include family anecdotes, paths to parenthood, a local or national issue of LGBT family rights, being raised in an LGBT family, having an LGBT relative, or what someone has learned from the LGBT family down the street.

For more details about the event, or to download promotional banners, visit Mombian’s Blogging for LGBT Families page.

We had a good chuckle this morning when this Doonesbury comic strip was forwarded along to us - and thought we should share it with you. Take a look:

Facts and figures often change when it comes to gay and lesbian parenting. Adoption and foster care are areas where this is particularly true. The Williams and Urban Institutes recently released an updated study on these issues, combining data from a number of reliable sources and taking a fresh look at things. Authored by Gary J. Gates , M.V. Lee Badgett, Jennifer Macomber and Kate Chambers, the study, “Adoption and Foster Care by Lesbian and Gay Parents in the United States,” is full of interesting findings, some of which are excerpted below.

(All statements are directly excerpted from study unless marked with an asterisk*. Otherwise, we’ve condensed some data for readability.)

Parenting and Adoption

• An estimated 27% of same-sex couples identified in Census 2000 have a child under 18 living in the home with them.
• More than half of gay men and 41% of lesbians express the desire to have a child. The percentage for gay men (52%) is higher than that of heterosexual and bisexual men (33% each).*
• An estimated 2,000,000 GLB people are interested in adopting.
• Approximately 65,000 adopted children are being raised by lesbian or gay parents, accounting for more than 4% of all adopted children in the United States.
• Gay and lesbian adoptive parents (uncoupled) represent nearly one in six single parents raising adopted children.*
• In four racial/ethnic categories, same-sex couples adopt children of color at a slightly higher rate than married heterosexual couples.* The racial/ethnic breakdown of children adopted by same-sex couples is 53% white, 14% African-American, 18% Hispanic/Latino(a), and 11% Asian/Pacific Islander. The breakdown for children of married heterosexual couples is 63% white, 11% African/American, 13% Hispanic/Latino(a), and 8% Asian/Pacific Islander.
• The top five states/districts in terms of the percentage of adopted children living with gay or lesbian parents are as follows: District of Columbia (28.6%), Massachusetts (16.4%), California (9.8%), New Mexico (9.0%), Alaska (8.6%).*
• On average, same-sex couples raising adopted children are older, more (formally) educated, and have more economic resources than other adoptive parents: The average household income for same-sex couples raising adopted children is $102,474, versus $81,900 for different-sex married couples, $43,746 for different-sex unmarried couples, and $36,312 for single parents. Same-sex couples hold graduate degrees at 34%, versus different-sex married couples at 13%, different-sex unmarried couples at 2% and single parents at 9%.

Parenting and Foster Care

• An estimated 10,300 foster children live with a lesbian or gay foster parent, accounting for nearly 3% of all of foster children in the Untied States and 6% of foster children living in non-kin family foster care placements.
• Almost 40% of all agencies and 83% of public agencies reported making at least one adoption placement with a lesbian or gay man. However, one-third of agencies would reject a gay or lesbian applicant, either because of the religious beliefs guiding the agency, a state law prohibiting placement with GLB parents, or a policy of placing children only with married couples. Additionally, agency heads are more likely to have negative views towards gays and lesbians adopting when they associate such adoptions with greater evaluation and support needs.*
• Among the more than a third of foster parents who are single, one in seven is a lesbian or gay parent.
• Single foster parents are more likely than others to be African-American (51%) and less likely to be white (31 percent). Foster children of single parents are more likely to be African-American (52%) and less likely to be white (26%) than children in other family types. Among foster families headed by couples, in contrast, approximately half of foster children are white and about 20% are African-American and an additional 20% are Latino(a).
• One recent study of Midwestern youth who are or were in foster care found that almost 7% identified as homosexual or bisexual.
• As of September 2005, 10,000 of the roughly 500,000 children in foster care (2%) had run away from their placement.
• The portion of foster children with a disability is highest among those in same-sex couple households (32%).
• Roughly 60% of all adoptions of children in foster care are by their foster parents.
• Prohibiting GLB people from fostering would cost an estimated $87 to $130 million dollars nationwide
• Prohibiting GLB people from fostering would result in the removal of 9,000 to 14,000 children from existing foster families.

At Family Pride, we believe in keeping our community up-to-date on the research that affects our families. Subscribe to the Family Pride blog to stay in the know, tell a friend, and spread the word!