Family Pride’s Blog

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.”
-Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Family equality affects everyone. The bottom line is, family equality is not about gay or straight, it’s about FAMILY. It’s about recognizing, protecting, respecting and celebrating all loving families. Gay families are denied basic rights like Social Security survivor benefits and hospital visitation rights. An injustice to one family is an injustice to all families.

In this connected age, we have the tools, the ability and power to affect profound change. As bloggers and members of the online community, we have to ability to reach millions of people at our fingertips. Because of this, we have the responsibility to use this power for the betterment of society.

You can win a victory for family equality. Your social network is extensive and powerful - you are connected to family members, friends, and acquaintances across the country, both online and off. Harness the power of your social network to ignite change. Harness the power of your social network to secure a victory for family equality.

Family Pride, the national nonprofit organization for family equality, is competing to win a $10,000 matching grant from Kevin Bacon. The top six organizations, ranked by the number of donations (not the dollar amount), will receive the prize. Currently, we’re ranked 4th.  We’re literally a handful of donations ahead of prizeless 7th place - one or two donations will make or break this competition.

How will we win? First, by donating just $10 to the challenge. Remember, it’s the number of donations that count - not the actual amount. And second, by mobilizing our social networks. Time is running out - the competition ends Saturday, March 31st at 11:59 PM EST. We must act now!

As a blogging community, we can do this! Let’s take a stand for family equality and bring home the Bacon!

As lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) parents and guardians, we know all too well the innocent but difficult questions that our children ask. Offering honest, simple answers is the best strategy for answering many of the questions that children ask.

By age four, many children will ask, “Where did I come from?” For LGBTQ parents and guardians, that could mean many things. We create our families through adoption, donor insemination, surrogacy and blended families. Here are some possible responses:

• adoption: Children who are adopted can be told the story of meeting their adoptive parent or parents for the first time, including the ways in which their family wanted and planned for them. Books with related themes can be used to help the child relate to other similar experiences.
• donor insemination: Sometimes adults have a hard time discussing things like donor insemination. Preparing simple answers ahead of time to the questions you know are coming can help you feel more comfortable, such as: “Your mommy and I wanted to have a baby. You grew from a special people egg in mommy’s body in a place called the womb.”

  If pressed further, you can discuss the introduction of sperm by saying, “We also needed a seed from a man, which is called a sperm, to help the egg grow into a baby. Our doctor helped us find someone who wanted to help us make a baby. The seed and the egg grew to be you.”

• surrogacy: Surrogacy can handled with a simple explanation such as, “Your daddies wanted to have a baby. You grew in a woman’s body in a special place called a womb until you were ready to be born. Then daddy and I were able to bring you home to our house.” Later, language like “birth mother” can be included to help the child understand the relationships.

Note: Because children at this stage associate mother and father as relationships that children have with people, be cautious about using terms like “father” or “mother” to describe sperm donors or surrogates unless you have made the decision to include them in a parenting relationship.

• blended families: Children in blended families from previous heterosexual relationships or previous gay and lesbian relationships need to be able to talk about their families of origin as well as the relationships they have with the people with whom they currently live. If you are able to discuss your new relationship honestly and openly by saying things such as, “Chris and I love each other and want to live together,” it will help the children understand how their family has changed. Children need to hear that former partners still love them and that they can still love all their parents without hurting anyone. Allowing children to develop in their relationship with a new partner at a comfortable pace and using language that they choose (such as stepfather, “Mom’s friend,” “my other Mom”) gives them a sense of control over their relationships.

What are some responses that have worked for you? Please share them by leaving a comment on this post.

 Some 60 gay and lesbian families have made the commitment to attend the 2007 White House Egg Roll. Gay and lesbian families will wear rainbow colored leis to increase our visibility. Family Pride and our supporters fundamentally understand that by making our families visible, we change hearts and minds across this country.

We are thrilled to be participating in this great American tradition - a tradition, it’s worth noting, that isn’t without controversy. In 1954, Mamie Eisenhower raised eyebrows by hosting the first desegregated Egg Roll.

Is this a protest of the administration’s policy toward gay families? No. We are, however, helping the administration understand that gay families do exist in this country and deserve the rights and protections that all families need. Perhaps it’s a message that will ring louder this year given the announcement of the Vice-President’s lesbian daughter that she and her partner are pregnant.

Last year, Family Pride and gay and lesbian families attended the White House Egg Roll in masse. Our families were included in the national conversation, with coverage on every major network around the country. Let’s reintroduce our families to the nation!

This is a celebration of all families. We want to give our fellow citizens the opportunity to see us as real families, participating in a great American tradition on the White House lawn. We believe that by participating fully as American families in traditions like the egg roll, America will come to know us better and recognize that loves makes a family.

For more information about Family Pride’s 2007 White House Egg Roll (or to sing up), visit www.familypride.org/eggroll.

Many celebrities are saying no to marriage. That is, until marriage is legal for gay and lesbian couples in the United States. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, as well as Charlize Therone and Stuart Townsend, have all stated that they won’t tie the knot until marriage discrimination comes to an end.

Marriage is the only currency of commitment that this country understands. In this day and age, civil unions have been getting support by such outspoken politicians as Hillary Clinton (she made her position clear at a recent Human Rights Campaign board meeting); but, it’s important to recognize that civil unions are not marriage. And separate has never been equal. It never has been and never will be.

While images of “white only” drinking fountains immediately come to mind, it is not a stretch to think of the movement for family equality in terms of a civil rights framework. Our movement, our struggle, is not an isolated one. There are lessons to be learned from history.

On May 17, 1954 the United States Supreme Court announced its decision (in Brown v. Board of Education) that separate educational facilities are inherently unequal. The Supreme Court ruled that segregation violates the 14th amendment to the United States Constitution - which guarantees all citizens equal protection under the law.

Canadians for Equal Marriage invoked the civil rights frame in a powerful ad campaign. Check out this clip:

Aristotle once said, “The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.” Well over two thousand years later, his words still ring true.

I, for one, am glad to see that celebrities like Angelina, Brad and Charlize are using their visibility to increase awareness.

Family Pride is thrilled to be partnering with Two Lives Publishing to launch the first ever lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) Family Drawing Contest! What’s the contest all about? Youth of all ages are encouraged to create a drawing of their family on our downloadable and printable registration form. Parent(s)/guardian(s) can fill out the registration information and send it along to our judges for review.

First place prize is a generously donated $250 savings bond, Disney character stuffed animals and Family Pride t-shirts for the whole family! The second place prize is a $100 gift certificate to Two Lives Publishing - our favorite source for LGBTQ family-friendly children’s books. Everyone who enters will be recognized. The winning artwork will be selected through a public voting process on the Family Pride website. The artwork will be used to create a free, downloadable picture book of our families.

For complete details, visit www.familypride.org/contest and download the registration form. All entries must be received by April 30 to be eligible. Questions or comments? Let us know.

A few days ago, we posted about six things that Family Pride can do for you right now. We know that this national conversation about family equality is a two-way street; our supporters actively participate in our work to shape what we all do. So, now that you know what we can do for you, today we’re going to highlight six easy things that you can do for the family equality movement that won’t cost a dime.

1. Tell five friends about Family Pride (and we’ll even send you a free t-shirt). Family Pride is the national organization for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) parents, guardians and allies. Word of mouth is the best form of publicity. Use our simple form to tell five friends about us, and we’ll mail you a fabulous Family Pride t-shirt.
2. Join our eNews. We send out a monthly eNewsletter with our very latest projects, information about the family equality movement and our upcoming events. Stay in the loop by signing up today.
3. Participate in our blog. It’s super easy to get our blog updates by email. Also, leave us comments on our posts - we encourage input, feedback and criticisms. In addition, we’ve created stylish family equality banners that you can add to your site or blog. And, if you have something to say, we’ve got a place for you to say it; we love expanding our voice to include posts by guest bloggers. Just let us know.
4. Translate one of our publications. We strive to make our publications as accessible as possible. We’d love to offer them in other languages - especially Spanish. If you’re up for the challenge, please let us know!
5. Give us feedback for our new website. We’re in the brainstorming phase of creating a new website. Since our work is shaped by your wants and needs, let us know what you’d like to see. We’ve created a website brainstorming wiki. Add your ideas today!
6. Tell your friends about the Kevin Bacon Challenge. Family Pride is in the final stretch of a great campaign that is harnessing the power of social networks to ignite social change. It’s a fun contest, and it directly supports the work of Family Pride. The most important thing you can do is mobilize your social networks of friends, family members, teachers, neighbors, coworkers, etc. to be a part of this exciting campaign. Learn about it here.

Of course, these are just a few of the many ways that our members participate in the movement for family equality. If you want some more ideas, or if we can support you in your participation, let us know! And feel free to comment with a few ideas of your own.

The following guest blog is authored by PFLAG Transgender Network President Dave Parker.

Recently, a lesbian couple was traveling with their two children. They were not carrying Power of Attorney for health care, financial matters, or their children’s adoption papers. One of them died in a sudden accident; her body was taken away by medical personnel, and the partner was refused admittance to the hospital bedside. The children have lost one parent – and there is a threat to remove the children from the other parent’s custody.

Don’t let this happen to you!

Do you always carry documentation with you?  When you are traveling, the documents you leave at home are of no value – illness, accidents or traffic stops can lead to unpleasant situations, and the results can be tragic. Continue Reading »

By harnessing the power of technology, much of our work is only a mouse click away. Our work is our work in the greater sense of the word; it is conceived, created and put together by the in-office team, interns, volunteers and dedicated lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) parents and allies all across this country. Here are six things we can do for you right now:

1. Connect you to a local parents group. Our most popular feature is our ever-growing list of local parents groups organized by state. Check it out now, and find a group in your community. If there isn’t a group near you, and you’d like to start one, we have some great tools. Contact us if you start a parents group!
2. Give you the tools to make schools safer and more inclusive. School safety is a huge concern for LGBTQ parents. Family Pride offers an array of tools to make sure all loving families are represented and celebrated in schools communities. Start out by downloading the Back to School Tool for a brief but powerful overview. Then, delve in deeper with Opening Doors and Opening More Doors.
3. Network you to another parent. No one understands better than another LGBTQ parent or ally. Family Pride will match you up based a brief questionnaire. COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) offers a pen pal program for youth, as well. Get started now!
4. Support your children. Family Pride created Talking to Our Children to help families meet the needs of their children while facing statewide and federal level attacks on our relationships and our families. This guide will help you navigate through difficult situations, and includes age-appropriate ways for talking about our families.
5. Arm you with the best messaging and information. Knowledge is power - when you know how to use it. You can download Family Pride’s OUTSpoken Speakers Toolkit right now and learn about the best ways to talk about your family and fight for equality at the local, state and national levels. You can even sign up for an upcoming in-person training (we’re heading to Michigan and Florida in the next few weeks).
6. Build community. We’ve put together a comprehensive calendar of events - not just Family Pride’s events - but many events that are pertinent to the family equality movement. Maybe you want to attend Family Week in Provincetown, or perhaps you’re interested in attending an LGBTQ parents’ conference. Check out our calendar of events (and let us know if you have an event that you want listed).

We hope you take advantage of these powerful tools, resources and networking opportunities that we’ve worked hard to make available. Leave us a comment and let us know your thoughts, feelings or criticisms. We love hearing from you, as your feedback shapes our future work.

Today is the 6th National Back Up Your Birth Control Day of Activism. The 2007 Day of Activism is dedicated to spreading the word to teens about emergency contraception (EC) as a safe and effective method of back up birth control. Efforts this year will address the new ‘dual-label’ environment, in which adults no longer need a prescription to obtain EC, but teens younger than 18 do. The campaign will continue the longstanding tradition of EC education and outreach through provider and public education, and policy debates about EC. Family Pride is proud to be a co-sponsor of this campaign to spread awareness about EC and the misinformation surrounding it. (Click here for the facts about EC.)

Why, you may wonder, are issues like birth control and choice important for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ)-headed families? As it turns out, the connection between reproductive freedom and sexual freedom are deep and intertwining. The 1973 Roe v Wade decision established a right to privacy guaranteed by the 14th amendment…. that same right to privacy served as the precedent in the 2003 Lawrence v Texas decision which declared that same-sex relations between consenting adults shall no longer by criminalized. Continue Reading »

Moms and dads are always asking us to recommend our favorite inclusive children’s books with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) characters, families or themes. We talked to our good friends Bobbie and Sally at Two Lives Publishing, and here are our top picks.

For children 3-5 years of age, we recommend the delightful picture book Different Dragon. This bedtime story about bedtime stories shows how the wonderful curiosity and care of a little boy, with some help from his willing moms, can lead to magical and unexpected places. Join Noah and his cat, Diva, on this nighttime adventure and you too will leave with an unforgettable new dragon friend! This paperback sells for $10.95. Buy it now.

For kids 5-9 years of age, Families is a top seller. In frank, funny, and touching interviews, children from fifteen different families (including one two-dad family and one two-mom family) talk about the ups and downs of their home lives. Presented along with the children’s own words are great color photographs of their families. This hardcover book is also great to donate to school libraries, and can be purchased for $15.99. Buy it now.

For youth ages 7-12, The Case of the Stolen Scarab is a sure hit. When the Taylor-Michaelson family - Nikki and Travis and their two moms - buy an old inn in Vermont, they don’t expect their first visitor to be the local sheriff with news of a robbery - and their second to be a bedraggled hiker with amnesia! Soon Nikki and Travis find themselves trying to solve a mystery that steadily grows more complicated - and perhaps dangerous as well. Buy it now.

If you have any other great LGBTQ-inclusive book ideas, be sure to leave a comment on this post. Check out our eStore for additional titles!