Family Pride’s Blog

Today my blood is really boiling. Rarely do I write for the Family Pride blog from my own perspective, but I am so angry I just can’t help myself. I don’t know how many of you have seen the story about a town in Illinois called Shiloh Village that is considering taking the book And Tango Makes Three off the shelves of their school library. Well, the story goes something like this:

And Tango Makes Three sits peacefully on the shelves of the school’s library. A mother checks it out. Mom is reading the book and gets to the line about the penguins being two daddies. Mom stops reading the book; she’s uncomfortable. She demands that the book be segregated and put into an “adult content” section of the library. Heated debate ensues: is Tango “appropriate” for young children to read?

I don’t know about you, but as the mother of twin 4½ year old boys, I’m sick to death of being told that stories mirroring my family are inappropriate. I’m tired of hearing that my partner and I being two moms is inappropriate. I’m tired of everywhere being invisible. And given that I’m a privileged parent, I can only imagine how hard these things are for those parents who don’t live in a predominantly white, upper middle-class, progressive, urban community in a city like Washington, DC.

I am lucky that my children go to a very welcoming school where their Pre-K teacher has taken the time to know my partner and me. He knows that Timmy and Tommy, my sons, call me Mommy and my partner Mom. I am lucky that my children’s school has a book Todd Parr’s The Family Book that showcases the multitudes of different families that exist. I am lucky that I can actually afford to buy books that do show my children a more diverse representation of what families are, instead of having to rely on already financially strapped local and school libraries to carry this literature. Because you can sure bet that the majority of libraries in this country do not carry books such as And Tango Makes Three.

This doesn’t even mean that local and school libraries intentionally exclude such books; part of the problem lies in the fact that, almost universally, books featuring parents have married moms and dads. And almost everywhere my partner and I go, strangers still ask us and our children whether “their parents” are sisters. Is there a connection? You bet there is!

So, what is so “inappropriate” about this book? That it tells the story of two penguins who find each other and fall in love? That it tells the story of two penguins who care for a forgotten, untended egg and hatch a baby penguin? That it shows the two penguins loving each other and their baby? No - the only thing people find inappropriate is that it’s two male penguins who are doing all of this.

The reality is that there are approximately 10 million children being raised in LGBTQ-headed households in this country. Those children should have the right to see their lives reflected back to them at home, in their communities and in their schools. The lives of LGBTQ parents and our children should be discussed whenever the issue of family comes up - because like it or not, we are families. We love each other, support each other, we make breakfast together, we take our kids to school, we make playdates and care for our aging parents. And like all loving families across this country we deserve to be recognized, respected, protected, and celebrated!

To those of you reading this who have the means to purchase books, I ask you to visit our e-store where you can buy a copy of And Tango Makes Three and other LGBTQ-inclusive books and donate them to libraries in your communities. If you can’t make a purchase right now, but have some books lying around your house, make a statement by giving them to your libraries, as well. However we do it, we need to fill this country’s schools and communities with positive portrayals of family diversity. We must be visible in order to have our families recognized, to claim the respect we know we deserve. In whatever way you can, take a stand today to combat ignorance, censorship, and fear. Our families - all people - deserve better.

Thank you for sharing in this moment of rage. As LGBTQ parents, there’s nothing more infuriating than the constant criticism that our families aren’t real.

Jennifer Chrisler
Executive Director of Family Pride

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