Family Pride’s Blog

We’ve heard a lot of talk about the gay agenda. But what exactly is it? Here’s my gay agenda:

1. Schedule next play date for my kids
2. Be treated fairly and equally
3. Buy milk

I just don’t see what’s so threatening about my gay agenda. I think my agenda is quite reasonable. In fact, I think that my gay agenda is the same as the agenda of any loving parent. We want to protect our families. We want teach our children values like love and respect. And, most of all, we want our kids to be safe.

Unfortunately, our children aren’t safe. Schools aren’t inclusive. Just yesterday, the associated press announced that the Utah Senate would be debating a bill that allowed schools to prevent the formation of gay-straight alliances. Such prevention could occur if the formation of a gay-straight alliance would threaten the “moral well-being” of students. Is there something immoral about equality? Is there something immoral about providing a safe-space for LGBTQ students? It’s a ridiculous debate.

However, there are a lot of tangible things we can do to make schools safer and more inclusive. Here’s a great list to start from:

1. Donate inclusive books to school libraries
2. Make sure school forms read parent/guardian instead of “mother” and “father”
3. If you’re an LGBTQ parent, be as “out” as is safely possible
4. Attend school board and PTA meetings (and run for office!)
5. Check for bullying policies (and if your school doesn’t have a policy, contact the right people to create one)

You see, as parents, that which bring us together is so much stronger than that which divides us. We want our children to be safe. And the reality is, they’re not. The responsibility is on you and me. Family Pride is here to help.

Take the first step in ensuring safe schools and inclusive curriculum by signing up for our eNewsletter below.

Then, download and print out Back to School: Building Family Equality in Every Classroom. Share it with friends, family, and most importantly, school administrators and faculty.

This isn’t about “gay” or “straight.” It’s about the safety of all children.

Wednesday is Valentine’s Day. A lot of couples will be tying the (government-sanctioned) knot, but with the exception of Massachusetts, none of them will be queer.

We first got wind of Freddie Oakley from one of our newly trained OUTSpoken participants. Freddie Oakley is in charge of issuing marriage certificates for Yolo County in California; she is straight, married for 37 years to the same man, a mother, and an Evangelical Christian. And, she is an ally.

California law prevents Oakley from issuing marriage certificates to gay and lesbian couples. Oakley believes that preachers should be kept out of politics, stating “I don’t go down and tell my pastor how to preach and I don’t want him to stand behind my counter.”

In protest of California’s discriminatory marriage law, Oakley will be issuing certificates of her own. She calls it a “Certificate of Inequality.”

Oakley’s protest has drawn a lot of attention - and a lot of nasty responses. It’s time we show her some support. Send Oakley an email. Let her know that we value her commitment to equality. She’s standing up for us. Let’s stand up for her.

We found out yesterday that Actor Kevin Bacon launched a charitable website, http://www.sixdegrees.org and its goal is to use the idea of “six degrees of separation” to raise funds for worthy non-profits. Family Pride’s Board Co-Chair, Ken Manford, is taking advantage of this new fundraising tool to raise money for Family Pride. Check out this video with Family Pride executive director Jennifer Chrisler.

What makes this news even more exciting is that Kevin Bacon has pledged to personally match $10,000 for the non-profits represented by the top six fundraisers. We’re especially enthusiastic about it because of its grassroots, community-building approach - fundraisers are ranked by the number of donations they receive, not the amount.

And it couldn’t have come at a better time. The political spotlight was cast on our families when Mary Cheney and Heather Poe announced that they were going to become parents. Because they are gay, their decision to start a family was criticized by fundamentalists as “unconscionable.” And, once again, the Right is misquoting research about LGBTQ-headed families and spreading blatant lies about us.

We’re doing our part to stand up for the truth and OUTSpoken families and allies across the country are doing theirs. They learn how to tell their family stories by attending intensive trainings. When they speak in their communities, they counter the vitriolic misinformation spread by fundamentalists.

But in order to continue to spread the facts about our families, Family Pride needs to raise $10,000 by Wednesday, February 14 to arm 500 new families with OUTSpoken toolkits. When you contribute to the campaign now, you will us reach our goal of $10,000 by February 14. Remember, it’s about the total number of donations - not the total amount. Whether you give $50 or $500, your donation will make a huge difference.

We invite you to join us in the fight for truth by donating to Family Pride by clicking here or through the badge below:

Family Pride is excited to announce our collaboration with R Family Vacations at Family Week in Provincetown, MA from July 28th - August 4. In addition, Family Pride will become the exclusive education providers on issues affecting gay and lesbian families on all R Family Vacation cruises. This groundbreaking collaboration will provide the best in entertainment and education to the thousands of families that participate in these unique vacations for gay and lesbian families.

In its 12th year, family week 2007 will be held from July 28th - August 4th, 2007, and anticipates over 500 gay and lesbian families in attendance.

R Family Vacations will bring their expertise in Gay and Lesbian family entertainment by creating family themed events including beach bonfires, picnics, dances, carnivals, a pirate dinner, as well as R Family’s own R- aMAHzing Race. Family Pride Coalition will continue to offer all of the workshops and educational content during Family Week.

R Family Vacations are best known for their large cruise ship vacations for Gay & Lesbian families. This past year the company was profiled in HBO’s documentary titled, “Rosie’s Gay Family Cruise,” and garnered two Emmy nominations. Rosie O’Donnell, whose partner Kelli O’Donnell, and Gregg Kaminsky, together run R Family Vacations, said this about the new partnership, “I am thrilled that R Family Vacations is now going to be involved in producing Family Week in Provincetown. We actually started R Family Vacations because Kelli and I took our kids to Family Pride’s Family Week and I saw the effect that it had on my children.” Gregg added, “We have been supporters of Family Pride for years and we are so excited to announce this formal partnership. We are both confident that together we are going to create the best Family Week ever. We are also honored that Family Pride will provide all of the workshops and speakers on all of our cruises.”

Jennifer Chrisler, Executive Director of Family Pride, said, “This is a perfect collaboration because we will each be able to do what we do best. Family Pride through strategic initiatives, groundbreaking programs and legislative battles, is dedicated to securing equality for all loving families. We are committed to making change, sharing information, and building community. R Family Vacations is the industry leader in Gay and Lesbian family travel. Our partnership ensures we are offering our families spectacular entertainment and outstanding value.”

For all the latest updates, sign up for our eNews.

10 years of work :: 10 years of change :: 10 years closer to equality

Freedom to Marry Week 2007, February 11-17, is fast approaching. This year we celebrate the 10th anniversary of a week which has grown from year to year, coast to coast, to highlight the need for marriage equality in our country. In the last ten years, we’ve seen great change and progress in our movement for equality, but we all know that there remains a great deal of work to do.

Same sex couples with children suffer unique challenges in connection with their exclusion from the rights and responsibilities that come with marriage. All families should enjoy the rights to keep our families safe, healthy, and secure for their futures.

Freedom to Marry Week offers an opportunity to engage your family, friends and neighbors in this important movement for fairness and equality for all of our families. Every year, right around Pres. Lincoln’s Birthday and Valentine’s Day, gay and non-gay people around the country gather in living rooms, rectories, parks and civic halls to celebrate our lives, our loves, our families and the victories of our movement from the year before.

Freedom to Marry Day, Sunday, February 11th, is a day to celebrate and share our stories, reflect on the values of equality and love, while also engaging our neighbors in the movement for equality and fairness. So, how can you become more involved? Below are a few ideas:

1. Learn the importance of storytelling and share your story at our Story Center. Hearing the stories of real people and how the denial of marriage makes a difference in their everyday lives, and the lives of their kids and loved ones, is the most effective way to help people understand how important ending discrimination in marriage is to millions of people across the country.
2. Write to family and friends telling them why you care about the freedom to marry, and asking them to care, too. Review our Sample Letter which you can use as a template to reach out to your circle of friends, acquaintances and fellow citizens in asking for their understanding and support in the fight against discrimination.
3. Contact your national and local elected representatives, urging them to support marriage equality and asking them to defend against any attempts to amend your state constitution or the U.S. Constitution.
4. Sign the Marriage Resolution, and share this resource as a tool to spark conversation about marriage equality.

In addition, in honor of this year’s 10th Anniversary, there are 3 new ways to get involved: a Photo contest, Video contest & special Mini-Grants for nonprofits.

Need more ideas? You can host a local event, have a house party, start a conversation at your house of worship, ask your library, bookseller or book group to read and discuss Why Marriage Matters: America, Equality and Gay People’s Right to Marry, have a picnic or party where diverse couples - gay and non-gay - and their children can come together, talk about how they can get involved and celebrate each other.

Freedom to Marry Week is filled with events, including those specifically targeted to diverse families including Mombian.com’s Freedom to Marry Blog Carnival, a play celebrating marriage equality in Philadelphia, and a slate of events bound to please all audiences in Houston, Texas. In order to learn more about Freedom to Marry Week and get involved, or plan your own event, visit Freedom to Marry’s website for resources and schedules.

With a new legislative session in full swing, it’s time to introduce your family to your elected officials. Research shows that non-LGBTQ people are more likely to support family equality if they know three or more LGBTQ people personally.

Keep in mind, your representatives include more than just congress-people; you may want to visit school board members, the mayor or local council members. Map out bus routes, hop in the mini-van or walk down to your local district offices. If you can’t get to the office in person, write a letter or make a phone call. Decisions are being made now that affect our families - every effort makes change.

At Family Pride, we know that small actions result in big change. To discover small actions that you and your family can take to increase the visibility of LGBTQ families, visit our publications and download 52 ways to be OUTSpoken.

February’s holidays encompass the entire spectrum of being an LGBT parent. Right at the center is Valentine’s Day, honoring love in all its varied forms. It is already used as the focal point of Freedom to Marry Week. After that comes President’s Day, given extra meaning this year as presidential candidates spring up like colds in a preschool. It reminds us of the political undercurrent that is never far from the surface of our lives, as courts and legislators make decisions that affect our families’ legal relationships and rights. All of February is, of course, Black History Month, and the chance to remember that the LGBT-rights movement is only one in a long sweep of such movements in American history.

Leading off the month, however, is Groundhog Day. This is a minor holiday, as they go, with no day off, no gift giving, and no presidential proclamations. It is one of those small bits of American tradition carefully instilled in our youth and useless since. Still, as parents, we pass the tradition on to our own children, and take the opportunity each year to remember our childhoods, when we first learned about the power of a furry rodent to predict the weather.

Love, politics, civil rights, and parenting. February has them all, packed into the shortest month of the year. Likewise, these subjects fill our lives. It is as impossible to separate them as it is to remove a holiday from February and still consider it the same month. This is one of the reasons Mary Cheney has caused so much debate with her demand that her child not be used as a political tool. She is doing what any parent would - trying to protect her child from being used by others - but she is also trying, at least publicly, to keep separate her parenting and her politics. For most LGBT parents, that is an impossible task. Not that we had children for political reasons - and in that, I agree with Mary - but LGBT parenting is political because it is being debated in statehouses and courthouses across the country, regardless of our personal motivations. We rail at Mary Cheney because she is attempting to do what we would all desperately like to do: stop our families from being used by politicians to win elections.

For LGBT parents, however, at this point in history, love, politics, civil rights and parenting are too intertwined to separate. Rather than waste our energy wishing things were otherwise, let us do the opposite, and work to integrate those elements into a stronger whole. A parenting driven by pride in our families and a willingness to stand up for them will help us raise children who are confident, courageous citizens. And a politics driven by the love of our children and our desire to ensure their civil rights has a passion behind it that can take it far; farther, perhaps, than a politics driven by a sense of privilege and entitlement.

Dana Rudolph is the founder and publisher of Mombian (www.mombian.com), a blog and resource directory for LGBT parents. She lives with her partner and their three-year-old son.

It’s been a busy week for our OUTSpoken families - it’s time to set your TiVo and VCR again! Family Pride is pleased to announce that one of our newest OUTSpoken families is going to be featured on Fox’s Trading Spouses tonight (check local listings) in a two-part episode.

Pepper and Judy are lesbian moms with two children, Corey and Shea and live in San Diego, CA. For more information about this family’s experience on Trading Spouses, check out GLAAD’s coverage.

This episode features the show’s first same-sex couple, and increases the visibility of LGBTQ-parented families. In this political climate, visibility is key for our families in changing hearts and minds across the country.

Congratulations to Pepper and Judy in this amazing victory - and thanks again to Mark and Andy, another OUTSpoken family, for their Oprah appearance earlier this week!

Back by popular demand, Family Pride is organizing a contingent of LGBTQ-headed families to participate in the White House Egg Roll again this year.

With your help, on April 9th, hundreds of LGBTQ-parented families will fill the White House Lawn, rolling easter eggs side by side with our fellow citizens. At Family Pride, we believe that by participating fully and openly in time honored traditions like the egg roll we can help the American public come to know our families.

Last year’s egg roll was an amazing time - and for one weekend, this country was introduced to our families on a grand scale. And in addition to educating people about our lives, we had a great time rolling eggs, meeting amazing children’s characters and participating in an amazing family celebration. Check out this clip to see some of our coverage:

So, help make history again by joining us or volunteering at the egg roll! If you can’t make it to the event, please financially support the visibility of LGBTQ-parented families - changing hearts and minds across the country.

To explore this event, our media/blog coverage and to see how you can help, visit Family Pride’s White House Egg Roll Action Center. To learn more about the important work of Family Pride, sign up for our eNews.

As we expand our voice, we are thrilled to bring you our first guest blogger, Trey Lathe. Thanks, Trey, for your contribution regarding Family Pride’s 2006 White House Egg Roll. Last year we attended the Easter Egg Roll at the White House. Though we live in San Francisco, we have family in D.C. and this seemed like an excellent opportunity to help our families.

If the goal was to have fun, we succeeded ten-fold. If it was to make our families visible, to instigate the discussion and increase those “teaching moments”, then it was a resounding success.

The morning was drizzly, cool and grey the day of the “roll.” But we were excited and all our four-year-old daughter could talk about was finding Easter eggs. When we arrived at the designated meeting tent (people enter by timed groups), we were greeted by a wall of photographers, journalists and videographers. Many, but not all, in our tent were composed of GBLT families with their rainbow leis. Then it was onto the White House Lawn and fun. We rolled and hunted for eggs, listened to music, took pictures. It was one of the most memorable and fun days of our daughter’s life. Heck, she got to meet her favorite PBS character, Leona the Lion! The entire time on the lawn, grey and drizzly, was a huge blast for all three of us.

It was also “visibility.” The straight families and volunteers could not but help to see us and in those few days we were interviewed or photographed by ABC local and national affiliates, CBS local affiliates and national, the Washington Post, the San Francisco Chronicle and others I haven’t counted. We must have talked to several dozen tourists and residents too.

For our family, this was a turning point. There were no pickets, not slogans, no shouts or protests. We required no legislative action, we had no list of demands. We only stepped out so the country will know us, because we believe that if they know us, it will be more difficult to discriminate against us. And see us they did! And we had a blast doing it.

Trey Lathe is a proud papa to 4-year-old Emma and husband and soulmate to Guy Berryessa. He chronicles the fun of parenting and life in general at Daddy, Papa & Me (http://www.lathefamily.org). You can read more about the experience there.