to be (out) or not to be (out)
admin on Mar 2nd 2007
Yes, that is the question.
And it’s not always an easy question to anticipate or answer. You bump into a coworker in the elevator, and she asks you about your night. Last night, you went on a date with your partner. How do you reply? Do you skirt the question or do you reply with honesty?
Outing yourself happens when you least expect it. If you’re a lesbian couple, it is likely that people have asked you if you’re sisters or friends. In that moment, you are faced with a decision. What would you say?
There’s no right answer. But we do know this: non-LGBTQ people are more likely to support family equality when they know three or more LGBTQ people personally. While doing an OUTSpoken training in California, Trina Olson (our former program and education manager) explains the connection as only she can:
So, because Trina’s friend keeps Trina’s best interests at heart, she stands up for family equality. More than anything, she wants Trina to be safe and happy. Because she knows Trina, she’s an ally. That’s how it works.
Of course, it’s important to keep safety in mind. Family Pride encourages LGBTQ families to be out, but only as out as they can safely be. Safety is a consideration, but it’s not an excuse. We support the visibility of LGBTQ families because that is what changes hearts and minds. For that reason, we encourage LGBTQ parents to be active in their communities:
- Attend PTA meetings and speak out
- Write op-eds and letters to the editor of local newspapers about family equality
- Volunteer to be a homeroom mom or dad
- Visit or call legislators
- Run for school board
Of course, if you’re going to be out and speak out, you need to know what to say. Download a copy of Family Pride’s Speaker’s Toolkit. It will arm you with the best language, effective messaging and a strong strategy.
