Family Pride’s Blog

The media frenzy over Mary Cheney and Heather Poe’s pregnancy has started to die down. Perhaps Mary and Heather can better focus now on caring for each other and planning ahead for their baby-to-be. At Family Pride, we know how important it is for prospective parents to enjoy their right to privacy as they envision and chart out their family’s future. We strive to create a world in which all parents can do just that. But we also recognize that that world doesn’t currently exist. We weighed in on the debate about LGBTQ parents surrounding Mary and Heather precisely because we know our voices must be heard, loud and clear, for family equality to be achieved. If we’d left the debate to the other side, all we would have heard is more vicious lies about LGBTQ people’s capacity to care and love for others.

On the January 25th edition of CNN’s “The Situation Room,” well-known journalist Wolf Blitzer interviewed the soon-to-be grandfather of Mary and Heather’s baby, Vice President Dick Cheney. In the days after Mary and Heather announced their pregnancy, we heard from the Cheneys that they were excited about the coming birth of their 6th grandchild, but that’s about all we heard. Despite the fact that Family Pride and others made it clear in public statements that the anti-family policies of the Bush Administration stand in stark contrast to the health and well-being of even the Vice President’s own daughter, Dick and Lynn made no public response. In the interview with Wolf Blitzer, however, the issue of Mary and Heather’s pregnancy came up again. This time, the criticism being discussed came from the right:

“Mary Cheney’s pregnancy raises the question of what’s best for children,” said James Dobson, founder and chairman of Focus on the Family, a radical right organization. “Just because it’s possible to conceive a child outside of the relationship of a married mother and father doesn’t mean it’s the best for the child.” Blitzer read this statement aloud to the Vice President and asked for his response.

“Do you want to respond to that?” said Blitzer.
“No,” Dick Cheney said, “I don’t.”

As Blitzer pushed, Cheney did manage to eek out his original statement again - I’m happy and excited about my 6th grandchild. I love my daughters. But he also told Blitzer that he was “out of line with that question.”

Watch the clip for yourself:

What’s out of line about asking a father to respond to personal attacks against his own daughter? You might say that the Cheneys have a right to claim Mary and Heather’s pregnancy as a private family matter. We at Family Pride wish it were so. But the right will stop at nothing to discredit LGBTQ-parented families, not even at their favorite Vice President’s door. And besides, Mary Cheney is not being dragged out of hiding. She announced her pregnancy. She’s run political campaigns. She even criticized her father’s own administration’s stance on marriage equality in her book, Now It’s My Turn: A Daughter’s Chronicle of Political Life.

Let’s get real, here. Family equality is a serious matter. The livelihoods of our families - all families, including the Vice President’s daughter’s - are at stake. We applaud Mary to the extent that she’s stood up and made her family visible. But we question Dick Cheney’s commitment to his daughter when he pleads the 5th on her ability to parent. We have to wonder, had Mary been attacked for being a Republican or a business major would her father have backed down?

Or maybe sitting across from Wolf Blitzer, stumped by a question about his daughter’s capacity for love and caring, being criticized by his own base, the radical right, he finally came face-to-face with his own worst nightmare - his personal and continued responsibility for the hate and discrimination LGBTQ people and their families face in this country. And when he faced it, he shied away.

That’s why it’s so important for all of us out there who do see the absolute need for family equality to step up and be visible, to take action every day, to make up for the losses of people like Dick Cheney. Amazing, isn’t it, that man who can help orchestrate a massive war can’t stand up for his family at home.

Take a stand. There is strength in numbers - be a part of the movement for family equality. Enter your email and zip code below.

We were thrilled to receive so many great pictures from so many loving families. As such, we decided to re-publish our Family Photo Album.

Real faces, names and stories make a real difference. Seeing and hearing from our families is believing. When non-LGBTQ Americans can’t associate our faces and our voices with the need for family equality, our families remain abstract and stereotyped. Let’s change that. Let’s make it personal. Check out our album below, and take a moment to submit your family photo.

Family Pride’s Family Photo Album

Flowers, chocolate, candy hearts, teddy bears, candles, and celebrations of love: Valentine’s Day (February 14) has long been observed as a time to let your feelings shine. For LGBTQ people, it can also be a perfect time to remind relatives, friends, neighbors, teachers, peers, co-workers, and others that love is what makes a family.

Too often, the LGBTQ population goes unnoticed during Valentine’s Day. This year, Family Pride challenges you to make your voice heard in a way that’s creative and fun. Spend time together and be visible by making inclusive Valentine’s Day cards with your family to give to people in your community.

Here are some ideas to help your family create your cards:

• Love makes a family!
• Happy Valentine’s Day from our family to yours.
• Love. Justice. Family. Equality.

Research shows that potential allies are most likely to support LGBTQ equality once they know three or more LGBTQ people personally. Use your imagination and come up with your own way to show how you and your family celebrate love.

My four year old son, Tommy, was thrilled when he received a green corduroy blazer for Christmas. He couldn’t wait to wear it to school, because he said he would look just like his teacher, who also wears a corduroy blazer. A few weeks ago, he proudly put together an outfit and wore his blazer to school.

When my wife, Cheryl, picked Tommy up after school, he was visibly upset. Tommy said, “Mom, I got shy about wearing my blazer.” Apparently, another classmate made fun of Tommy for wearing his blazer. It absolutely broke my heart.

A few nights later, I was watching American Idol. Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson were judging various singers - and then Kenneth Briggs took center stage. Because of societal standards, it is likely that this young man had been ridiculed most of his life. After an otherwise average performance, Simon commented that Kenneth looked “a little odd… like one of those creatures that live in the jungle with massive eyes… a bush baby.”

Jonathan Jayne was next. He too, has probably been the butt of many a joke. Jonathan is a special Olympic athlete - his parents have stated that he has mild autism. Before Jonathan even started singing, Simon joked about Jonathan’s weight. Jonathan sang God Bless America. After he left, Paula, Simon and Randy laughed hysterically. Take a look for yourself. Watch this clip from the Today Show’s coverage:

Rosie O’Donnell, on “The View“, drew the connection. “Isn’t that what America thinks is entertainment? To make fun of someone’s physical appearance. And then when they leave the room, to laugh hysterically at them.”

We applaud Rosie for being outspoken and for making the connection that when a show as wildly popular as American Idol regularly ridicules people, not for their bad singing or dancing, but for looking different, it shouldn’t be any wonder that we have problems with kids teasing kids in school. Studies show that between 15-25% of US students are frequently bullied while 15-20% report that they bully others frequently (Nansel, Overpeck, et al, 2001; Melton , Limber et al, 1998; Geffner, et al, 2001). An estimated 160,000 US students miss school each day due to fear of attack or intimidation from peers (NEA, 1995). Victims of bullying may fear going to school, using the bathroom and riding on the school bus (NEA1, 2003). And most shockingly, 25% of teachers see nothing wrong with bullying or putdowns (Cohn & Canter, 2002).

No one deserves to be ridiculed for being different. Family Pride makes schools safe and inclusive for all children by educating parents, teachers and administrators about working together to create diversity programming and to ensure that bullying is not tolerated. The society in which we live can either lift up that mission or drag it down. Stand firm with Family Pride - join our eNews to find out how you can help.

On Monday, WCAU-TV/NBC 10 Philadelphia reported on the Evesham, NJ School District’s decision to include all loving families in their school’s ciriculium. According to the report, parents were angry that their children were being taught about gay and lesbian-parented families. Click below to watch the news clip.

After seeing this clip, I decided to see what all the fuss is about - and watch the film in question that was shown to the elementary school students. The same film that, according to one father, is “absolutely appalling.” The video is titled That’s a Family and was produced specifically for elementary school students by Women’s Education Media as part The Respect For All Project.

The film is a half-hour documentary that helps kids understand the many different shapes of today’s families - foster parents, grandparent-headed families, guardians, single parents, multi-racial families, families that speak different languages or have varying religous beliefs, adopted families, divorced parents and yes, gay and lesbian parents. The film defines guardian, race, gay, lesbian and divorce in a way that children can understand. One child states, “There are many different ways to be a family. It matters that you love each other and take care of each other.”

This film isn’t about “gay marriage.” It’s about teaching children an important and “poignant lesson about love and family,” as stated by Robin Williams. And I’d have to agree. Is it ever too early to teach children about diversity? Is it ever too early to teach children that love makes a family?

Yes, I’m sure that children do have questions after watching this film. But is that necessarily a bad thing? As parents, it is our responsibility to teach children that there are many different kinds of loving families. Films like That’s a Family are powerful tools in facilitating that discussion.

You stood up with Family Pride when the Philadelphia School District came under attack in October for acknowledging Gay & Lesbian History Month. Stand up again and come to the defense of the Evesham School District. If you don’t live in New Jersey, send an email to the school district through Garden State Equality. If you do live in New Jersey, or the surrounding area, go to the school board meeting on February 13 at 8:00PM (25 South Maple Avenue, Marlton). Act now and stand up for all loving families.

Family Pride is thrilled to announce the launch of our Parents Group Corner website. You’ll find this website particularly useful if you are currently involved in a parents group or if you are interested in finding or starting a group of your own. And, even if you aren’t in a parents group, you’ll discover a virtual community of parents, prospective parents and allies in our message boards.

We’ve worked hard to bring together this compilation of resources, publications and interactive forums - so take a minute to poke around. You’ll also discover the first instillation of our Parents Group Kit. These kits were built based from scratch based on the needs of our parents groups. And, they are fully downloadable.

If you are currently part of a parents group that is not listed on our website, then please send us your information. Just for submitting your group, we’ll mail you enough hard copies of the Parents Group Kit to go around.

Visit www.familypride.org/parents today!

A lot of people have been calling, writing and emailing us about Family Week 2007. We’re thrilled that everyone is so excited, and we’re looking forward to the best year yet! Family Week 2007 will be held from July 28 through August 4. It’s important to remember that housing always fills up quickly, so make your reservations now. We recommend checking out the Provincetown Chamber of Commerce for housing information. Registration information is coming soon - so check the Family Pride website often for updates. And stay tuned for an exciting announcement on Feburary 1st!

If you want to stay in the loop, sign up for Family Pride’s eNewsletter.

It’s official! Family Pride dads Mark and Andy Sutherland-Travino, along with their children and great niece, are going to appear on the Oprah Winfrey Show on January 29. We’re thrilled that Oprah is including this positive portrayal of a gay family on her show, and that the Sutherland-Travino will be sharing their story with millions of Americans - changing hearts and minds across the country.

Seize this amazing opportunity and invite family and friends over for a viewing. Throw an Oprah party. Discuss the importance of family equality - create new allies. Use this episode as a stepping stone. It doesn’t matter if you identify as LGBTQ or not - spread the message that love makes a family.

The episode is titled “Extraordinary Families” - check local TV-listings for the exact time of airing.

This November the fundamentalist right got a wake up call - the people of this country are tired of the politics of hate. Whether a majority of Americans are on the side of marriage equality in this moment or not, they do realize that attack politics are unhelpful as this nation moves forward into the 21st century.

We saw this realization in Arizona, where for the first time the marriage equality movement was successful in beating back a state marriage amendment. And where we were not successful, we did make inroads into the hearts and minds of American voters. The numbers in support of marriage bans and amendments dwindle each time the fundamentalist right uses marriage as a divide and conquer tactic for political gain. People are catching on and they’re learning about LGBTQ people and our families. The road ahead will not be smooth, but it will lead us to a definite place - marriage equality for all.

Under the stewardship of Evan Wolfson, executive director for Freedom to Marry, Family Pride and other organizations have mapped out a strategy to win the fight for marriage. It’s called 2020 Vision. It’s a deadline-driven approach.

2020 Vision begins with the idea that to achieve marriage equality nationwide we have to set a date for that victory and work backwards to see what needs to be done. Imagine that marriage equality is possible by the year 2020, then define the work that needs to happen in the next thirteen years. That’s what 2020 Vision does. Here’s what it looks like - by 2020:

10 states must enact full marriage equality;
10 states must create and recognize civil unions;
10 states must create some form of domestic partnerships; (and)
20 states must show “climate change,” or positive shifts in policies affecting LGBTQ people.

2020 works because it understands that all efforts towards LGBTQ equality positively affect the fight for marriage. Some states are more likely to pass full marriage in the next thirteen years than others. But if we can pass legislation prohibiting anti-LGBTQ bullying in the schools of one of our most conservative states and change the minds of voters on LGBTQ issues in another, we’re still moving forward with marriage equality for all.

If we realize the goals of 2020 Vision, in that same year at least 80% of the country will have stood up for partner equality of some kind and 100% will have made their states more welcoming places for LGBTQ people and their families. Our base of support for federal action on marriage equality will be unavoidable. The winds of change will be strong and clear.

LGBTQ parents are key to the fight for marriage. Whether you desire the right to marry or not, you understand the need for LGBTQ people to have access to one of the most culturally valued institutions in this country. You also understand that no other legal arrangement currently offers the same kinds and numbers of rights and protections for families as marriage. As LGBTQ parents, you have access to non-LGBTQ people in unique ways. The conversations you can have with other parents - at your child(ren)’s school, on the job, at the playground - will make the need for marriage equality real for the vast majority of voters in this country - non-LGBTQ people.

Family Pride wants to help you do your part to make marriage equality - full family equality - a reality for all loving families. If you haven’t already, sign up on our e-mail list. We’ll periodically provide updates on the movement and where we’re headed. We’ll let you know when to take action. We’ll give you resources to take make change every day. We’ll keep you informed.

It is a politically important time for our families in California. More ballot measures are on their way; the time to prepare is now.

Family Pride is thrilled to be partnering with Our Family Coalition, San Diego Family Matters, L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Family Services Program and COLAGE. Our OUTSpoken trainings are organized by the California Family Unity Network (CalFUN). Together, we are inviting LGBTQ-parented families, youth and adults with one or more LGBT parent, and allies from all over California to participate this new year in Family Pride’s OUTSpoken Families Speakers Bureau.

OUTSpoken Families, the speakers bureau, is engaging over 700 parents and allies across the country to share the reality of our families’ lives, combating the radical right’s misinformation crusade on LGBTQ-parented families.

The comprehensive and interactive OUTSpoken trainings that we are offering in California will equip LGBTQ-headed families and their allies to be effective and knowledgeable speakers and advocates.

In addition to responding to media opportunities and speaking requests, OUTSpoken families will seek out opportunities to share the reality of their lives with legislators, faith and school communities, and community and civic organizations.

In conjunction with Family Pride’s OUTSpoken Training for adults, COLAGE will be offering their Speak OUT Media training for youth and adults with LGBT parents. Check out the locations and dates below, and RSVP for the training near you today!

San Francisco, CA
Saturday Jan 27th 10:00am-2:00pm
SF LGBT Community Center, 1800 Market Street

San Diego, CA
Saturday Feb 3rd 10:00am-2:00pm
San Diego LGBT Community Center, 3909 Centre Street

Los Angeles, CA
Sunday Feb 4th 1:00pm-5:00pm
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Village at Ed Gould Plaza, 1125 N. McCadden Place

Childcare is provided, and all are welcome to attend - free of charge - RSVP today!

LGBTQ parents, youth and adults with LGBTQ parent(s), extended family members and caring allies have all committed to becoming part of this groundbreaking and very powerful ensemble.