does your family have the proper documentation?
admin on Mar 22nd 2007
The following guest blog is authored by PFLAG Transgender Network President Dave Parker.
Recently, a lesbian couple was traveling with their two children. They were not carrying Power of Attorney for health care, financial matters, or their children’s adoption papers. One of them died in a sudden accident; her body was taken away by medical personnel, and the partner was refused admittance to the hospital bedside. The children have lost one parent – and there is a threat to remove the children from the other parent’s custody.
Don’t let this happen to you!
Do you always carry documentation with you? When you are traveling, the documents you leave at home are of no value – illness, accidents or traffic stops can lead to unpleasant situations, and the results can be tragic.
For GLBT families, that means any necessary Power of Attorney forms – especially for health care and for child custody. For trans persons, that also means any therapist letters or legal name change documents that indicate anything other than what is on your drivers’ license or passport.
Most GLBT families recognize the need to document their relationship. Do you realize that legal papers that convey rights “similar in substance” to legal marriage rights ARE NOT VALID under many recently-passed state marriage amendments? Some states will not honor out-of-state documentation, even if the documents are valid in the holders’ home state. To avoid any such potential problems, ALL documents should be similar to those appropriate to unrelated parties.
Documents you should have and carry with you include:
- Passports for everyone in your family. Recent laws require passports for every person attempting to return from outside the US. If you have an old passport, renew it now. If you do not have a passport, get one. It currently takes 10 to 12 weeks to get a passport, and that delay is likely to increase.
- Powers of Attorney for family member for health care and child care where appropriate.
- Adoption papers where appropriate, recognizing that some states WILL NOT HONOR adoption by both same-sex parents. That’s why you need a Power of Attorney for child care.
- A Living Trust that lists you and your partner as joint trustees with survivorship. Include secondary trustees in the event of the death of both partners to ensure that all property will go where you direct it.
Use the sample documents to prepare your thoughts and records for discussion with your attorney, who will prepare the final, official documents. Have several copies of each signed and notarized, then make sure your partner and friends have copies.
And ALWAYS – 100% of the time – carry copies with you. You never know when you will need them.
About Dave Parker: Dave is a retired technical writer whose second child came out as a male-to-female transsexual in the spring of 2001. Dave researched gender identity, and joined PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) later in the year. While at the PFLAG National Convention in 2002, Dave and his wife were invited to join PFLAG Transgender Network (TNET), a nation-wide loose affiliation of PFLAG members with transgender children of all ages. In February, 2004, Dave was elected President of PFLAG TNET, a position he still holds. During his tenure, PFLAG TNET has become an incorporated chapter of PFLAG. In November, 2004 Dave was elected to the PFLAG national Board of Directors.
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